Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@shitwithsugaron my Dsis recommended it to be honest, although im not sure why on reflection as she hasnt had a lot of luck
Its quite Tinder-esque to be honest but seems to be full of losers (I trying to break a cycle of going for loser types!... living with mum in their 40s... clue to my other thread there )

How are you getting on? Have been reading the threads for months, but only just single again / ready to jump in.

Has anyone tried any professional match-maker services? Yes. Im mid thirties and at that point of thinking.

@Dancerinthemoonlight .... wait wait wait... no hasty moves...is he rich?!

Dancerinthemoonlight wait...what?? Where you chatting or was that his opening message? And did you accept? 🤣

Jane1978xx I'm not sure dropping my age to 49 is helping me. I'm trying the 1km trick to see who's already liked me. It's depressing. Homer Simpson look a-likes only. Hoping it might get better in the evening.

@shitwithsugaron oh lordy! No im not seeing much positive with badoo so far.
Not on any others yet, my first day back on the horse. Recommendations?
Im happy to pay for it, if it delivers better results / less weirdos and dossers.

I have only tried POF. Lots of weeds to get through but I have met some good guys on there. Some absolute weirdos though.

I've done tinder, bumble and hinge. I only started hinge just before I got back with Mr B so didn't get to form a proper view.

I like the extras on Bumble so height, smoking, what are they looking for etc. But I didn't like the woman having to message first. And the 24 hour response time was a bit limiting.

The 3 men I've dated in the last 18 months were all from tinder. I think they also used PoF.

Hi everyone.

I am new to the thread and so apologize I haven't read the whole thread, it is quite long 😄

I have skimmed through though as I'm sure its been a topic here but I didn't see anything that would answer my question

So I went on a first date last night. Believe it or not it's someone I matched with 3 years ago and never met, and kept in a bit of contact with. I think he thinks the date went better than I did. When I messaged to say thank you he replied back with all positive stuff, I was amazing company, would like to do it again etc. He's messaged me again today to see how I am. I just don't think I like him in the same way he seems to like me though. He is a nice guy I will say that, and he would make a very good friend. But from my side not more than that. He was a bit hands on which I wasn't keen on, did have a kiss which didn't wow me. I should feel wowed shouldn't I? Please go easy on me, this was my first date in 30 years eek. But I don't know what to say to him. I mean I like you but just as a friend sounds a bit cliché doesn't it?

So romantic.

@Highlighta cliche but true?!
Lets be honest, dating is the trail period. He didnt pass the first face to face hurdle, so dont feel too bad about it, just let him know gently you wouldnt like to see him again.
Dont offer friendship, he could see that as 'maybe in the future' or 'yay ill still get to see her and persuade her' if hes really keen / unhinged.

@shitwithsugaron thanks for the info... im looking for all the info i can get.
My ex-DP was from PoF and ive met people off PoF and Match.com before. Never had much luck with Tinder though.

@Notcoolmum yes i agree bumble is limiting. Tried it for a day once and gave up, after not getting any responses to a couple of messages.

highlighta the first date after 30 years for me was a total shock to the system, I just sat there thinking WTF? I wouldn’t have known what a spark was if it had literally set me on fire at that point. But I went away and thought about it, then agreed to see him again. Second date turned out to be the best sex in 30 years! I’m not saying that’s typical by any means but I guess I’m saying give him another chance?

@WhereDidAllTheFunGo you have to try them all and see what suits you.
I paid for Match a couple of years ago and had a few nice dates but none that really suited me.
I've had the most success with Tinder
Bumble never works for me. I've not had a single date despite trying it a few times.
POF is ok but you need to ignore most of the messages.
OKCupid has never worked for me either.

A lot of it is luck, where you live and persistence.

@Dancerinthemoonlight We would love a thread wedding!

I've just been unmatched on Tinder because I'm too tall.
I'm 5ft 7.
He said he wanted someone small and petite, which I'm clearly not from my photos

shitwithsugaron I prefer someone who's taller than me.
When they wrap their arms round you for a cuddle and you somehow feel safe and secure.
I don't feel like I'm tall but if I'm on a date with someone the same height or shorter, it makes me feel big and awkward.

You shouldn't feel bad @shitwithsugaron We all have our own likes and dislikes. Mr List wasn't the right person for you.
And size 14 isn't chunky!

Having been on countless dates over the last few years, I can't honestly say what I want. But I know what I don't want.

I’m tall (5’8) and size 16-18 so I’ve always dated 5’11 and above until Mr GN, who is 5’9. I don’t think I could do shorter than me. It works with him because he’s got a big tum so makes me feel almost slender!

In the month I had when Mr T ditched me I wrote a list of exactly what I was looking for in a man. Things that were absolute deal breakers in 1 column, things he had to be good at, physical attributes, personality. It made swiping easier as I had an idea who I wanted. It was quite liberating and allowed me to sack off any irons that didn't make my criteria. I realise it makes me sound quite picky but I was picky and wanted someone that would tick all of my boxes. On mine and MrM's first date it was clear that he was ticking a lot of my boxes - it was 5 hours of conversation that flowed and could have gone on for a lot longer. I also realise how lucky I am to have found someone only 7 miles away from me. I did an awful lot of soul searching in that month.

I wonder why ladies clothes are numbers rather than measurements.

Well I'm home. I'm just not sure how he sees things, I know the sensible thing would be to ask but I can't do that. I could if he was easier to communicate with, but as I said he isn't a deep talker, and I can't ask the question.

I like him...he's treated me well all weekend, cooking, running round, being affectionate, cuddling, the sex is getting better. I just think he is sooo chilled He's treated me very well, it's just the communication issue when we are talking, it can feel like hard work.

He said last weekend how much he liked me, but hasn't this weekend. Last weekend was much easier, and I'm not getting the same reassuring vibes from him ( again could be my insecurities).

So we left it that he would check if he has his son next weekend and if not could come to mine a night, so the onus is on him to sort, I'm not chasing up. I have kids to sort as well.

I've no idea how this will pan out....I can't read him at all 🤔

We have now seen eachother 5 / 6 times...