Dating Thread 185. Rule 6 reminder - People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hmm wouldn’t be happy about someone being annoyed about you being out
I don’t think that’s ok
I’m going out tonight with a friend and if I got a snotty message I would be fuming!

The whole silent or not discussion has been an eye opener for me. My ex-h made me feel like I was weird for being quiet during sex, so I learnt to be a bit more vocal because I assumed that was what everyone was like. And all the men I've slept with very short list have made some noise.

I don't need a running commentary and I'm not comfortable doing much talking. But Mr Silent last night gave me no clues that he was enjoying himself - apart from the very obvious. No chat, no heavy breathing, no moans and groans. His facial expression didn't really change much either.

He could've been thinking about his cuddly toys or how much vacuuming he needed to do, for all I knew

@menora exactly. My thoughts on it are we had one date, it lasted an hour and half maybe 2 hours. It was good and a peck on the lips when we said bye but that's it. He will text me most days to see how I'm getting along but no video calls or anything. Conversation has completely dropped off.
I don't know what to think of Mr Army. He said he has apparently never been on a proper first date before. Has just done the fwb thing. Wants to have a relationship but it's difficult with his job and he works another part time job at the weekend.
I have a few other irons for potential dates.
Is it rude just to block Mr Unexpected. He has started to call me 'my girl' we haven't even met, cancelled the first date on Tuesday but wanted to see me Monday late and has just texted to see if it's too late to see me tonight. I know I'm not always the best at seeing amber/red flags but that to me seems like he just wants a hookup and not an actual date

Are you sure you want another date with mr Dimples @Dancerinthemoonlight and not rude to block the man calling you 'his girl'.

Aaargh tell me not to go back to Mr U and say yes to sex. Tinder is shocking. After one good initial day it's just been dreadful since. I'm a bit stuck as I'm picky. I don't do corporate/suits, I don't do blue collar types, I like alternative/scruffy types. But 50+ ones are all just such dicks.

I also may have agreed to some sex dates with someone who is so totally my type but clearly states he's only there for casual. I swore I wouldn't do casual. I turned down my old FB recently and two lovely young Europeans yesterday as I don't want casual. But I've said yes to this rather gorgeous man. Or not yes, possibly.

I'm useless at this. No boundaries whatsoever.

The sex is the only issue so far with me...the silence is improving so all good. I feel mean though as every time we have been doing things I've told him what I like, he started to then changed so I told him again it's not quite right, and told him again...😂 3 times in, surprised he's not annoyed. It's better to get them on the right track early though, rather than pretending....I think 🤔

He seems thoughtful though in bed, I know I struggle to relax the first few times. I think it's me, not him on this occasion.

@Dancerinthemoonlight just block him. And mr dimples is bang out of order. He's stringing you along then getting in a strop.

Glad you're home @shitwithsugaron hopefully you'll sort things with mr list. I still think you sound underwhelmed. You were very gushy when you met mr bookworm...

@dancer Mr Dimples sounds very controlling after 1 date. I think it's a red flag and blocking now is best?

Mr Army is far ahead than Me Dimples. Rapidly going off Mr Dimples. Not going to ask for another date with him. I has said about the second date before he got all pissy because I didn't respond.

@SimonJT. I get you the one being banged is louder than the one doing the banging is what I find 😂.

What I’m not keen on is men saying I’m coming, I’m going to come etc im not sure why. More general oh year, this is good, yeah babe/ x etc is better 😂

I’ve booked a night away with mr g and I’m
Like a stupid grinning person 😂

Blocked Mr Unexpected also had to block a potential new iron. Wanted to video call which I'm fine with. Kept asking to see my legs/feet and wouldn't take no for an answer. Date on Tuesday evening with a new iron I will call Mr Smile

Weird evening
Went out with my best friend this evening. Mr M usually goes out on Thursdays but made a big deal of not going out this week but then went out anyway. I was generally ignoring him as with my friend till I get a notification on FB that he has listed himself in a RS with me and also tagged me on a photo on IG
So I ended up calling him to say WTF turns out he kept it private anyway to him so it’s only all on MY profile

@Menora
What the actual?
Was he drunk when he did it?
He seems very childish at times.

Agree with above @Menora he seems a little childish and also why is he telling you what he is doing in such detail after you’ve known him a few weeks x

Jane we're all so different - if anyone called me babe I'd be out of there so fast 😂

@menora no one can see it unless you accept the tags? But what is he trying to achieve? Why was he texting you when he knew you were out? I'd expect a 'have a good night speak tomorrow' and no more. It sounds like he wanted to infiltrate your night out and as you weren't giving him the attention he wanted he decided to do something he knew you couldn't ignore.

I'd be annoyed at being contacted on my night out. It's controlling behaviour.

@
@dancerinthemoonlight yuk. That video call sounds awful.

Yeh I'd hate babe. But I don't mind the 'I'm cumming'.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I think it’s a welsh thing 🤷🏼‍♀️ (Maybe) I don’t mind it , it is genuinely a term on endearment

Someone called me "babester" once in the throes of passion. 🤢 mind you he was beautifully descriptive during the act and we had great sex. But he was a knob. Of course.

@menora that's attention seeking of the highest order. But you know that. He does sound like a large cuddly child.

I'm rapidly going off the whole thing again. The only person I've clicked with is the guy whose wife just left. Mr Baggage. I'm not sure we'll meet and I can tell he's massively over investing in me as he's not done OLD before. I've had a few nice chats but no one I fancy meeting. Plus it's sucking up all my time. I'm glued to my bloody phone. I'll give it a few more days I think then uni ramps up again and I won't have time. I'm slowly resigning myself to being terminally single. Bit depressing.

I’d take anything over the names my ex h called me

Aww jane that’s so heartfelt 💐 and spot on. Personally I love how different men are in what they say etc in bed.

Ah @Jane1978xx that's terrible. So glad you've found a good Un in Mr G. Actually my ex called me baby now I think if it. Which is really yuk.

I find OLD makes me very hard and cynical and cold very quickly. I need to keep an eye on that.

He is a large cuddly man child. Spot on. I got a text that was along the lines of ‘miss you I want cuddles’ 😂
I don’t think he does these things to be controlling exactly as he sees it all as a bit of a laugh and to get my attention

Turns out that no you can see it on mine unless I accept it teehee but you can see it on his and he’s had a load of comments about it - so he’s screwed himself not me haha haha

I'm surprised you find it funny @menora I'd find it extremely immature, Attention seeking, controlling and certainly irritating.

I took off my relationship status when me and my exh separated and I won't be replacing it with anything for anyone!