What do you make of this?

[Bellafish]

I'm a 39 year old woman who has been single for 3 years now.. it's been very difficult for me I recently started a new job about 8 months ago and hit it off with a guy who I was sat next to. Hes 35 very chatty and flirty and we get on like a house on fire.theres something that's been really giggling me though. He has made out to me hes single but another girl who I recently got talking to told me hes not and was like well maybe hes having problems with her but I'm80%sure hes not
I did say to this him and he seemed very annoyed saying shes a liar and that when he started he was in a relationship with the mother of his two children but split up with her a year ago and says he doest tell anyone at work because "they're all nosy f**kers and use it against you"

This isnt all tho..he only sees me after work taking me out to lunch or to his mates flat because he lives far away from where our workplace is..sometimes we go to mine but he always rushes off.. he says it's because he lives far out which is true because this is common knowledge in his work. Our workplace is in the centre and he lives in a little outside village from the city. So I know hes not lying he also says he sometimes has his eldest come round after shes had her tea at her mums ?? I really really like him but in quite gutted because on Valentines day he didnt do anything except get me a card. I was hoping hed take me out and wed go out for a few drinks but nothing I dont know if he knew I was upset as he again said it's hard for him on weekends because he has the kids iv only ever seen him on a friday night and that's it..I wouldn't say were exclusive but we are seeing each other and everything is so good he makes me laugh, incredible sex etc I just dont know why hes not being more serious or exclusive? He sometimes snaps at me not to tell people at work. The only reason the other woman and me discussed him as she mentioned how he looked good with his new haircut I kind of accidentally on purpose made a joke saying well I'm sure someones snapped him up and that's when she said hes withsomeone...married or engaged i think" her exact words. He has no wedding ring on his fingers before anyone asks..i am so confused yet so upset. He gives me a quick call in the evenings only on some days then txts me around 9-10pm and says hes going to sleep . I hardly hear from him on weekends and when indo it's very rushed txting no phone calls.

What does everyone think? How do I approach this without him snapping or being put off? Its early days so I cant exactly ask him if hes lying to me I think hed be very turned off?

Requested to move desks. Request granted!
I move desks next week..I just think it's too awkward sat near him.
He is still txting me asking me what the hell is wrong with me and have I never known a couple to split up to be forced to live together because of inflation, finances etc. I havent replied to those texts yet but I can see hes getting more and more frustrated.
His last texts read "you obviously didnt like me as much as you made out. As I dont get why you would act so extreme with me just telling you the living arrangements which is for MY KIDS. And NO I'm not still with my ex. WE GET ON BUT FOR THE KIDS. How many times do I need to say this?

I had responded to his texts that I just didnt believe they still weren't in a relationship and it would be too complicated to carry on.

Why don't you just block his number? Then you won't have to see his texts and won't be tempted to respond further.

You should only reply if you’re telling him that you want to see proof that he’s told her about you - which he should be happy to do if they split a year ago.
Although I don’t really think you should reply at all as his responses tell you everything - blameshifting; verbally abusive towards your co-worker (which reeks of guilt); and gaslighting. He’s not worth your time.

One of my best friends still lives with his ex partner, for financial reasons and for the kids. It has been like that for a few years now.

However, when he started seeing someone else (such a lovely girl, great catch) their growing relationship has been ruined by him refusing to change his situation. I think he's an idiot.

So, I do think that it's possible him and his ex aren't together and see other people. HOWEVER, he should not have kept it secret from you. Very disrespectful to you. The trust has been ruined.

Also, I struggle to believe its impossible to live separately. I see a fear in change and laziness. The kids will be fine as long as parents are happy. So yeah, you did the right thing by leaving and if he can't understand that, he's a dick.

Him getting angry at you and trying to get you to doubt your feelings is out of order. He thought he could have his cake and eat it too, he should be profusely apologising and trying to explain himself. Thank goodness for the "nosey" woman who was clearly looking out for you.

Also, my friend and his ex haven't told their families that they aren't together anymore so them living together is keeping up appears. So cowardly in my opinion. The man you've been seeing can insist over and over that nothings going on but I think, how can someone move on and get closure if the living situation is the same and kids think they're still together? He sounds so sly and selfish. You deserve better xx

So after all that he's calling the woman who told you the truth a bitch?
He's not sorry he's lied and cheated on you and his wife, he's just sorry his number is up. I don't think you're the first either.
Hugs to you OP. You have had a lucky escape. I have been there too and had no idea. As someone whose first husband cheated on her, it's too awful for words when you realise you've been the unwitting other woman, I know.
Sending you a hug xxx

Block him now so he can't rant at you and you won't be tempted to text back

ow, OP, I hope you can see now what a really nasty piece of work this 'man' is.

Block him everywhere.