Can't believe it

[mugoverandover]

Sitting acrosss the front room from my "DP",
I've been suspicious for a while, last night when he was asleep I linked his Facebook to my phone, right this second I am on it and so is he, messaging another girl,
I'm furious our 8 year old DS is sat in between us I want to lose my fucking shit! He asked her if her daughter is sleeping out this weekend, she said no and he said ok babe!
I'm shaking, I don't know if to tell him I know or to keep watching for a day or so to see what they say 😭😭😭😭

Honestly OP i'm so sorry you're going through this, but being on your own is way better than being with this fella you're with - he's enough to screw anyone's self esteem. You need to get rid of him and spend some time focusing on yourself and what you really want. Being single really isn't so bad, it's actually pretty cool. Don't be scared of it all you can do it!

I think that is an excellent goal for counselling.

Your goal is to build confidence and have a stronger ‘mindset’ in order to do what? In other words, what’s your behavioural goal? If you could wave a magic wand and have that confidence and mindset, and weren’t making catastrophic predictions, what would you be doing differently?

To my mind, a goal that is about what you want and what it means for you is much more useful, rather than what you don’t want to be. Counselling would be really useful to reflect upon any unhelpful patterns and how you could do things differently in future but you might also find CBT useful to make you aware of your unhelpful predictions about the future and help you introduce a more rational assessment of your future.

After all there’s nothing more lonely than being in a bad relationship is there?

Where are you from OP? If you was anywhere near me I’d be down for a meet up and chin wag! We all need friends.

I am from Manchester @PrettyLittleLiar20 ☺️

Thank you everyone I do like reading this post back because your all so kind and I like being told I can do it 💪🏼 x

You sound so sad I really feel bad for you . You obviously have low self esteem , who wouldn’t bring with a dog like him He knows you’re insecure, but rather than build you up he chooses to creep around behind your back and cheat on you ,he’s beneath contempt.
Go to see your counselor, do some things for yourself, to improve your self image , maybe try a Zumba class , something fun . I don’t say that in any negative way at all , I noticed you mentioned you wish he’d done this when you has lost a bit of weight , I’m assuming that is one of your goals .
Firstly get to your happy place , feel confident in yourself , then making friends will be so much easier .
Once you feel great , have friends to support you you can kick this sack of shit into the gutter where he belongs .
Remember , you CAN do this , and once he’s gone and you are kicking arse , out in the big wide world you will look back at today and wonder why it took you so long to free yourself from him xx

Your right and that is my main goal, since November I have lost just over 2 stone so I am on my way, today I am getting my eyelashes done and doing my tan and getting my hair done as it's my birthday tomorrow 🙂🙂
Super anxious about getting eyelashes done and being lied flat for 2 hours 🥴 but I'll feel much better after! X

Well done you . That’s great . You have already started your journey to feeling much better in yourself . Feeling better will give you the confidence to see you don’t need this loser ruining your life , you are worth so so much more .
Happy Birthday for tomorrow 🍾🧁

Just RTFT OP. Happy birthday for tomorrow. I really hope you give yourself the best present and get rid of this guy. He is in your home messaging other women, that level of disrespect is massive! I've been there. I had the evidence and when I asked, he denied it so I kicked him out there and then. Yes it hurt, but that was temporary, the feeling of it happening again would have been permanent if i had stayed in a relationship with him. Please, be kind to yourself OP and do the best thing.

OP, eyelashes dont take 2 hours. Mine only take 15-20 mins. And they look fab after hope you have a great birthday and enjoy your new lashes