Can't believe it

[mugoverandover]

Sitting acrosss the front room from my "DP",
I've been suspicious for a while, last night when he was asleep I linked his Facebook to my phone, right this second I am on it and so is he, messaging another girl,
I'm furious our 8 year old DS is sat in between us I want to lose my fucking shit! He asked her if her daughter is sleeping out this weekend, she said no and he said ok babe!
I'm shaking, I don't know if to tell him I know or to keep watching for a day or so to see what they say 😭😭😭😭

I don't know where to seek councilling from where do I start? I do think that low of myself yes like I don't blame him because I would probably cheat on me too

I do think that low of myself yes like I don't blame him because I would probably cheat on me too

This is so sad and not true my love.

People cheat because they want to.

Think about it, if you were the unworthy person you think you are then he would leave you - he's crying because he knows you're lovely and he's fucked up a good thing!

If you were so bad he would be relieved and excited about being single but he's not - he's fucked himself over and he's gutted.

A man who has behaved so disrespectfully does not deserve an ounce of your respect.

Why don't you have friends? Go out make friends. Then you'll be less lonely and you won't keep a lazy cheating fecker.

How Long has he not been working for. Is he getting help for his mental health with the intention to return to work. Thank goodness you own the house and he has no claim to it.

If you are in the UK look up the BACP site for accredited therapists in your area.

If you don't get a grip on this now, you are going to accept worse behaviour from him.

www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

You can put self esteem in the search bar

He's not been working for about 2 years and yes he has a psychiatrist but no intention of returning to work, I'm going to get myself therapy definitely, I've just done a self referral to healthy minds I found online so hopefully they can help

Just to add to Windmill’s post: You can also sometimes find affordable counselling with counsellors working towards accreditation with BACP or already accredited, at your local branch of MIND. You can get a referral for free counselling through your GP as counsellors work in IAPT as well as therapists. Waiting lists can be long though and sessions limited in number.

I did see mine when I googled, I've got not credit on my phone for a week though I'll ring them as soon as I have, thank you all I know it's not good because I didn't get him to leave but hopefully if I can get a bit more confident I won't be so afraid of being alone, I 100% need to find friends, I don't know why I don't have any the last ones I had were just always busy and not the best of friends, I don't know how to meet friends 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Mind sorry not mine

He sounds a right catch....
Chuck him. You can do better. Being alone sounds better than wasting your life with him

He cried because he doesn't want to lose his easy life as a cocklodger with you. Please op have some respect for yourself, everyone deserves better than this.

Is this the example you want to set for your son?

Oh I feel for you. It's great you're going to get some counselling, that will help you so much. Get your confidence built up and you'll be much happier.

How are you feeling today OP?

Rubbish, I just want him to chose me but I know I deserve better than this, I'm going to do the councilling definitely! I really need to find some friends but I don't know how 🤷🏼‍♀️ x

Isnt it part of the script for him to cry? Did he say he was truly sorry? Trouble if he got away with ot the first time he’ll do it again... why does his mental health mean he can’t work?

You’ll find friends OP when you feel worthy of them. I know that sounds weird but if you allow yourself to be treated like this, you’ll lose you feeling of value. You’ll feel not good enough. You’ll question everything. You’ll lose your ability to trust, to feel safe, to trust someone liking you, loving you. The hurt will eat away at you.
It’s brilliant that you’re getting some counselling, but chose your counsellor carefully. Some will just say ‘oh dear, that must feel bad’ but don’t actually help you process it.
You can do this.

Ps, This isn’t about who he chooses. If a guy have more than one to choose from, get away.
The only choice to be made is this...You should choose you! You get a life of friends, laughter, trust, love and to live YOUR life, not wilt away amongst his. Xx

How's things?

You deserve better than this

you deserve so much better

Well he's given me all his passwords and stopped being secretive for now, in the meantime I'm waiting for an appointment for councilling, I know it will more than likely happen again so I feel like I'm just waiting for it but ignoring it until it happens, fingers crossed therapy will help 🤞🏼🤞🏼

So he's a cheat and a liar, but you are the one in turmoil and going to counselling? This is all wrong. I really hope the counselling helps you realise this.

What’s your goal for counselling OP?

Goal is to build my confidence and make me have a stronger positive mindset rather than overthinking everything like "I'll be fine I can be on my own" automatically my mind turns that into "you'll end up on your own forever and you'll have an accident at home one day and die because no one will try to contact you"