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Relationships

I think H has or is about to put tracker on my car

328 replies

PressToChange · 20/02/2020 21:12

I went in to Hs bedroom to put son's new Fitbit type watch on charge. Out of the cables I didn't know which but saw one had a label which said Trackisafe and a code.
I googled it. It's a mini tracking device. It needs two apps, the Trackisafe one and a V for Vodafone app.
We have Apple so I can see he has purchased both apps. I managed to get hold of his phone very briefly and he has downloaded and set up both apps. I couldn't get on there long enough to see maps.
I also found the box, opened it and the tracker isn't in the box.
I went out to the car while he was out saying I needed to get all the rubbish out if there. Lots of dc so easy to be true. I couldn't find anything.
It's half term and we are both at home.
From the date of app purchase a coupe of weeks ago, I'm guessing he either removed it before half term or will put it in after school starts again.
I cannot confront him as I don't have firm evidence. Plus I don't want him to know I can get on his phone.
Background is before Christmas in 2018 he hit me, I called police. He has a caution for assault. I now know I have been living in a controlling coercive marriage. (Not trying to down play. It's utterly shit. Just being factual to keep post as short as possible)
In Sept when I told him I was serious about divorce he cut me out of his bank account. Apparently we haven't needed a joint account I could just access his but no more.
At Christmas I told him I would endure it with him and then start divorce proceedings.
The Friday before I know he purchased the apps and most likely took delivery of the tracker I told him we have to draw this to a close. No one is happy etc. It is going to end up in divorce.
He is in COMPLETE denial.
I think he is a narcissist in the true clinical definition, I'm not just calling names.
I have a solicitor appointment booked for next week.
What do I do? What should I do? What is likely to happen to him because if I do find a tracker I won't touch it but will drive to the nearest police station. What if I never find a tracker I just strongly suspect it?
Please be kind. I know this is not right and needs to be over but because of the way he is have been doing baby steps trying to do things gently and safely rather than full on. I do not live in fear day to day but am concerned he could be volatile. He had had mental health issues too.

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WhatTiggersDoBest · 20/02/2020 21:35

Have you taken photos/screenshots of all the evidence, e.g. taken a photo with your phone of the app installed on his phone, take a screenshot of the page on your Apple account where he bought the app, get a photo or video of the tracker box and the fact it's empty inside. Send those pictures to someone you trust. Also send them to the police.