Am I being taken for a fool!

[keeptakingthepills]

Agh am irritated and having to hold it in. But am also hormonal so probably irrational.
So two things this week have f**cked me off with my DP.
So DP lives with me and my kids. My home I pay the bills and mortgage, internet, tv etc. I also pay the food bills. He throws in some cash now and again for food. His kids (2DC) stay every other weekend and one night a week. I feed them and cook and tidy for them. So far happy to do so.
But he’s been short of money lately and I’m the higher earner so I said don’t worry I’ll pay the food shopping. Then he tells me he accidentally gave his ex extra money this month as maintenance and then told her don’t worry you keep it. Telling me she needs it as doesn’t earn much and struggles to make ends meet. I’m thinking..great! So I’m basically subbing your ex and paying for your kids to be fed etc while they’re with me. He keeps telling me to stop turning the thermostat down as the house is cold but jeez I’m watching the bills go thru the roof!
Second thing that annoyed me is I worked all day. Then picked his kids up from his ex on my way home and walked in. He’s having a beer. I start getting his kids dinner. He’s doing nothing. I then ask if someone could pass me some plates so I can dish up. Instead he puts them on the table. No big deal so I say sorry can you pass them to me instead so I can dish up. He makes this massive arm flourish action passing me the plates. I say sorry is this a problem for you? He says you said set the table like I was being demanding! In my head I’m thinking you I’m getting your children dinner (mine are at their dads) and you are doing nothing and I just ask for plates and you act like I’m some diva. So I said sorry if it’s too much trouble to which he mutters away under his breath something about me being tired etc.
I’m
Just venting but honestly this last couple of weeks I’m thinking actually what do you bloody bring to the relationship? Obvs you’re only getting my side. I realise I’m being a bit over the top.

Do you know how you will behave in the morning? Got a plan? How will they be? What if he does the in person equivalent of laughing emoji face?

Well with all the money he saves by cocklodging surely he can afford a hotel for a night. I'd tell him to leave immediately

Just make sure he can't get to any money or any valuables if he goes

I agree that you shouldn't have left him in YOUR house.

Good luck 💐

Bloody hell, what an arse he is?!!!! CF! Really hope he buggers off in the morning

If you’ve got the money you should save it and take us all away (meaning I pay for him and his kids and go on one holiday rather than take my kids on 2 holidays on my own!) I actually can’t think he properly meant that and I’m hoping it was sour grapes and the beer talking

What an arse

So glad you are getting rid of this selfish man child

Op, you sound as though you're doing well and have found your feet post divorce. It's okay for someone not to match you financially but in that case they need to add to your life emotionally. He really took advantage of your kindness and couldn't be arsed to show gratitude. I'd just chalk this up to experience and I'm sure once he's out you'll find someone who actually adds to your life vs take take take.

Good luck op!
You sound amazing and he’s taken advantage.

Best of luck for today OP. We’ve all got your back and rooting for you! 🙂

Good luck today op. I hope you manage to get him out. Have you got any friends you can bring over for backup to make sure he can't talk you round?

You've got this, op.

I'm another one in support of changing locks.

Good luck for today OP.

Got home to not much action so I told him I’d help him pack as his kids still sleeping. Won’t take long. Then they can all leave together. Locksmith arriving later morning.
He looked shocked and sad. I just said it’s better this way and maybe he needed to stand on his own two feet and get himself sorted rather than relying on other people to be the grown up in his life.
Im sad but also feel slightly relieved. Trying not to cry in front of him. Have got couple girlfriends coming over this afternoon so I’m keeping myself busy.
What a week!
Actually feel like I’ve got my life back to where it should be. I love being with my kids just us and I’m going to just really enjoy my time with them and now I can do what I bloody like when I like and go on as many holidays as I like!

So pleased for you

Well done OP! You should be really proud of yourself, you’ve done so well.

Well done OP - onward and upward

Well done OP

OP you are a legend! He so needed a wake up call.

Oh and the house is fine. He may be many things but I knew he wouldn’t touch a thing in the house not with his kids there. And I have nothing of value to take! Sadly

And actually this may just be the making of him. He’s home from his wife’s house to his mates house to mine. He’s not had to take on the responsibility of running his own household, working and being a single parent. About time he found out. Maybe it’ll make him a better person for stepping up and his kids will definitely respect him for doing so.
I’m sure my kids will be totally fine and probably glad to get me and their home back to themselves.

He'll be starfishing waiting to grab your tits as a sop

What on earth does this mean?!

Anyway, lovely stuff OP. All done and dusted in the space a a couple of days. Very efficient

Well done! I think the fact that relief is one of your leading emotions here is very telling!

That is good news OP. You sound much more positive. Sounds like this will be a good move for both of you.

Happy it sorted out well for you, OP.