But why WOULD you get married? Its just a bit of paper, surely?

[fillyjonk]

Why does a day out in a frou frou frock and a bit of paper mean so much to people?

For me what is important is the
relationship, which is what you work at day to day.

I know there are some legal/financial implications to not getting married, though some of these CAN be overcome, and others are overplayed. But anyway, I am not getting the impression that they are a big deal for most people.

Am curious here, no criticism meant...

Marriage and Civil Partnerships are EXACTLY the same thing!

Exactly BohemianBint and BotBot - that's why I was so stressed - HATED everyone looking at me ... wanted to hide behind a pew ...

Love being married - loathed being centre of attention on day...

SP no, that is a view that extreme Roman Catholics might take but that's all

mp - I didn't say there would be a backlash, I said the politicians were scared of one. without foundation imo.

ROFL at the idea that marriage has tory connotations

Every single developed society on earth, has invented a form of what we would call marriage. It existed long before tories. And it will probably continue to exist, one way or another, long after, as long as human beings do.

I don't think the church DID lobby against gay marriage particularly - it wasn't really considered, so that civil partnerships could slip in without any fuss (which worked v. well)

DO they, aloha?

I know a LOT of gay people who would not choose to get married, mainly because it involves a symbol that for years has been denied to them.

I think a lot of gay people just want their relationship recognised, and don't want to go through loads of form filling and so on if their SO dies.

Which is all I want, tbh.

They are not EXACTLY the same thing Aloha

Just as a Mrs and a Ms is not EXACTLY the same thing

Just as saying God is "he" or God is "she" is not EXACTLY the same thing

Just as saying "Wife" and "Lover" is not EXACTLY the same thing

'I think a lot of gay people just want their relationship recognised, and don't want to go through loads of form filling and so on if their SO dies.

Which is all I want, tbh.'

Then you can get married.

not following mp.

are you saying that only roman catholics believe that marriage is more than the british historical version would imply?

you know university education has a terrible history of classism, sexism and arrogance. but I still went.

My DH and i got married in April this year after living together for nearly 19 years and having had 4 dc who are nearly 16 nearly 12, 3 and a year old.

I never ever wanted to get married but reading Yorkiegirls threads after her husband died made me think about the legal and financial implications of us not being married.

So it started off as being for very practical reasons and ended up being a very small, intimate, special day for us at Gretna Green.Our eldest son was our best man and younger son gave me away.We only had people we wanted there and getting married felt like the right thing to do.

we both feel different now,hard to say how exactly but i like the fact that we "belong" to each other properly.Sounds naff i know but i love him more now than i ever did and he feels the same. My dc also saw how special it was.

So it is actually much more than a peice of paper for us

oh jesus

YES marriage existed long before the tories

in fact, until very recently, in that same, age old marriage, it was perfectly legal to rape and beat your wife, and all her earning etc belonged to the husband. Until slightly less recently, said wife could not actually divorce her husband.

In the English form of marriage which has only existed since about the c18, yes.

But that's just one form practiced by one little section of humanity, which didn't last very long, isn't it. It's not what I'd define as marriage tbh.

only in the uk, FJ, that's the point.

Sorry SP I was being vague

Only Roman Catholics differentiate between a 'sacramental' marriage (in a church) and a non-sacramental (civil) marriage which is not in a church

Legally, marriage has very specific connotations outside of the religious sphere - where (as you rightly say) there are also very specific connotations

am not judging ANYONE.

I am just curious

I am bit suprised and upset at how this thread has gone, really. I AM married, but I think its making the best of a bloody bad situation.

Anyway...bathtime.

Church of England lobbied v strongly against gay marriage, actually.
Why not just get married Filly? You know you want to

and at the end of a civil partnership you get congratulated on being partners

that would rankle much less than being congratulated on being a wife

wife wife wife where's my therapist

well, why did YOU get married then?

and LB you are wrong re the english form of marriage, you mentioned biblical marriage, I KNOW about this, believe me, I have studied it in about 3 languages.

you wouldn't want one of those

But as I say-bathtime

Sorry, didn't realise you'd already jumped the broomstick!
It wasn't so bad, was it?

I got married in a las vegas wedding chapel. Not particularly romantic, but then that wasn't the point. We knew we wanted children, we both felt that it was important to marry before having children.

Am very glad that we did. Don't especially like being called a wife, nor saying that I have a husband (feel like I'm my mother IYSWIM - like I am too young and irresponsible for that). But l would not want for either of us to be financially or legally screwed if one of us died.

Have just asked dh what he feels about it - he said "why wouldn't you get married. If it's only a piece of paper (and a very important and helpful one if the worst comes to the worst), why wouldn't you do it?"

agree MP