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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Spook's wonderful new life

256 replies

anorak · 03/10/2004 10:20

Time for a change of title, I think. You have stopped moving away from sadness and are now moving towards happiness and a new life, spook!

More ups than downs now . What's the latest?

OP posts:
unicorn · 15/10/2004 23:26

spook- all I can add is please keep posting.

Your honesty is what life is all about.

spook · 16/10/2004 08:43

Good morning girls.Thanks for all your posts yesterday. I have woken up this morning and the fire in my belly has gone again!!I have had my coffee and my tablet (!) and now feel terrible at slamming the door in his face last night. He really did get a shock at the state of the house and I lost it AGAIN!! He just doesn't comprehend what it's like going through 11 years of a life in which you were once blissfully happy and putting it on a skip. So now I want to call him and explain and apologise. I do really love this bastard after all. By screaming like that I am just adding fuel to his "thank God I got out of that one" fire.
I am going to call him.

Beetroot · 16/10/2004 08:45

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unicorn · 16/10/2004 08:49

Please don't call him, You are in the right.
Leave him to stew.

ScummyMummy · 16/10/2004 08:50

Agree, please don't call him if you can possibly resist. At least give the coffee/tablet combo a bit of time to kick in.

moomina · 16/10/2004 08:50

Sorry, but I agree with Beety, spook. What happens if you call and he's still in a crappy mood - or she's there? Won't it just make you feel even worse? I know it's soooo hard when all you want to do is hear his voice, but....please take a deep breath and don't call.

Freckle · 16/10/2004 08:55

What on earth do you have to apologise for? He was the one who destroyed your previous life. All you have done is get rid of some of the physical detritus.

Don't apologise. It puts him in the right and he bl**dy well isn't.

WideWebWitch · 16/10/2004 09:09

Agree with both freckle's recent posts. DON'T call him. WEll done for sorting your life out.

WideWebWitch · 16/10/2004 09:09

and agree with everyone else, keep posting.

MummyToSteven · 16/10/2004 09:15

another vote for don't call him. don't spoil the simplicity of the statement of slamming the door on him. if you play the role of the strong woman who doesn't miss her ex for long enough, eventually you'll start to believe in it and it will stop being a role(not suggesting you're not a strong woman!) just that you do miss your ex a lot.

spook · 16/10/2004 09:17

I'm hearing you MNers. So far so good.haven't called him!! Think I'll do some hoovering then go to the beach with my mutt.I do SO want to call him though...I know.I'll do some more skip loading. Yes! Physical exertion is what I need. Thanks girls. I couldn't do it without you {{{{{{}}}}}
Jesus-it's absolutely PISSING DOWN in Newcastle. Will have to dig his kagool out of the skip!!!

charliecatthenonsmoker · 16/10/2004 09:19

Havent posted before, but it sounds like you are well on the way to removing him from your life but him actually seeing it with the skips and all knocked the wind out of his pants.
Well done you, dont call him and have a lovely weekend with your children!

Beccarollover · 16/10/2004 09:19

Dont call him hun - the word "sorry" will just add to his power and can only end up adding to your feeling of helplessness. Its certainly not going to empower you?

On the other skipping some more junk will do so concentrate on the things that you do have some control over.

HOW bad is the rain here?

ScummyMummy · 16/10/2004 09:20

at digging the kagool out of the skip. You go girl.

Freckle · 16/10/2004 09:20

LOL! Is this the mutt's kagool?

spook · 16/10/2004 09:24

No Freckle.He has a little hairy souwester.
You are all right and I will obey the oracle that is mumsnet.I promise you!!!
OK-I'm off to take a skip down memory lane...

unicorn · 16/10/2004 09:40

pheww.. close call!
If in doubt always consult the mumsnet oracle!!!

ggglimpopo · 16/10/2004 10:29

Message withdrawn

spook · 16/10/2004 10:36

Thanks ggglimpopo! God it's hard.I wish someone could tie my hands behind my back. I must admit-I have texted him this morning but only to ask if the boys are OK. They're with him. Aaaggghhh...Bit manic this morning.

Beetroot · 16/10/2004 11:51

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Original poster
anorak · 16/10/2004 12:46

Hi spook, and well done. You are so fantastically strong these days. Look back over the year and see how far you've travelled.

And now you turn around and look forward to your wonderful new life

OP posts:
spook · 16/10/2004 12:55

Hello Anorak!! I hope you're OK darling. Have a lovely weekend. My friend from London (yes THE one!!)is coming to stay. God - life doesn't get much better. Bit of pink champagne,best friend and the X-Factor. What will be REALLY interesting is if they meet when he drops the boys off later. Crikey-wouldn't that be interesting considering her last words to him were "you are a c**t and you're dead to me now"
(she doesn't normally use that word I hasten to add!)

Original poster
anorak · 16/10/2004 13:16

Girl power!!

I am feeling a bit down just had a big row with DD1. We arrived back from a night out last night to find she had gone out and the only message left with the babysitter was that she was staying at James's house. I met a boy called James when we were out shopping once months ago and that is it. No address, no phone number. I called her mobile and it was switched off. Had to phone Christie to get James' mob no and call James to get address and phone no at midnight.

Had a go at her when she came back and told her the minimum requirement is to have an address and phone no of where she is but she just laughed at me like I am an imbecile. I'm so upset and angry, she couldn't give a toss if she leaves us worrying all night

OP posts:
spook · 16/10/2004 13:19

Oh honey. She really does work her ticket that one doesn't she. If you can bring it in your heart I would try and stop worrying and give an outward show of "don't give a shit"ness. She'll soon start wondering why. Chin up XXXXXXXX

Beetroot · 16/10/2004 13:46

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