This is a red flag isn't it? I'm fuming

[duckingredflags]

I have been dating a man who lives close to me for the last couple of months, we are both early 20's. I live at home with parents and he has a flat 10 minutes up the road. He works nights and last night he mentioned he hadn't eaten before work so I offered to drop him some food off from McDonald's at around 10 o'clock as I drive and he doesn't. I turned up with the food and then on my way home I received messages saying I'd got his order wrong and detailing everything I'd got wrong, he'd asked for no ice in his drink and there was ice, I'd got the wrong sauce and his chips were cold. This got my back up as I'd driven all the way there for him and paid for it, so I snapped back that it was ungrateful to be complaining and he messaged back saying 'well, if you got the wrong food served to you in a restaurant and you were looking forward to it you wouldn't be happy would you ? I saw red at this point and responded 'well I'm not a fucking restaurant am i?' You should go yourself next time then. He responded with 'forget it'. I'm seriously considering ending things over this, I'm not being unreasonable and overreacting am I ?

ThisMustBeMyDream - I agree no-one need be rude. However, I think how you say you'd behave in similar circumstances is equally problematic. Most people who behave unreasonably don't have enough insight to see that what they are doing is, indeed, unreasonable.

Who cares what siblings he has? He thinks he's the Prince Anthony's the lucky serf .... Dump dump dump

FWIW if my boyfriend did this, I'd tell him so he could ring McDonalds for his money back.

HIS money? But he didn't pay for it, OP paid as well as delivering for free. So what he's complaining about is a gift, not something he's paid for himself.

@Allergictoironing - The poster of the message you've quoted is the opposite sex, so she's saying if her boyfriend did this, he could claim his money back.

He’s an arse.

Nobody has to be rude about it... quite clearly some are incapable of that.

Defending a prick like that is rude.

This would 100% put me off. It's ungrateful and childish behaviour. For someone to act this way it so off putting and immature.
Sounds like a 🔔🔚

ring McDonalds for his money back

I am howling laughing at the idea of ringing Maccie D's for your money back.

End it! He's spoilt and selfish.

Sounds like he's testing boundaries, to ascertain what level of shitty treatment you'll put up with. I'd take him at his word and forget it forever.

@ThisMustBeMyDream ring McDonald’s for your money back?! Seriously, over ice in your drink? I’m pretty sure every adult would just scoop it out. The only other issues were wrong sauce, and cold chips. Yeah it’s annoying, but McDonald’s chips are never hot when you get them home! What on earth would they refund you for and why would you bother You keep mentioning allergies, but she didn’t get him the wrong thing,,so it’s a non issue.

Op dump him. I bring dp McDonald’s home all the time. Sometimes there are minor mistakes, he wouldn’t whinge because he knows he can go get it himself. I know when you’re really hungry and it’s wrong it’s annoying but I wouldn’t dream of texting to complain. You did a nice thing He just sounds quite spoilt and controlling.

He can fuck right off

Yep, he's a loser.

That's not good.

Imagine if you lived together... the list would be endless, if he can pick so much wrong with an unexpected romantic lighthearted gesture!

It's up to you if you want to spell it out to him or not in a plain terms kind of way what's wrong with how he has behaved/responded, beyond what you've already said.

Sometimes people (or some men) like him put this sort of thing out early on, to see if the recipient can be easily manipulated. Sometimes it's a conscious move, sometimes it's subconscious. Sometimes they have been waited on hand and foot and don't know that other people aren't there to serve them. But whatever the reason, there's a tone of control in there which you would be very unwise to ignore, unless you want to spend your future time justifying or apologising for why you did this, that and the other not to his liking.

Entitled swine!!!

What a wanker! No, you're right. This won't be a one-off. Don't waste another moment of your time. xxx

Run Forrest, run!

Not being unreasonable...get rid. I would be fuming too

Who the hell does he think he is?! I can imagine some entitled diva saying this to their staff. Your instincts are spot on - red flag central going on with this one!

That his chips were cold is the best one.

Is he allergic to ice?

Do what he says. Forget about it. Him, actually.

Definitely a red flag. But even if he was a nice person, why would you be running around delivering food to a man late at night (or any time)? FTS! You’re a grown woman and worth more than that!

She challenged him on it, and he didn't think, oh yeh, sorry. He got annoyed with her.

THIS.

Entitled, disrespectful, rude, angry & controlling.
This is how abuse & coercive control start.
He is testing you OP, to see what you will take & how he can ramp up his demands & manipulation.
Mke sure you fail.

Have you sent the dump text yet? Have you told your dad?

"well, if you got the wrong food served to you in a restaurant and you were looking forward to it you wouldn't be happy would you ?"

"If you were in a resteraunt, you would have had to pay for it".

The basic manners of some are definitely lacking on here.
How mannerly is it to be such an entitled twit that you would -

feel let down at someone making a kind gesture and then expecting me to be grateful when I wouldn't or couldn't eat it

• when the kind person helping you has no control over the heat of the food, or whether ice cubes have been mistakenly added?

I'm a woman who would not feel grateful to someone supposedly doing me a kind gesture, and then actually expecting me to be gratfeul and return a gesture in the future

1. & you are taking issue with other people's 'rudeness'?
   You would not feel any gratitude for someone going out of their way to buy your dinner - because the chips were cold &, despite their request not to, the restaurant added ice to your drink? How is that their fault, & how does that change the kindness of their gesture?

2. OP wasn't expecting 'gratitude'. She was expecting not be be upbraided & sulked at for her kindness.

3. Where are you getting the impression she has expected any return favour?

It's no use changing the narrative to support your brattish expectations of servitude from other people @ThisMustBeMyDream. Other people can read.

It's nothing to do with him being a man.

If it was OP's next door neighbour who she decided to pick a Maccies up for, then CF neighbour started whining about the ice and sauce, everybody would still be saying they were being a fucker.

You wouldn't go out of your way to spend time with a CF, whoever it is.