Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I did make a slight mistake and maybe slept with him too soon... but it kind of just naturally happened so I hope it's not been a wham bam thank you mam kind of thing. We shall see.

No one else has really caught my eye but I might have a browse later

Have you ever thought someone looks hot on their photos and then real life is a disappointment?
I really thought this bloke was hot, been chatting for a week, FaceTimed last night. It’s not like he was a different man, just I think his photos aren’t bang up to date, and I’m disappointed, even though I’m no hotty myself! I’d named him Mr Hotty, but now I feel he needs to be Mr Notty Hotty. I don’t know what to do? He’s asked me in a date, but in know he fancies a snog (he’s very upfront) and I just don’t...
Mr shorty ended it because he wants full on and I have teenagers, and I don’t think he appreciated teenagers still need parenting. He wants to think about things and then meet for a drink. I’m finding myself obsessing over him, even though I was in agreement it wasn’t going anywhere. What the hell is wrong with me? What I miss with him is affection, someone actually touching me and I thought that could be anyone but now I know it’s not because I don’t want Mr NottyHotty
I think I need to stop looking as I’m very very confused!

@Dazedandconfused10 I don't think it matters if you slept with him quickly, if he likes you, you'll see him again.

Thanks for the personal grooming tips! Not that it matters to me at this stage obviously, I don't even have to shave my legs or get out of gym kit, the amount of action I'm seeing, or likely to see! @Ant330 I always thought it was 'strip' rather than 'stripe' though both work. I think I was associating it perhaps as in 'landing strip' for those who have been out of the game so long they forget where to put it

@HairyArsedMan glad your relationship is edging forward!

Mr Rugby is back in touch so date on Sunday looks on. I am not convinced I will fancy him, he is not my usual type, but he is so easy and straightforward in his chat and intentions compared to Mr Science (who I confess I am now stalking on Tinder and believe me he is on it a LOT as his location keeps changing. I still have not swiped right, though am thinking of doing so before he goes away and saying 'I see you have changed your surname and moved house, are you perhaps on the run from the police?' Or not, seeing as the consensus on here seems to swerve him as I already don't trust him, and I do listen to you lot.)

I have a few new irons (I am a massive fan of distraction tactics when I start feeling upset about something) but none I am convinced will last past a couple of days of chat so am not naming them.

I also have a girls night out on Friday (Valentine's outing for all us middle aged divorced and separated women) which should be fun. Drink and dancing will be involved. I always wonder if I might meet a man IRL but aside from the competition I'm going with there never are any! Lots of women or couples, no men. Probably the opposite of Fab should I ever get the courage to go there. (maybe the men are all on Fab and the women are all out dancing with me?) Impressed with how many of you found partners on Fab though.

@pomegranatefizz enjoy your date tomorrow with Mr Repeat, and fingers crossed for Mr Unavailable.

@Stuckinarut79 none of my dates snogged me apart from MrSexBloke who was just basically after a shag there and then, though Mr Media is the only one I saw twice and when he gave me a peck on the cheek after date 2, which was a great date in other respects, I concluded he wasn't interested in me, and he hasn't pushed for another date since and chats a lot less (though he is another one who is really, really busy IRL). I'm ok with it but I liked his friendship. And of course, even though I didn't fancy him, I am thinking I must be quite unattractive if he doesn't fancy me which is ridiculous as lots of people have a 'type'. But you sound like you definitely have chemistry going on, so 4th time lucky? Just don't take him anywhere with garlic!

Oh and @PerfectPretender can I just say I think you are doing brilliantly1

@Mylifestartstoday I had this. I matched with a guy, liked the look of his photos and chat was going ok but then he sent me a video of him playing guitar (I was learning at the time) and he looked quite different! Same guy and maybe just an unflattering video angle but I unmatched him!

@Mylifestartstoday PMSL at Mr Notty Hotty, that is the best iron name ever!!!

I had that with the original and now defunct Mr Media - he looked hot on his photos but was always smiling with his mouth closed, I met him for a drink and the minute he opened his mouth I got a) squeaky southern accent and b) awful goofy teeth. Spoiled the whole thing. My cousin always told me to look for at least one full smiling photo after she had a date with a man who looked hot on photos but turned out to have very few teeth at all. I abide by that now.

And yes, teenagers need parenting, and a lot of men (and my work) do not seem to understand that!

@Stillsexystillsingle sorry I knew someone had asked me a question, took a bit to find it! Yes I always took the initiative with my stbxh, no two autistic people are the same in the same way no two people are alike, but for me it was really difficult being with someone who was autistic and it’d be something I’d watch for in the future as a potential red flag for me, and I say that as a parent to an autistic daughter who I want to obviously be in a committed relationship one day, it’s hard, but I’m blinkered by a negative experience!

Seeing mr scenery again Sunday, he’s not sure on afternoon or evening yet, he’s stopping by on his way home from his parents, which as he’s said several times how much he enjoys a quiet, relaxed Sunday afternoon to himself to de-stress before the week, I’m again taking as a positive sign! I’ve no idea what to do with him, pub or be really brave and invite him to my house to see if that sorts the snogging issue, but I’m not sure I’m ready to have him here!

(mind you it possibly explains why so many men put 'own hair own teeth' on profiles doesn't it? Though I find that off-putting as the possession of some teeth is the very least I would expect as standard. They'll be adding 'two arms, two legs' as a selling point soon)

Oh god the teeth thing. It's become known among my friends that I only seem to date men with bad/no teeth. At least 5 of them. Never got past date 1!

@UtterSocks I’m another one who went out with a closed mouth smiler, his teeth were horrid and an unattractive accent/voice, put me right off!! So I’m also now more careful!
Whatever we do Sunday I will have to keep it garlic free that did make me laugh!

I'm noting the garlic issue ( no Italian meals) for Saturday!

So many men put own teeth, another bugbear of mine is loads of xxxxxx and also emojis on their profile bio!

Mr Ad doesn't like garlic so I am even more paranoid about eating it (although I love it!).

His photos were also all closed mouth and it turns out he is very self conscious about his teeth as he was one missing (not at the front but obvious when he smiles wide) but I don't see anything wrong with them. I'm also a closed mouth smiler due to years of being self conscious about my teeth. Even now I've had aligners to straighten them as an adult and am very happy with them, I am so used to closing my mouth for photos now that I barely have any of my teeth!

The teeth thing is making me laugh. I persuaded a guy who I was chatting to back in November to come to meet me on a night out. The second I saw him I knew I had made a massive mistake. He looked a bit like Laurence Llewellyn Bowen if he had had a wardrobe dropped on him from a great height.
Regarding photo, I was told to look at the worst one as that's usually closer to their proper look.

My teeth aren't perfectly straight but I flash them for photos as they aren't that bad that they put people off. Original Mr Media put me in mind of that episode of Family Guy where they become British and all immediately sprout random teeth.

@Onesmallstep67 your description made me laugh.
Mr Notty Hotty was the one who wanted selfies and I didn’t oblige and he calmed down, seemed ok, but he just mentioned them again and so I’ve had the perfect ‘in’ to subtlety drop him, stating compatibility....he’s not taken the hint. It’s going to be easier to get rid of a kidney than get rid of him!!

@bangheadhere40. When they put ‘no drama, crazy ex’s’. Makes me think their ex’s have had a right to be a tad crazy.
Why do men of a certain age (I’m thinking 50+) either look like a great granddad, or turned into a gym bunny?

@mylife exactly! I think I said before all the 'crazy exes' are in face normal and they are the common denominator. It's a red flag at the first sign of anyone saying their ex is a psycho etc....

I know! I normally go for 40's and very few I find attractive. The gym thing definitely, Mr Dumfries seems very sporty, and I'm just not....

The teeth thing is so weird. Brits are known in the US for bad teeth and I think that’s quite justified sadly, but for me there’s a difference between wonky teeth, which I find can be really endearing, and missing teeth which is just a no from me. My XH has beautiful, perfect teeth and flashes them a lot, so I’ve kind of gone off them as a look!

I had a date turn up without his false teeth. He did it to impress me! With hindsight I realised that I couldn't see his teeth on his photos.
Now I always look for smiling photos to see if they have teeth. Wonky teeth are ok, no teeth is definite no go.

I had a date turn up without his false teeth.

😲

How would not wearing your false teeth be impressive?!

I had invisalign a few years ago and I bleach them (not excessively like TOWIE), but I generally don’t smile. MrNN tried to get a photo of us all to send his parents before I visited, him smiling, MiniSJT smiling, me looking miserable, it’s taken ages to perfect this slapped arse expression!

Slapped arse expression Simon I love it! But that is why growing up with bad/wonky teeth is such a sad thing to me, it discourages people from smiling when they're adults, even if their teeth actually aren't that bad and they're perfectly happy.

I feel the need to clarify my date with bad teeth wasn’t so much wonky as green/black/brown not envy!!

@SimonJT I had Invisalign too-it was great. I now have a fixed wire retainer behind top and bottom teeth to stop the buggers moving back!

My date without teeth had had them knocked out doing a similar sport to mine.
He seemed to think I would find this macho. I just thought he was a twat! There was no second date.

@TigerDater Mine were wonky due to a rugby injury, they were straight before that. Where I’m from smiling is a sign of dishonesty.

@Sunshineandflipflops It’s good isn’t it, I use my final trays as a retainer at night. I was lucky, a dentist friend was able to do mine cheaply as while it’s cheaper than traintracks it’s still very expensive.