Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Mr Unavailable and the fallback girl is fascinating. I've definitely been the unavailable one in the past, and a fallback. Just never pictured myself as a fallback "girl"

@Mylifestartstoday YES!!!! My bloody ex who was so miserable he rarely left our house unless the bins needed taking down suddenly started going out every night when he left me and had a girlfriend (now a live in one) within weeks (despite being a miserable scruffy personality vacuum). Yet when I asked if he would have teenage DD round when I was working long days he said “yes, but not if you want to go out with your mates, don’t take the piss” 🤔 So it’s unsurprising I’ve waited until she’s at 6th Form to have a life at all, let alone venture on the apps. And yes, the men I have met - none of them have responsibilities like I do.

@HairyArsedMan no I was swiping because he set up a date for in a month’s time (seriously - he is going away for a bit!) and I was just not convinced it would happen as people go off the boil don’t they, despite us getting on so well on the phone. I wouldn’t care that he was online if a) he hadn’t made a point of telling me he’d come off and that’s why he unmatched me, and implying he was only on the one app (after all, I’m still hedging my bets, and I didn’t tell him I’d come off) and b) he wasn’t using clearly untrue information. I did think he was juggling me as he only messages about every other day and I’ve never actually met a man with no kids who seemed busier than me. I just don’t see why anyone would lie 🤷‍♀️

My friend messaged me and said ‘maybe he’s a psycho, make sure he sends you photos of his long holiday or else he might just actually be on remand - for back from holiday read out on license’ 😂😂😂. I don’t think you sound naive, you sound lovely, but I doubt Mr Science is worrying about me, he seems very self confident (and he is, annoyingly, very attractive)

I’m intrigued by how many of you are currently on, or met your irons on, Fab. Can we have a show of hands please, you brave souls? I have peeked in anonymously and got tons of terrifying message despite having no photos, no words, just a username. How do they know they would bang me from a fake name and a silhouette? I feel like Methuselah. I love reading your conversations on here but I’m often in awe. For example I didn’t realise men expect a bald fanny these days and would have no idea how to go about that either, so maybe my poor strike rate is a blessing 😂.

I have got a few new irons on Tinder but my heart isn’t in it. I’m feeling inclined to pessimism...

I started chatting to my main man on Fab and we realised we had a lot in common and he asked me out. Another confessed to liking hairy fannies. There are lots of chancers but I’ve found some to be much more straightforward and honest than many men on “normal” OLD!

I was on fab, very briefly, just a name, no photo, no profile. There was just something about how Mr GN and the other chap whose number I took expressed themselves that struck me, funny, very open and well-worded, happy to send a face pic, no dick pics. They were all strangely respectful though.

Not all men expect a bald fanny 😂

@UtterSocks I don't think all men expect a bald set of bits. It's more common now because of porn but do what you feel comfortable with rather than what any man wants. I'm sure by the time they are there, they won't be put off by anything!

No if I'm anything to go by there's not a lot that will put me off, like JeSuis used to say I've got far more important things running through my head the 1st time dtd 😂
Although I can remember my ex suddenly deciding to go bald for a holiday after having a strip (is it strip or stripe, strip makes me think of a plane landing) or triangle (can't remember which) and I loudly exclaimed that she looked like a teenage girl I was so surprised. Kind of ruined the mood 😂
MissH has a strip/stripe if that's of any help 🤷‍♂️

Home after an ok evening, I definitely really fancy him, but conversation dried up a couple of times and I think I was more tired than I realised and was struggling to think of something to keep the conversation going!
No snogging but I’m going with he did mention his pasta had a lot of garlic in it, it was a very definite cheek kiss no misinterpretation this time! So hopefully that’s all that got in the way! We’re seeing each other again Sunday, think that’ll be the deal breaker for me, if conversation is a struggle again it’s probably not got legs, but he really is good company and for me there’s definitely chemistry!

@Stuckinarut79 is this a third date with no kiss? Is he very shy?

@UtterSocks Yes it does smack of him saying what he thinks you want to hear. Perhaps he thought that was the show of interest required to keep you interested with the long wait until the next date. I would say that every other day messaging doesn’t seem inappropriate in the circumstances of not being able to meet for a while and avoiding conjuring up a virtual intimacy. But if he’s saying he can’t respond due to being busy, that’s far fetched as you point out.

Oh and as for blokes expecting bald fannies, it has never crossed my mind and has never figured in any blokey chat either. We’re too preoccupied with our expectations of your expectations along the same lines.

@TigerDater I’m happy with things but I’m not doing any shouting from the rooftops just yet, because once bitten and all that. I’d say we are manouvering gently over the cliff edge, rather than throwing ourselves off it. We may even meet twice in a week soon !

@Eesha yes third date, I don’t think he’s that shy! First date I kissed him on the cheek and I thought I saw a flicker of disappointment, second date I think he was heading for the lips but I turned my head, tonight it was very much cheek, as I was going to go lips!!! Would anyone go for a snog having just eaten a very garlicy meal when the other person didn’t? He’s just sent a text saying it was really lovely seeing me again so I don’t think it’s because he’s not interested!! But I think Sunday has to be the cut off, I’m not going on a fifth date with someone I’ve not snogged!!! (Feel free time remind me of these words!)

I wouldn’t eat a garlicy meal on a date

@UtterSocks I'm on Fab. Have been for about a year.
I have a tasteful cleavage photo as my profile picture. The number of messages drops off quickly after you're no longer the new person.
The best first dates are generally the ones I've had from fab. However, I haven't found a fwb yet, for various reasons. But that's mostly me being very fussy.

This weekend I'll be seeing Mr Too Far away for the third time. We're going out for a meal then back to his place. He asked if I wanted to stay over and if I did, what I'd like for breakfast. Potentially he will be a fwb from fab.

@UtterSocks

I have an iron (probably more than an iron actually) from Fab.
5 months next week...

My profile photo is my legs in a bath. All my photos are very tame and none show my face but I do send a face photo back if I like the look of someone.

The first few weeks you will be inundated and then it dries up a bit.
The ones sho message based on no information just want a quick hook up there and then.
Be warned, a lot are not single.

@stuck, long time with no song isn't it! I can't think why but he seems keen enough,just go for it when you see him again 😅

No snog, not song

I saw Mr Photography again last night. Went over to his flat and had a lovely chat before ending up in bed again. We both knew that would happen and it was really nice. Sometimes, as someone else said up the thread, you just need some physical contact and affection. This is likely to become a FWB rather than anything else. I can't see any potential for LTR, our lives are too different.
Talking to a new iron who lives an hour away but I feel a few warning lights flashing. I don't want to dismiss anyone solely on these things ( mental health, breakdown of family relationships ) I may meet him out of curiosity because other aspects of him I like.
Mr Cocky ( long term FWB) wants to come round tomorrow but DD who was dumped earlier in the week likely to be here so that may put pay to that. And if she wants my attention/support then naturally I will give it to her.

Not finding much time to go on Tinder. Just a couple of questions for anyone who uses it or knows the site

• what does a blue tick next to a message mean ?
• how do you know if someone is on the site at the time ? It seems sometimes I log on and immediately contacts message whereas I have no idea who is on line at any given the time

Please may I join? I'm dipping my toe back into the dating world. I split with ex at Christmas and whilst it might seem too soon to be dating again I think I'm ready.

I had 1 date a couple of weeks ago that was not to good. We didnt click in real life.

Has another date with Mr confident whom I met old and that was good. Very good. Hoping to see him again but also trying not to get my Hope's up or too invested which is a thing I am very guilty of.

Well fingers crossed my date with Mr Repeat is back on for tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it but not too much just in case he cancels again. If he does then I'll just leave it. I hope not though!

Talking to a few other irons, one I've been chatting to on and off for a few weeks, he asked me for a drink but then never actually formed anything up. I'm calling him Mr Unavailable which should remind me what not to do!

@Onesmallstep67 The blue tick just means the message has been sent. If you've got no signal and the message doesn't go through then it's red.

You can't see when someone's online or when they last were on tinder. Apparently they stopped that a few years ago!

@pomegranatefizz, thanks for the information. I kind of like the simplicity of Tinder. I think it's better not to know who's on there or when. Those kind of things add another layer of mind f##k.

@Dazedandconfused10, join the club, I can be guilty of over investing or over thinking about the potential of new relationships. It seems to be pretty common on here. I try really hard to adopt the philosophy that if they're interested they will pursue you or respond if you contact them. Waiting and wondering won't change the outcome and you can only control your own actions. I think it's natural though to build up your hopes if you have met someone you like. and as much as people say keep busy, focus on yourself sometimes that's not always easy to achieve, for me anyway