Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Aw @echoelephant go for it. I’m 5’1”, everyone is much taller than me (but like, it doesn’t matter from their basements 😂) You would think I could at least attract a short man with a height complex but no 😂🥺

I've just sent Mr Extremely Tall a jokey message.
And he thought it was serious. No idea how he could think that. So now I'll have to explain the joke.
I really don't think we are going to get on well. He just seems too serious for me.

@crazycatlady20 I would just mention the movie fest and ask if he wants to see the film with you.
I'm not one for hanging around waiting for someone to ask me. If I feel like the chat is going well then I'll ask about meeting.

@Jane1978xx he doesn’t seem the type to have those sort of friends, he’s in his late 40s and pretty serious. And I guess it’s his business what he does but it’s just so ... bizarre! Especially as I say I know exactly who he is IRL, we have people in common professionally 🤔

Aw and cheers @Ant330. My confidence is on the floor this week though and I keep second guessing myself, whereas usually I don’t overthink things to any extent, certainly not whether to message a random. It’s just everything is getting to me this week. How are you feeling? I feel ridiculous when people have real relationship dilemmas with people who they actually see IRL. Reminds me of when I was on maternity leave and lonely and hormonal and I cried because we ran out of nappy sacks - those moments when you listen to yourself and think “that’s it, I’m now mental, get a bloody grip”. In the scheme of things who cares if he’s a twat? (Except I do and I hate myself for it because it’s ridiculous)

You are being way too hard on yourself uttersocks. You feel what you feel, so don't invalidate your own feelings (that's what XHs are for lol). But it sounds like you also know this feeling will pass pretty sharpish, you just have to wallow for a bit then ride it out.

@UtterSocks it doesn't matter if the dilemma is at the start or months in does it, they're still hard work 🙄
Tbf this one is of my own making, so I'm ok and just going with it 😉
Yours isn't your doing, he's a dick, just up to you whether you choose to tell him. I'd just send him a screenshot with some laughing emojis, then block.

Ah thanks for the support ... @TigerDater you always sound like a wise woman so am glad you don't think I'm a dick! @Ant330 I like your approach ... but as I say, professional connections. The industry I'm in, you never know when you will have to see someone, or their colleagues (which is why it's so odd)

Hey all, I took a break from posting to try to process this breakup with Mr G. I was veering from sad to ok to sad again, and he keeps trying to contact me despite clearly ending things with him. He is continually upping the ante with emotional manipulation so I've had to block him. And then last night he emailed me from his work email, called me incorrigible (patronising or what) and tried to make me feel guilty again.

All he's succeeded in doing is put me off dating altogether! I have some single friends and we are planning a "galentines" party with fruity cocktails and no men. Looking forward to it!

I have not responded to any of his efforts to draw me into some sort of debate about the breakup, I don't want to talk about it. The further away I get from it, the more I recognise some seriously unpleasant behaviour masquerading as charming/loving/thoughtful. I'm not ready to date, clearly. And that's ok.

@uttersocks I think my approach would be to swipe right on him and say 'you didnt seriously swipe me on here with an old photo did you?'. See what he says. But more pointedly......If this isnt a mistake (the profile) I wouldn't ever date him. Playing games/lying is an instant no. It does not get better.

Also...as others have said it's important to recognise this is his character. It's not a way to judge your own value/feel not enough. It's a sting but place the judgement where it belongs

I don't want anyone to leave the thread This series of threads has always been helpful to me since I started OLD back in 2016. We all of us are just muddling through, doing the best we can, and none of us are experts, but we can maybe give a different opinion. I know I don't always listen

And I want to reiterate, for those who are struggling to find anyone they want to date, that fortune turns on a sixpence (pretty sure I've mixed my metaphors there!), and you just don't know what's going to happen in an hour, a day, a week .... I'd started concentrating on Fab in March last year, and spending less time on conventional sites as I wasn't finding anyone nice, when Mr BC (who searched Fab by looking at new verifications - like a review, for those who don't use Fab) and read a glowing veri of mine and liked what he read. We met as a Fab social, liked as well as fancied each other, and here we are 11 months later, in love 😍

Sorry @UtterSocks I missed that you knew him through work.

I agree. No one must leave. I don't contribute often but I read every day and I've learnt much. I finally got brave enough to try myself in December after following tips here. I met one guy
and we're having our first sleep over as I said on the other thread this weekend.
I've been so so looking forward to it, and my bloody bastard period is arriving!!!!!!!

Any ideas how to make this situation better? Anyone got any magic drying it up or stopping it solutions lol ?????
Or.....is period sex for a first hook up just to grim to consider.

Bah......I'm gutted

Just to clarify we've been on 5 dates, this was to be our first overnight and it's been so hard to arrange

@clovertoast the cap would work or you can get period sponges

Forgive my ignorance, but isn’t it just blood? Unless someone has a blood phobia for example would it really matter?

No one should feel they need to leave, we’ll never all agree with each other, but that shouldn’t be a negative thing. I sometimes read things on here and think “fucking hell thats nuts” I’m well aware that people probably think the same about me at times!

Just off to google what incorrigible means, and then will start to enlist in my vocabulary 😁

My only other thought is that he wanted to see if you were still on the apps @uttersocks

@perfect,oh! Best to block....emotionally manipulative.

@clovertoast ibuprofen can reduce blood flow. I think periods are a part of life and you are likely to be on one week out of 4. I wouldn't say anything until in the moment and then you can both agree what action to take. Together.

@UtterSocks he is obviously so arrogant he doesn't care what you think or might say to others about him, I'm sorry as it seems like you thought this could maybe be something, be civil when you see him around professionally but definitely don't date him

I’m another in the potential early stages of a Fab relationship. Unfortunately, after a great first date at the weekend (we kissed but didn’t have sex), I feel he’s pulled back a bit in terms of communication and now he’s postponed our next date because he’s busy. I’m surprising hurt by it and worried I’m going to get more hurt. I have a history of going for unavailable and/or abusive men but I haven’t liked someone so much for years

Thank you. I agree it is " just blood " but obviously I don't know if he'll think the same way.
I'll take the advice of waiting until the moment and then we can decide together.

I'm also bulk buying ibuprofen and googling period sponges !!!!!

*surprisingly hurt.
Unless it’s not obvious, I also have a history of getting involved too quickly but it seems to work for others. We’re both busy but I don’t want to wait 10-14 days between dates when we like each other and have said as much!