Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Dancerinthemoonlight Good luck! Hope the op goes well.

If you see anyone attractive working there, then I’d download happn and see if you can find them on there

@dancer good luck.

@cat genius idea!

That's a really good idea. I have re-downloaded bumble and having a little swipe to keep me occupied

Pof will also show you anyone in 0.5 miles so all the docs and nurses 😂

@dancer don't forget single men in the hospital having stuff done. This is perfect ground to find someone.😁

Good luck with the op @Dancerinthemoonlight and the swiping ! You'll need something or someone to keep you occupied in the coming weeks!

Always lovely to hear the success stories on here and the thoughtful advice and opinions that get shared in response to different situations.
@Clovertoast , as many others have said you have done nothing wrong. It's inevitable that some people we meet are going to have a bigger impact than others. And all you have done is believed that there was a good connection and you were responding. The feeling that he may have taken a step back isn't a pleasant one. At this stage people don't really know each other so what you lose when they go is the prospect of something great, the potential. And it can feel totally frustrating that you are back to square one. But that's where it started with every special person we know. Some days I am happy to keep bouncing back, other times it can feel deeply unfair if things don't progress.

Good luck dancer 💐

Went over to Mr Photography again yesterday evening. The sex got a bit more adventurous after previously only being missionary. We had a good chat about all sorts as usual. He's quite quirky and amusing. I am not falling for him and I can't see anyway in which our lives are compatible for anything long term/serious. But I am enjoying his company a lot. I guess the question is how long do I stick with this when I know it's not really what I thought I was looking for. Chatting to one or two other irons but not got a lot of time to go out and meet them. I am doing an amateur play and it's going to take up most of my spare time until the end of March. I will have a rethink then if Mr Photography is still on the scene.

Good luck @dancerinthemoonlight

Mr Coffee replied last night so I suggested another coffee. He’s been super busy at work but said “Yeah definitely” and suggested a day next week. So I’m cautiously optimistic but going to try and not get too excited like I did last time.

The reason I’m not actively looking for dates is that I’m only 6 months out of a really unhealthy 9 year relationship with my DC’s father and am having ongoing issues with him. I’m aware I need to do a lot of work on myself especially my self-esteem so trying not to have that be dependent on men!

I'm still waiting to go down. Spending my time swiping and talking. No dishy doctors or nurses unfortunately

This post sex hormone thing people have been talking about , how long does that last 😂 as in how long into a relationship? I’m a giddy wreck and I’m also hot and sweaty. I thought that was the menopause but maybe not 🙈. I’m in a situation now I’ve never been in , I’ve had v short term flings in the past or had men move in after a few months and had ltr (pre-kids). But now I have a 3 month bf I have no intentions of moving in with etc and it feels amazing. I just need the divorce papers signed then can go a bit more public lol

Good luck @Dancerinthemoonlight I'm a big fan of the distraction technique, post op swiping sounds good!

So I heard from Mr Repeat yesterday eve, first time since Sunday. A long and apologetic message with a breakdown of his crazy week (all plausible) and saying sorry for not being in touch, asking how I am.

I replied this morning and just kept it light. I'm pleased in one way but also really wary. I only want something casual but I also want respect and I'm not sure whether we're on the same page.

I'm out grabbing a coffee as I'm waiting for something and there's a couple next to me clearly on a first date. He has been talking animatedly for about half and hour and she's barely got a word in edgeways. I'm sure he's just nervous/excited but I can feel her pain from here!

I'm a little worried about these hormones ( at least since reading here I know it's normal) and I'm not just crazy, but still, in the back of my mind I know it will flick a switch.

Staying at his house tomorrow....and not sure if it would be silly to put off DTD if I want to because of the 'hormone / anxious' issue though.

Reading back, I might be best waiting....we shared a bed last weekend with no sex, so I think we can do it again. I need to be a bit more certain of him really. Reading other people's stories though, it seems that they can say anything and you can be as sure as you can be they mean well and then 'poof' they drop comms / vanish anyway, so may as well find out sooner rather than later!

@pomegranatefizz do you believe him? in all his crazy busy week a text only takes seconds. I would be cautious.....

Question - do you speak to your irons every day?

jane1978 I still feel giddy after a night/morning with Mr GN and it’s been a year. I’m delighted obviously but I don’t read too much into it, and I certainly don’t make any decisions when in that state. Basically I try to see him every other night, not on consecutive nights, so my brain doesn’t turn to complete mush. On the second day I think about things clearly. Long may it last!

@bangheadhere40 thats how I feel now. I wish I had waited although in fairness I wanted to sleep with him too!
I'm trying really hard to step back and wait but still no message today and I'm absolutely gutted.
In answer to @Dazedandconfused10 yes we text every day and had a chat every evening since our first date. However, since sleeping with him on Wednesday, nothing........
Everything I've read says dont contact him first but I'm sitting on my hands!!!

@TigerDater I feel like that the day before As well 🤦‍♀️

@clover sorry :-( Don't text him! - what a fine line between wanting to do something, and being 'self aware' that you have these pesky hormones! I am going to wait, or maybe even talk to him about him, if I can muster up the assertiveness!

@Dazedandconfused10 - current iron messages me about twice a day, not loads, sometimes leads into a conversation. I do initiate sometimes.

@Jane1978xx - do you feel something is wrong?

@jane, sorry I got the wrong person, ignore me!

@Jane1978xx it all sounds very lovely to me. It clearly works out sometimes thats great!

@Jane1978xx in that case, cold showers perhaps? 😂

@bangheadhere40 you’ve got to do what you want for you. I slept with mr g after an hour date and an hour into the next 🙈 but I wasn’t attached at that stage so if it ended it would have been fine. There is prob also a certain number of dates after which you should be certain they aren’t after one thing but it seems from what people have said that’s hard to predict