Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hello all,
I have been a bit quiet, having read all of the comments about moving too quickly etc I thought it better to hide a little as things really are moving swiftly for me
So, it is 2 -3 weeks since I met Mr Boat for the first time, and I can honestly say I have never felt like this before, ever, from the first couple of hours we spent together. I didn't think it was possible to have an instant connection like this..yet here I am feeling it. He is funny, thoughtful, tells crap jokes, listens, thinks and talks with depth, is gentle and strong all at once.
We have made plans for the Summer with our respective kids ( we aligned holiday dates) and I met his DS last night - we all cooked a meal and ate together at his.
Yes, it is really soon and I was wary about meeting his DS, but he talked it through with his ex and his DS, and we went ahead, and it was a really lovely evening, laid back and lots of laughter.
It feels 'right'.
(If I am being deluded, then I will look back on all of this with real happiness as it has shown me what I thought was impossible is, in fact, possible)

Hey ho, everyone! What happened to the rules? Tsk Disappear off for a relationship and the whole place goes to pot! :)

Anyway, why am I here? The great thing about life is that you never get too old for new experiences... just shy of 50, for the first time in my life, I knowingly got cheated on. Out of the blue, Ms. Aqua slept with her stbxh (or is he now?) last night, despite us seeing each other for 8 months.

Ho hum, back to the drawing board.

How is everybody?

@Undecidedsofa that seems so quick but numerous times I've seen here that when you know you know. Were you single a long time before?

@MrDrummer Nice to see you back but rubbish circumstances. Is it over and done with? Really sorry to hear that.

Oh hello @mrdrummer but I'm so sorry to hear that.

@Eesha
I know, it seems ridiculous! I split from my exh 6 years ago and had a 3 year relationship that ended last Summer - doing OLD since October.
I always thought it was a load of crap, but I do feel like I 'know'

Hey @MrDrummer Peanuthedz here. Sorry to see you back and sorry to hear the reasons. You know the thread is always here for an offload when you need one. You must be feeling pretty raw if it only happened yesterday.

@Undecidedsofa weren't you feeling really disillusioned just before you met him? Need a bit of hope that it can still happen even when you're jaded. (Although one would have to be actually dating for that to happen...) There are loads of stories like that in here. I think the moving-too-fast thing is when there's clearly a lot of baggage/red flags visible to outsiders.

@unambiguousbeard
I certainly was! I met some great guys who were lovely in their own way, but not 'right' for one reason or another - distance/different values/some physical attraction but not as much as I would hope for...and I was wondering if I was being too picky or being totally unrealistic in thinking that the 'right' person existed.
I can't see any red flags, apart from his terrible jokes...the only question mark I would have had on paper is that his DS is 11, my DD is 16 and I was kind of looking forward to having the teen years behind me...but it doesn't really bother me.
Any baggage I have has either been sorted, folded neatly, and put into storage, or incinerated in therapy .

Nice to see you back @MrDrummer but not under those circumstances, hope you're ok 😉

@unambiguousbeard @Notcoolmum @Eesha

Thank you for the warm welcome. I think it has to be over and done with. It's been a pretty rough ride, tbh, so it's probably for the best. If I had spilled the details out on the thread, then I am pretty sure I would have gotten 99 "what were you thinking?" messages.

Oh balls @MrDrummer - nice to 'see' you back but certainly not under those circumstances, hope you're ok

Oh crap MrDrummer

Is it deemed acceptable to go for coffee with one man and then drinks later with another? The coffee date is Mr Shorty who dumped me because we have nothing in common (we don’t, but the sex was great) and later a date with someone new. Does that make me a slapper or very fortunate considering my age?

@Mylifestartstoday I had 2 dates arranged on the day I met MrM! Afternoon and evening one - MrM was the evening one so had already had a date that day! It doesn't make you a slapper at all, if you're comfortable doing it then go ahead!

Sofa - that’s a good update, I’m glad dinner went well and it’s all going well.

I’ve binge watched blind love on Netflix, now that’s moving fast, stranger to walking down the aisle in 4 weeks! And proposals were made before they saw each other. I started watching laughing at them, screaming no you can possibly be in love at the telly, but I’m now rooting for a couple of them as yes somehow it feels right, while others are obvious train wrecks!!

@MrDrummer That’s shit. Sorry mate.

Wow MrDrummer that is rough, I’m so sorry. Was it totally out of the blue? It’s cassettes here.

Roll call: been seeing Mr GN for four days short of a year, met on Fab and we were twice weekly FWB until a month ago, when I finally succumbed to it being more. He is remarkably tenacious, has worked out my weak spots (oral, and being cooked for) and is bombarding me with both three nights a week. Probably no long-term future but I’ll most certainly take it for now 😍.

Morning everyone. Looking considerably brighter and calmer out of my window so hopefully it's the same for you wherever you are waking up this morning.
Saw Mr Photography last night for the 4th time in 8 days since meeting him. I'd had a pretty rubbish few days with all sorts of stuff happening. My 20 yr old DD was dumped after a year with her BF. My best friend's marriage has been going through some major problems which came to a head on Friday /Saturday and included me getting phone calls at 3am and a sequence of whatsapps. I find there is always a fine line to tread when getting involved in friends' relationship issues. Subsequently they have calmed down but it left me a bit drained. My long term FWB Mr Cocky got his decree nisi on Friday and for a variety of reasons our potential afternoon of passion didn't happen. And finally my ex messaged saying he'd met someone OLD but if I thought there was a chance we could resume our relationship he wouldn't pursue anything with this woman. That set my already frazzled mind working but I told him to go on the date as I was concerned about things failing again between us.
So when Mr Photography messaged to ask if I wanted to see his new photos from his London trip I decided I would. Picked him up from the train station in the city centre and took him home. Another lovely chat, some affection and more sex. 3rd time in a week. It was his birthday, which I knew, but he's pretty low key about a lot of stuff. I like him but somewhat amazingly for me I am feeling pretty chilled about him. I don't see anything evolving with him but right at the moment I am enjoying it for what it is.
Hope everyone's new week is starting well.

Morning all
Well after Saturdays drama I had a good chat with Mr Joiner.
TBF each time he enquired about cancelling I had always done the "yes, no worries, totally fine" thing which of course wasn't how I felt. So we talked it out, we know some more about each other's boundaries ... and he won't be cancelling on me again 😆
So we will see how things go ...
Of course in true dating style, just to add to the drama, the Married Ex decided to get in touch last night 🙄
Hadn't heard from him in about 6 weeks so thought he was gone but after 26 WhatsApp notifications and 16 missed calls I finally answered at midnight thinking something might be wrong ...
Of course it wasn't he was just drunk! But I got the extended version including 2 choruses of "I miss you" 8 verses of " I love you" and an encore of "you're the best I ever had" 🙄
So that was my weekend
As you were ....

@dancemom good on you for letting him know about the cancelling issues, it had been too many times, once is acceptable ( if a good reason), but wasn't it about 4 times???

Isn't it funny how they can just 'pop up' just as you think they are gone....I haven't had many do that tbf but I hear about it a lot. Think it's just an ego boost thing, but I would have assumed something was wrong as well.

@bangheadhere40 Saturday night was the third time .... there won't be a fourth!
Urgh I know, it's like they smell an opportunity 🙄

glad u got it sorted @dancemom.

I've had a pretty rubbish weekend. mr builder who said he wasnt splitting up to date is back on the apps after a week. none of my business, just wish he'd been honest. 🤷🏻‍♀️

mr driver seemed nice and we had a good phonecall last week but his messages are crap lol. sends a morning message but it literally just says 'morning' then one at night after work that say 'home' lol. ages between replies but hes online on POF. urgh he seemed nice and normal.

everyone on the apps seems to just want a hook up. or it's a good day of chat then they disappear.

Sorry @crazycatlady20 it's tough 🙁

So after a really lovely weekend, thoughtful valentine gifts, and a rare week night meet up coming up this week... I'm a bit 😬😟 rather than pulling up a cushion on the smitten bench.

It's definitely me. I think using the BF/GF terminology has freaked me out a bit too. He's not asking for any commitments or expressed any expectations. If anything he's too accommodating and seems to like me too much.

I'm trying to work out why. Maybe it's because it's time to work out what I'm doing, where this is going and if that's what I want right now.