Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Running tricky as he will like certain gear

Cycling tricky as he will like certain gear

Cooking could be a good route, some crafty places do things like make your own chopping board etc would he enjoy a cooking class in a favourite cuisine for example

Games computer or board or both?

Wine could be a good route, anywhere decent to do wine making/tasty somewhere localish? Or a sommelier type thing

You, your presence is better than presents, would you be able to find the time/funds for a day out, could be an activity, could ‘just’ be going somewhere nice for the day e.g the coast, new forest etc that sort of thing. I did a print screening workshop a while ago, that was quite good you could to wall prints, t-shirts etc.

I was supposed to go to Mr Too Far Away's house this evening. He's a potential FWB and it would've been the first time I'd been to his house.
Except my period decided to start today and when I told him he said he'd rather I didn't come over.

Not sure whether to be annoyed or relived because I don't want to go out in this weather.

@Stuckinarut79 I’m in bed eating pancakes, flats been cleaned, laundry has been done and MiniSJT has a new truck he’s playing with/bashing MrNN with. Boy did good!

@Onesmallstep67 don't think you have to be in your eyes perfect before you can be in a relationship to the right man you already will be perfect just as you are I think all of us who are adult males and females can only benefit by being in a healthy relationship however imperfect we might believe ourselves to be that's just how we're wired and being in a good relationship means you can set out to achieve your other goals together, like widening your social circle and so on

Urgh Mr Joiner last minute cancelled tonight. Technically the third time he's cancelled a date. He knows I changed my arrangements to organise tonight. And that I was making us dinner. I'm not impressed.

@dancemom

Does he have a decent reason? I would be really annoyed

The weather. Yes it's wild out but it's been like this all day so he could have cancelled earlier.
Took inspiration from posts earlier today on this thread and when he asked if I was annoyed I told him yes I was disappointed at the short notice.
Really annoyed and now feel guilty that dd is on a sleepover when she could be at home.
Some thinking to do tonight.

@Onesmallstep67

I think part of being an adult is just weighing up people’s flaws and if they are things you can live with and how much they bother you. Some people don’t like my flaws but someone else will. Flaws are completely normal, all of the imperfections and not usually universal unless it’s something awful like you are a criminal or never shower - something significantly big!
And I don’t think that all people are as intolerant or fussy as we imagine they might be.

I agree @Menora I think if you put off looking for love until the right time it may never be the right time ! The right person is someone you can be your best self with but you don't have to be your best self first in order to meet the right person

@stillsexystillsingle and @Menora thank you for your thoughtful responses. I actually feel quite happy with who I am although weight has always been an issue my whole life. Mr Print met me and loved me at my heaviest. So have others. I think what I actually am is lonely. Maybe I have listened to too much advice about go out and fill up your life, you don't need a man for that etc. I don't work, have few relatives around and a limited social circle. But even if I had a full life in other ways I have always preferred being in a relationship. I don't struggle to meet guys, certainly via OLD but not many have the potential to become LTR candidates. Lots of men my age, 52, want women who are through the child dependent years. And I have been pretty useless at leaving my daughters 20 and 15 to go off and do my own thing. Both have got used to having my attention. Maybe time to shift their expectations of me. I have taken being their only parent as being my number 1 priority, rarely ever doing something totally for me without feeling guilty.

Not engaged or pregnant! Just looking at the logistics of moving in together - I realise we've only been together just over 4 months and having read the end of the last thread made wonder if we're really moving too fast. I've looked at every single aspect of our relationship and nope, we're on the same page for everything. I have seriously found my soulmate (I realise what a cliche that sounds). My children have met him and they get on well, they can see that Mummy is happy and relaxed and in turn they are happy and relaxed. It really doesn't feel rushed at all - in fact, my whole family can see the difference in me as I'm back to my old self.

You sound really happy @KermitRulesOk.

@Peanutbuttermouth I'd go with wine. A nice bottle that you can share. Go to a fancy wine shop and ask for a recommendation. Maybe get some English sparkling wine. It's actually really good (we had some in s really fancy restaurant for my birthday and were very impressed).

@WooMaWang yep, I'm really happy! We've been together as long as you've been pregnant - 18 weeks! It makes sense both logistically and financially to move in together as he spends quite a few nights a week at mine anyway. We're inseparable and we've spoken about literally everything - we know each other's histories, our financial situations and quirks. My house is a 3 story thing which is huge so space isn't an issue. For the first time in a long time I'm actually excited for my future and that future is with MrM ☺️

Quick update from me as I’m on my way out to a speed dating night!

I had a nice date with Miss Haircut last night. Met in a local pub, then she hinted at going back to mine which we did, and dtd (first time I’ve been able to say this here ). She ended up staying the night too. I don’t think she’s looking for anything serious as she’s got a lot on her plate at the moment and said she doesn’t have much time free, but that suits me as while I enjoy spending time with her, she’s not “the one”.

Ok so I think that may have been a massively stupid thing to do. I mean sleeping with Mr U. I'm not sure I can actually handle any of it. I may need to offload a few things here later in the evening but I've got that sick distracted rejected feeling that seeps into everything. This is why I stopped dating. I cannot be doing with the negative emotions involved

@dancemom I honestly would never entertain someone again who cancelled on me often and at short notice especially not with kids and organising babysitters. This is the time of best behaviour......the very least you can ask of a person is courtesy and respect.

@TheCatWithTheHat how come 'not the one'? The busyness?

EchoElephant, I would be seriously pissed off and probably bin this man off for good.
I've no idea about fwb situations as I haven't had one but surely the friendship part is quite important?

@EchoElephant what kerkyra said. I wouldn't want to spend any time with someone who's only interest in me was purely as a walking vagina. Bet he's shit in bed

Actually I thought that as well @echoelephant. It's really rude.

I'm glad it's not just me that thought it was rude.
To be fair, I've met him twice for drinks and he wasn't what I expected from someone I'd met on Fab. Very considerate, not pushy in any way. We haven't even had a snog!

Our plan for the evening was food, movie and lots of sex (hopefully!). And I was porobably going to stay over.
He did say we could still do food & movie but I got the impression he wasn't that keen. And I couldn't stay over so I didn't fancy an hours drive each way in this weather.

What's the point in fwb if he doesn't actually act like a friend? I'd pass.

@WooMaWang huge congrats on the engagement!

@supercali77 It's hard to describe, but while it's really easy to talk to her, and we both fancy each other there's just something that's not quite there. I think if I hadn't met Miss Confusing then I'd probably be more positive, but she's my new benchmark and a hard one to match up to. I'm looking for someone who gives me that same feeling of being totally on the same level in so many areas.

In terms of her busyness, without going into too many details about her life she's got a lot going on with her previous ex, family and work. She's only recently just started dating again and from what she said she's not looking to jump into anything serious at the moment either.