Dating thread 184! Where we don't take any nonsense !

[bangheadhere40]

The Rules: 1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating. 2. Develop a thick skin. 3. Do not invest emotionally too soon. 4. It's all BS until it actually happens. 5. Trust your gut instinct. 6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault. 7. Know your worth. 8. If it's not fun, stop. 9. Loo update is mandatory. 10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy. Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps click here ** Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Clovertoast I'd leave it to him to get back in touch but all sounds weird that he happens to knock his teeth out the weekend he will be sleeping with you. Are you sure he isn't still married?

Yeah I am certain he isn't still married. I've seen some text messages back and forth that indicate that they are divorced and some other stuff.
I do find it that its this weekend.
He was distraught on the phone, didn't know what to do with himself. In pain and bleeding apparently. So he called his ex wife...

@crimsonlake I'm with you on that a man should be trying to impress you in the beginning if he's anyone worth taking seriously, and if he isn't trying to impress you at the start it's only going to get worse! Some of them have a really weird idea of what trying to impress you looks like! Like being married to someone else and so on ! @Clovertoast it sounds like he has a parent child relationship with his ex wife as so many men seem to with their wives, that's probably why she wised up and got rid. I would take a step back leave them to it and see what he does next. If he wants to be your man it's up to him to prove himself to you. You don't want to step into her shoes and just become another mother to him

Omg @clovertoast he went running back his ex when he's hurt? And what a sight he must have been. She must have been delighted this overgrown child called her on support in such a state. Just wow. Delete. Block. Thank your lucky stars you saw this early on.

@dancerinthemoonlight I assume you meant he didn't expect one person to do all the travelling. That sounds fair enough. Although I have realised I'm quite old fashioned on my dating expectations and expect more effort from a man. It's taken me a while to realise. But I'm ok with that.

@Notcoolmum that's exactly what I meant. I'm coming to realise what I expect from dating and how I want to be treated by a man. That is a more old fashion dating style.

Yeah clover it could be that parent child thing also familiarity. Sometimes people find that hard to break. But it’s not a bad thing if people can be civil do they have kids? I would prefer to hear exes still like each other rather than hate each other as it suggests they may be good people who just fell out of love? But I would have asked a friend before my ex probably!

Hes text to apologise again. Hes in the hospital, ex has left apparently.
Hes suggested he will need to sleep all afternoon so I guess that's it, we're off .
Ffs

Yes @Menora that's what I think. They have 50/50 custody of the kids so do talk.
Eurgh I don't know. Never mind.

Last night was fun, I’ve just got home as he’s gone to do a park run. Dinner and then went to his, didn’t stay out late and instead of just straight into sex all night we had some wine, put some music on and gave each other very cringy strip teases and general stupid messing around. We also tried shower sex but he’s too tall and the cold shower curtain kept sticking to us and we ended up abandoning it 😂. It looks sexy in the films but IRL not so much
I’m always glad to come home though, definitely like being in my own environment - I’ve missed my dog so much this week as I’ve been so busy so snuggles and film with DD2 and Ddog today!

@Clovertoast
How many teeth did he knock out? He probably needs to see an emergency dentist as well as find out why he fainted. I hope he’s ok

It is hard when exes appear close and I’m always a bit on the fence. In my head I would prefer people got along but the other part of you wonders if there are still any feelings. I don’t like to ask too many questions of Mr M and his ex, but he tells me bits and bobs and tells me outright he’s got no feelings but I know he still keeps his wedding ring in his car and it was only a few months ago he took it off.

Seems a bit harsh to block a person who has just had a nasty accident!

I wouldn't Block him because he had a nasty accident @TigerDater. I'd block him because he went running to his ex wife to look after him. Would you run to your ex in the same circumstances? I have friends and family I would go to for support. Or I'd manage on my own like I have with various trips to hospital as a single parent for my children.

And although I find my XH idiotic he is at heart a good person who I might call in a crisis like that because he would actually help me. Doesn’t mean there are ‘feelings’ as such. It’s not a bad thing for exes to get on surely, especially where there are DC?

I tittered at the shower sex thing menora. A wet shower curtain has to be the biggest turnoff in the world😱

Blocking is basically ghosting. I don’t see that this man has done anything that deserves such rudeness.

I didnt hear from Mr Confident yesterday. Did get lots of messages but none I'm interested in so wont pursue. Out tonight so will see if any IRL encounters happen, not holding out for anything though!

I'm not going to block him. I've text ti say I understand and I am reassured by some of you remaining on good terms with exes. Thats alien to me so may have clouded my judgement.
I think essentially I'm gutted. I was looking forward to a weekend where I'm an adult rather then mum and getting to know him better. The build up has been lovely .

Well. I'll watch and see what happens. He knows where I am and if genuinely ill and in pain with no front teeth I understand why he's cancelled!
I have to admit to myself its raised an with regards the ex . But that might be me.
Thanks all.

@clovertoast we’re the kids with him at the time ? If so makes sense he would call his ex wife. Also I think if I rang a few people and couldn’t get help I might ring me ex h. I wouldn’t see it as a reason to end or block but see what happens Over the next week or so

@Jane1978xx No it was his free weekend. Hence why I was going there.

@clover.....just throwing another opinion in the mix. His ex may for all we know work with teeth, or have had experience of ' teeth knocking out' before. I wouldn't be bothered he took him, but would struggle with

'She will know what to do' , sounds a bit like a parent / child relationship, if there isn't any huge backstory that she's in fact a dentist or the like!

I had a lovely night with Mr Repeat, dinner and a couple of drinks. We slept together which I'm now not sure how I feel about.

I wouldn't usually have invited him back or slept with him on a "first" date but because we knew each other years ago and have already had sex it just felt quite natural. And I won't lie I haven't had sex since splitting from my ex and we were together 7 years so I really wanted to!

It was really nice, and it was nice if weird to have another man in my bed. And good this morning when we had sex again and he made tea and washed up the glasses and cleaned the kitchen!

BUT although I'm not looking for anything heavy, I'm still technically married and it's only been 4 months, I have those post sex feels of "oh I do quite like him and I hope it wasn't a one off" so we'll see.

Hmmmm. Hard one. Don't jump yet @Clovertoast i might call on my ex although I wouldn't for that as he was horrible when we were together if I was Ill. My car failed to start recently and I called him because he's round the corner and can jump me. I mean I could have asked the neighbours or something. He was with his gf so I guess she might have found it weird. I've also spoken to him a lot about stuff with my mum because he knows her and I don't have any friends that do. I mean we split up but we do have a shared history. If he was too shaken up to drive who else could he call? And it's not like she's waiting with him at hospital is it? She's clearly dropped him and left.

@bangheadhere40 ohhhhhhh. She does have contacts. He told me what she did on our first date
I'd forgotten that.

I will have to update tonight / tomorrow about Mr Dumfries. It looks like the trains may be cancelled due to the storm, we don't know yet, but he did say he's driving down if so.

Planned for afternoon drinks and mentioned cocktails, so if he lands up in the car I'm going to say he can stay in the spare room. If the train then will give it a couple of hours to decide.

It's a little awkward as he must be wondering if he's staying but doesn't want to ask. If I want him to it's probably up to me to offer, he's not going to ask or assume i don't think, he seems too polite for that.

I would feel better just sending a text saying he can stay if he wants in the spare room, but what if he's not expecting that at all and he knocks me back!?!?

Mr U has just left after the most incredible sex. The whole thing was lovely we just spotted straight back in as though we'd not been split up for 5 months. I'm still in love with him and I'd say the feelings mutual. I know it is. No idea what happens now. I said to him something along the lines of we can't have a relationship but we can still see each other. He agreed. And it's true, it's ridiculous trying to be together. But we can still see each other. Neither of us can really have a relationship with anyone else at the moment either. I'm going over to his business now. His colleagues will smell the sex between us. No idea what happens now