I initiated a report into historical sexual abuse when i was a minor. I confess I was a bit tipsy the first time I called. So much had been in the news and I was reliving and going over it so much. The only thing that got me to call was 'what if' he carried on, what if someone else has made a report and my reporting would back up theirs. I didn't expect anything to be done about the abuse I suffered but worried that someone else could benefit from me adding to the picture.
The man who abused me was known to the police at the time and even visited my parents home and encouraged me to press charges (I was 14/15 at the time) and one of the officers who came was invested because this man had been in a 'relationship' with his daughter in the past.
It was bizarre talking about something from so long ago with the voice of a middle aged woman who is pretty capable and intelligent trying to explain the experience of a kid who was totally out of her depth.
The first person I was referred to was excellent - really understanding, gave hints that he knew of the person in question (whilst remaining professional) and made me feel believed and like I wasn't wasting their time. I explained that I didn't want to take action for me but felt obliged to report in case he was still offending or my report could help someone else's case. He was honestly grate and obviously well trained and made clear everything could be at my own pace and he would look into things and get back to me and it was all confidential etc.
Anyway a few days later random police turned up at my door at end of school time and said they wanted to talk to me - I was like whoah this is not a good time my son is due home and why have you just turned up here like this. They kind of bullied me into letting them in (as opposed to the neighbours hearing this stuff) and then tried to tell me because I'd made a report I had to go and give video evidence and do x, y and z. They seemed to know no detail and were officious and distressing and eventually I had to make them leave because I was worried about my son coming home. I was so disturbed with them that I was like just forget i called etc and they were trying to make out that couldn't be done and you couldn't just report something and then not take action or come in and have a video interview.
A couple of days later the original officer called me and I told him what had happened with the other officers and he was really apologetic and nice and it seems like it came up on the system that I needed following up and he wasn't in that day so it was randomly assigned to the pair who came to me. He came to see me briefly and unofficially told me roughly where this man was now living (a long way away) and that there were no active investigations or things that I could contribute to.
He made very clear that he believed me, and unprofessional as maybe some will think it, that this man was historically known to them. He spelled out what my options were and I made very clear that unless it was to help an existing case I couldn't see any point in putting myself through harrowing stuff only to be told it was too long ago, no evidence etc. He was understanding of that but emphasised that if i ever changed my mind I could come back to them.
Sorry long story and mostly off topic but my point is that i think the police are very hit and miss like most institutions. If it was all like him that's one thing but the colleagues who came and were rude and incensitive and treated me like a criminal were another entirely.
I think it's also clear from what i've said (if you've managed to read all that) that for me there was no point in dredging and reliving it all unless it was going to have an impact on someone else's safety or need for justice or for protecting people in the present.
Regardless of what it should be the justice system is brutal for victims of abuse and prosecution rates are tiny and conviction rates shrinkingly small. If no one else is in danger I personally think it's worth protecting yourself from that.
I don't think anyone else has mentioned it but really, terrifying as it may be, the real people needing to be confronted are your parents. Have you considered confronting them?