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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP says I'm 'moody' all the time

172 replies

CheshireCat20 · 05/02/2020 16:02

I've been with DP 4 years. 2 kids each, we don't live together. I work full time, and all kids have extra curricular activities. DP has a habit of going silent / ignoring me when we have an argument. It doesn't even have to be a serious one, sometimes I won't hear from him for a few days. This doesn't happen a lot though.

I very much feel like I have to 'fit in' with DP's and his kids schedule even though me and my kids have our own. I end up not seeing him that much really - a few hours twice a week before we fall asleep, maybe a little bit more every other weekend. Every now and again we have a bit more time together.

DP says I'm moody 'all the time', and it's draining the life out of him. I'm not moody - I'm tired. I don't snap etc. By the time he comes over at 8/9pm in the evening I'm pretty much done in by work, kids activities, bed time routine etc.

DP 'picks' at me quite a lot - 'Oh we're watching THAT on TV tonight are we?', 'I really feel like a hot drink now, I wonder who can make it for me', 'Why are you falling asleep already?' 'Can I have snack?' (then he helps himself to half the contents of the kitchen). And yes I do get defensive.

He came over last night, 9pm, I was nearly asleep, he's had a go at me saying I am moody ALL the time and I need to sort it out, then rolled over and gone to sleep. I've not heard a word from him today. What makes it worse is that an elderly family member (not my mum/dad) is having an operation today that we've been warned they may not wake up from. He knows I'm really worried and it's been radio silence all day. I did text him earlier to ask how he was, he's just replied saying not good because he's fed up of my moods. Nothing about the operation etc.

Am I being unreasonable here to think that considering we didn't even have a big argument last night it's pretty awful he's not asked about my family member? I don't actually see anything that I've done wrong. I put up with feeling like I'm bottom of his list all the time and I guess this really proves my theory Sad

OP posts:
Whatifitallgoesright · 06/02/2020 00:08

When you don't agree he is right he says you're moody? And sulks. And is not into sex.

CheshireCat20 · 06/02/2020 07:57

Yes I guess on some of the occasions he says I'm moody is when I don't agree with him Confused

I've still not heard from him

OP posts:
cheeseaddict420 · 06/02/2020 08:04

Omg please just dump this man he sounds awful and like he actually enjoys picking you. Honestly just end it with him and focus on you and your kids

Witchofthenorth · 06/02/2020 08:10

I think he has done you a favour tbh by not contacting you. Listen to his silence, he is telling you exactly who he is and is punishing you for not being all sweetness and light when he is around.

Seriously, rethink this relationship, I would be telling him he can stay away.

Dozer · 06/02/2020 08:15

From your description of your life you have v limited time and energy for dating/socialising OP. You’re wasting it with this one.

Your best option is to dump by text and organise some nice things to do for your weekends.

AnuvvaMuvva · 06/02/2020 08:18

Honestly, nice, normal men don't act like this. You've unfortunately saddled yourself with a selfish, uncaring twunt.

I'd just never text him. He'll wait for ages for you to run round after him wanting to "make up" for the other night. So just don't bother. When he runs out of food or fancies a shag, he might contact you. At which point you say, "You call me moody and I've realised you're right - being with you makes me incredibly moody. So I don't want to see you anymore. Bye."

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/02/2020 08:20

CheshireCat

I hope your grandad goes onto make a full recovery.

Getting back to you, what did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. How is it that such an emotionally abusive opportunist who will never pass up any opportunity to put you down got a foothold into your life in the first place?.

Please value yourself more here; unpick all the crap and nonsense you learnt about relationships along the way. I would also suggest you enrol yourself onto the Freedom Programme when you have ditched this bloke who has dragged you down with him. I would also think your own children cannot abide him at all either and wonder what you see in him. You would not I daresay at all want your children to date someone like this so why has he been good enough for you to see?.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 06/02/2020 08:22

Do not JADE him so no further justifying, arguing, defending or explaining. He is not worthy of being dumped by any other method other than text and block.

LizzieSiddal · 06/02/2020 08:23

Hope your Grandad is ok.

As far as this boyfriend is concerned, get rid of him.

He’s not enhancing your life one bit. He’s only adding to your stress. And for him not to ask how your grandad is, is frankly unforgivable.

Sidge · 06/02/2020 08:31

Marie Kondo this petulant arsehole.

He adds nothing to your life and doesn’t like or respect you.

Sack him off and be done with the emotionally draining sulky twat.

OldEvilOwl · 06/02/2020 08:42

Don't text him. See how long it takes before he messages you. Then tell him to piss off

Blanca87 · 06/02/2020 08:51

Just bin him, you have more important things going on than this drama.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 06/02/2020 08:58

Run! Forest Run!

CheshireCat20 · 06/02/2020 09:07

We're due to be going away this weekend too! I've not text him. Not too sure how we can come back from this

OP posts:
BlueHarry · 06/02/2020 09:09

Dump him. Sounds way more trouble than he's worth.

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 06/02/2020 09:11

so don't!

make a positive change in your life.

i'm almost certain it will have a positive effect on your children's lives as well!

mummmy2017 · 06/02/2020 09:11

Your not allowed to watch a film!
He expects you to always wait on him!
What does he do for you?

hellsbellsmelons · 06/02/2020 09:12

Well I'm hoping YOU won't want to come back from this OP.
It's unanimous.
He's a fun-sucking cunt!
Ditch him and focus on your family.
He is not worth another second of your time!

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 06/02/2020 09:14

OP, people on this website have asked about your grandad, because they care. Your supposed partner hasn't bothered. Into the bin with him.

I hope your grandad is OK, and you too Flowers

allthedamnvampires · 06/02/2020 09:14

OP you're dealing with your poor granddad and he decides now is the time to up the ante on his awful behaviour by not contacting you?!

Please dump him!

WhitePhantom · 06/02/2020 09:15

You come back from it by moving on from him. Up up and away. He doesn't get to come back from it. Prick.

I hope your grandad is doing OK.

Tatiannatomasina · 06/02/2020 09:17

Joy sucking, selfish, dick head. Please end it, you deserve some one who will lift you up, not grind you down.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 06/02/2020 09:24

I genuinely woke up this morning and one of the first things I though was "oh I hope @CheshireCat20's grandad had a good night."

I don't know you and I don't know him. But you were on my mind. If you can't get that from your partner of 4 years I fear you're fighting a losing battle.

champagneandfromage50 · 06/02/2020 09:25

So he knows your grandfather is having surgery, had a go at you, had left and not contacted you. So instead of him supporting you he has left you worrying about him than your relative..... he isn't very nice and whilst you may have convinced yourself that you have fun sometimes it sounds truly draining- he has shown you who he is now that you actually need support

slipperywhensparticus · 06/02/2020 09:30

I hope your grandad pulls through for you, personally i would block him and focus on your family at this time

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