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Original poster

DP says I'm 'moody' all the time

172 replies

CheshireCat20 · 05/02/2020 16:02

I've been with DP 4 years. 2 kids each, we don't live together. I work full time, and all kids have extra curricular activities. DP has a habit of going silent / ignoring me when we have an argument. It doesn't even have to be a serious one, sometimes I won't hear from him for a few days. This doesn't happen a lot though.

I very much feel like I have to 'fit in' with DP's and his kids schedule even though me and my kids have our own. I end up not seeing him that much really - a few hours twice a week before we fall asleep, maybe a little bit more every other weekend. Every now and again we have a bit more time together.

DP says I'm moody 'all the time', and it's draining the life out of him. I'm not moody - I'm tired. I don't snap etc. By the time he comes over at 8/9pm in the evening I'm pretty much done in by work, kids activities, bed time routine etc.

DP 'picks' at me quite a lot - 'Oh we're watching THAT on TV tonight are we?', 'I really feel like a hot drink now, I wonder who can make it for me', 'Why are you falling asleep already?' 'Can I have snack?' (then he helps himself to half the contents of the kitchen). And yes I do get defensive.

He came over last night, 9pm, I was nearly asleep, he's had a go at me saying I am moody ALL the time and I need to sort it out, then rolled over and gone to sleep. I've not heard a word from him today. What makes it worse is that an elderly family member (not my mum/dad) is having an operation today that we've been warned they may not wake up from. He knows I'm really worried and it's been radio silence all day. I did text him earlier to ask how he was, he's just replied saying not good because he's fed up of my moods. Nothing about the operation etc.

Am I being unreasonable here to think that considering we didn't even have a big argument last night it's pretty awful he's not asked about my family member? I don't actually see anything that I've done wrong. I put up with feeling like I'm bottom of his list all the time and I guess this really proves my theory Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
CheshireCat20 · 05/02/2020 16:58

@PrinkingPreening I never looked at it that way Sad

OP posts:
TorkTorkBam · 05/02/2020 16:59

I wouldn't give any fucks about why he said it. I'd just bin him for being too incompatible with me.

Why do you bother having any contact with him in the week? If the fun bit is going out on a Saturday for dinner then having some excellent sex, or whatever it is that is such good fun, then just do those bits and drop the rest of the contact. You are only dating so why not?

KarenW · 05/02/2020 17:00

I second prinkingPreening!!!

mbosnz · 05/02/2020 17:00

I really hope that his appallingly selfish, and callous behaviour in treating you in this manner when he knows the sad and stressful situation you're dealing with today is the final straw, and that you tell the arrogant little so and so to rack the hell off.

KarenW · 05/02/2020 17:01

That is no way to live your life. You deserve support, sensitivity and security, not shameless selfishness and shit!!

dustibooks · 05/02/2020 17:01

You're not a performing seal.

Tell him to fuck off.

Smile
iklboo · 05/02/2020 17:02

'I really feel like a hot drink now, I wonder who can make it for me',

'The Do It Your Fucking Self Fairy. They can make me one as well while they're at it.'

Mintjulia · 05/02/2020 17:02

I had one of those. I work full time, have sole charge of ds, school run, homeowrk etc. He complained because I was tired in the evening, but it never occurred to him to cook or get a takeaway. He expected to turn up and get lots of attention - all “look at me, here I am”. Once I fell asleep doing bedtime routine and he went spare. Hmm

For me, it wasn’t worth the stress

Original poster
CheshireCat20 · 05/02/2020 17:05

@Mintjulia Yes that sounds very familiar.

When's he's at mine he won't watch anything unless it's reviews are 8/10 or more (there's a website a bit like trip advisor but for tv/film). He has to check before starting to watch. I wanted to watch something that was a 6/10 last night and argued back when he said no, I think that's what might have started the 'you're in a mood, yet again' thing...

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 05/02/2020 17:09

Treat yourself... spring clean him Grin

NotAPan · 05/02/2020 17:30

He doesn't sound like he enhances your life.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 05/02/2020 17:34

Aw seriously OP just scrap him. You hardly see him, no kids together, not living together, and he's clearly a twat no matter how much "fun" he is when he's not being a twat. It doesn't sound like he enhances your life much. Lots of men are fun without the side helping of water torture by nitpicking. Well, maybe not "lots", but that's OK, you don't have to date men. Think how peaceful your life could be without one dragging you down...

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 05/02/2020 17:38

Improve your mood permanently and end it with this selfish, demanding whingebag.

SharkAttack1972 · 05/02/2020 18:06

The fact that he comes round at 8 or 9 at night would be a no for me. He sounds like he's coming for easy sex . Find someone new xx

StormTreader · 05/02/2020 18:06

Every time he says you're moody, say "well you won't want to be around a moody person! I guess we'll have to try another time." and FIRMLY pack him off home.

Let's see how long his moaning lasts when it leaves him back on your cold doorstep confused with how he's there and not on your nice sofa being brought drinks and snacks by the staff.

Dunin · 05/02/2020 18:22

What he means when he says “you’re moody” is “you’re not paying me enough attention and making me feel like a superhero” he’s an utter selfish prick. And now you know why he was single when you met him.

Do yourself a favour and get rid of this loser.

AnneKipanki · 05/02/2020 18:27

Your options are
1 Do not see him during the week
2 Stop seeing him
3 Keep things as they are

Option 3 is not good.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/02/2020 18:30

So you being in a mood is basically you just not doing as you're told/pandering to him?

I'd tell him to get to fuck.

Especially as he hasn't bothered to contact you today. What an arsehole.

aroundtheworldyet · 05/02/2020 18:34

The second must be fucking amazing.

Just say to him you’re happy for him to be a FWB. Maybe come over once a week when you’re feeling up for it and vice versa
And leave it at that.

This is not really a relationship

aroundtheworldyet · 05/02/2020 18:34

The SEX must be amazing not
Second. Aaah

Original poster
CheshireCat20 · 05/02/2020 18:37

To be honest he doesn't seem massively bothered about sex!

I'm gutted he's not asked about my grandad. Total silence Sad

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/02/2020 18:38

Honestly I'd end it today. He doesn't sound like he gives much of a shit about you. He wants a skivvy when it suits him.

litterbird · 05/02/2020 18:39

This isn't a nice relationship at all, best find someone that actually is nice to you and respects you.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/02/2020 18:40

Is there any news on your grandad though, OP? I hope he's ok x

YouCannotBeeSerious · 05/02/2020 18:41

Sounds like you get sweet fa from each other...

End it