Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@bangheadhere40 👊 post here rather than message him.

@unambiguous I really don't want to bore you all 😅😅😅

@unambiguous I really don't want to bore you all 😅😅😅

But feeling better so thanks! Onwards and upwards...

@saltysally epilator is great. And yes trim the hair on the bikini line before using or dont let other hair grow too long and it's fine. Plus.....hair eventually doesnt bother growing back 😅

banghead I'd rather you said it here than validated another time wasting fence sitter

@Supercalli love the description, very true.

Hello all I've been reading the threads and although you dont know me I feel like I know you all.
Would love to join because basically I have no idea what I'm doing with OLD.

I'm a year out of a 25 year marriage and last Sunday had my first EVER date. Exdh and I were 6th formers when we met so I've never dated or been with anyone else .

The date went well, we've been talking on and off on WhatsApp since December. he seems very nice, funny, polite and considerate. Says he likes me. Went to kiss me when he dropped me off and I turned my head so he got my cheek ! .
I've so regretted that since.
We're meeting again tomorrow but I had to ask him and I'm wondering if hes losing interest.
Plus I'm terrified!!!
Any tips for getting my confidence up after 25 years ? I'm 45 !!

You can do this. You aren't too old or past it or whatever else you might think. So many people are in your position, just pretend you know what you're doing, follow the very wise rules here and go have fun!

I've always approached dating with the attitude of just having fun, which is probably why I've ended it so quickly when Mr G showed red flags. Whether that's the right or wrong attitude is up to each person but despite the gin in me right now I know it was right for me.

I wish I didn't feel guilty or hurt his feelings though. That part sucks.

Go like it’s a meeting with a friend and just have fun.

Thanks @supercali77. I was impressed at the ease. For reasons I don't know it's my legs I hate shaving the most so that they were quick is a massive bonus.

This is hilarious
sazoo.org/valentine/

It's called Cry me a cockroach or rat
A few exes on here more than than qualify

I don't have to shave forevermore if I don't want to!!!

Wooooohooooooo

This cockless bench is so COMFY

Someone else on the thread has a child with additional needs, don't they? I'd appreciate a PM conversation about how you deal with dating, irons' responses to the situation etc. Thanks so much!

@Onesmallstep67 I'm 52, live in a smallish city. I've found the over 50s to be boring, don't know how to look after themselves, don't know how to talk to women and they expect me to be their entertainment.
My magic age seems to be 42. Most of my Tinder matches are that age. They know how to dress well, can write a decent message and have a laugh.

What's really depressing is that there's a few of us of around 50 all with (presumably!) different tastes and interests yet we all seem to think the same about our male peers. I guess the good ones get snapped up quickly.

Checking back in, I only posted once on the old thread and lost track but enjoyed reading what everyone was up to.

I'm going to do the right things and give my irons names:

Mr Unreadable: quite a few good chats, asked me for a drink moved onto FB from tinder, few more chats but no suggestion of when this actual drink might be. Lots of chat about how busy he is at work...hmm

Mr Repeat: Matched with a guy that I had a brief fling with nearly a decade ago! We've had some good chats and are meeting next week. Although obviously as per the rules we'll see if it actually happens.

Mr Too Young: Way too young, but very fun. We'll see!

Mr Steamy: Some veeeery good chats but has started to seem a little weird. Had talks about meeting up but I'm feeling like I'm going to swerve anyway.

For clarity I'm fairly recently separated and just looking for some good, safe fun so fingers crossed!

Welcome to the new people and returners

The party on the cockless cocktail bench looks quite enticing. 🍹🍸🍷🍾

@unambiguousbeard I also live in a big city and the over 50s men here are grim too (mostly - and some of them look more like 60 too!) But I can’t see what a younger man would want with me? And I expect a lot of mid 40s men are going younger, especially if they haven’t had kids yet - Mr Rugby is 45 and I’m wondering why he is chatting to me tbh. What’s the appeal of me and my teenagers and busy job when he can have someone in her 30s, no ties, no stretch marks? Do they just see me as a desperate cougar? (Ooh what if I am??? 😱)

Cocktail party bench has a bath. Or rather that's my vibe tonight. Bath. Glass of wine (small). Candle. A podcast. Romance yo' self

If someone takes ages to respond, do you delete? Someone matched with me yesterday, messaged me this morning. I responded but nothing since? I can't think what I said wrong so wasn't sure whether to delete!

We don't want kids.

At least I think it's that. No idea. Mr U was 35. No idea what he saw in me but he didn't seem to mind and none of his friends were phased either.

@Eesha I wouldn't delete, but I don't mind them in the inbox, I would give it another day or so.

@bangheadhere40 thanks! I suspect it's because I mentioned kids....

tiger only 4 months. Which I know isn’t long in the grand scheme of things. But we were mates - or so I though. he was never off the phone. The dignified silence/ NC is really really hard. I’ve done it before,I’ll live. But I didn’t see this coming and I’m deeply unimpressed.

I feel for everyone on here. Dating takes a huge amount of energy and robustness.