Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

so I collected my things. feeling upset but not sure why think it's just cos I was feeling hopeful and that he obv doesnt feel same as me.

back on apps, tried the trick on tinder. got 14 matches, but I've not sent any messages and not received any.

I messaged an old iron (call him mr house), he has been messaging me every 10 days or so but I didnt really reply with much enthusiasm as I was seeing mr builder. he is guilty of coming across as just wanting to hang out but I've made it clear I want to date. he said hes happy to but not this month as hes skint 😂 he is 10yrs younger. not really sure what he sees as I'm hugely overweight but we'll see. just happy to chat at the mo. he has good memes lol

how quickly do u guys normally get back to dating? I'm child free on saturday and dont really want to just sit in. I feel like I have me time every night when ds In bed.

sorry for taking up the board today.

@Eesha I don't delete anyone - I've had matches get back in touch a week or two later. I guess some people are just busy, away on holiday or don't always check their apps.

@bangheadhere40 if you're happy to keep on waiting then go for it, but I know from my own experience with Miss Confusing how hard that can be. Pushing for an answer is hard, but at least it lets you move on with your life.

I had a nice message earlier today from Miss No Name who I went on a date with last Tuesday. She said I was one of the nicest, most genuine guys she had met and a rarity on OLD, so wanted to keep in touch as a friend even though we didn't hit it off as anything more.

So while OLD isn't really working for finding a new partner, it looks like I've made 2 new friends from it in the last week which is a great result.

@TheCatWithTheHat, have you seen ' Motherland' ? For a moment there it just struck me that you were like the guy in that, surrounded by loads of women talking about all sorts. it was only earlier that I realised that you weren't female ! ( as a newbie I have missed out on your story so far but picked up where things had sadly come to an end )

Tinder providing me with plenty to keep me busy. I have talked to new iron Mr ITU and he sounds lovely ( and very keen) and I have the offer of a coffee date on Thursday with Mr Smiley if I want to make myself available. It's made Mr Van move out of my thoughts ( mostly ) FWB Mr Cocky is up for an afternoon of mutual gratification on Friday if I can persuade DD (20) she needs to be elsewhere. It has proven difficult in the past without blurting out that I was on a promise. But feel I can, almost, now

@cat I'm not waiting, definitely had enough now!!!!! Good about your 2 new friends, that's lovely.

Been swiping but no avail, as someone earlier said there's not many I swipe right on, and the ones I do don't swipe back...typical 🙂

Hey all - I have so much to catch up on!

I went on a course yesterday and Mr Muddle invited me over to his new flat afterwards. We talked loads, he has been having CBT and we talked so much
I am exhausted as aside from talking we had very intense dirty sex over and over and I can now hardly walk

@menora is it back on then with mr muddle? What happened to the other iron?

Oooh Menora sounds like fun! At the risk of TMI I'm like that every Sunday 😂😂 Long may it last!

Cat that's probably the second best outcome of OLD - making a new friend.

Men with no photos...is that a definite no? Ones with private photos only.

We literally just cannot keep our hands off each other it is quite intense
I’ve never had sex 6 times in one night and none of them were quickies

We didn’t talk about ‘us’ but he sent me a text message when I left this morning to say it was an amazing night and missed me already

I think we will just ride out this lust stage and see if anything more meaningful is at the end of it 😂

I am struggling to text the other iron back - the attraction I have with Mr Muddle is making things difficult in that area 😂

Private photos suggest married or dick pics. I always say no!

Also he isn’t submissive like I usually go for he is very dominating alpha type in bed. Out of bed he comes over as a softie. I did feel out of my comfort zone initially - not that sex wasn’t good but it made me feel really vulnerable and I couldn’t relax to begin with. This is from previous bad experiences (sexual assault) many years ago but at least I could tell him about it and I think he was in tune with what I did feel comfortable with

menora that all sounds amazing, and a lot to process. I’m not surprised you can’t text anyone else!

Sounds like a fun night menora. Was it his drinking over the weekend that made you pull back? Was it a one off?

bang I’m really feeling for you. Mr Straightflake is a dickhead. Don’t be strung along. It’s not real lovely! No pics- no way. Married I would guess.

onesmall can you not just tell your daughter the truth? At 20 I would have been proud of my mum for getting back out there

I’m not on thread much at the mo so sorry for not commenting on everyone. I am having lovely convos with big and some early nights.

Has 30something ran off into the sunset?

Old is bloody hard but there are success stories. Will wooma be having the first thread baby? If it’s a girl I expect it to be called Marlbs obviously 😂

@marlborough thanks, I promise I'm finally moving on. Looking back at our communication ever since the so called 'ex' was back on the scene more he has hardly been available. My guess is they were on a break and he's trying to get back...that's just speculation.

bang what do you really want and what do you need? They are not always the same thing. Have you read Mr Unavailable and the fallback girl?

@Menora sounds Great and your body gets used to it after a few times 🙈.

I think I’ve had sex more times the last 6 weeks than the last 6 years of being married.

@bangheadhere40 I think it’s time to sack him off he may be a nice man (or not)but he’s not available for whatever reasons. You could try my Pof technique of profile
Off and message who you like look of 😂

I did read that book years ago, and yes that isn't what I want. I know I want a relationship, but only with someone I'm really into, which seem to be few and far between 🙂 I don't want to go on dates for the sake of it. I don't want casual either.

I do that Jane , hide it then message men I like the look of mainly. I think I need to re write my profile actually.

I messaged my vague date for Friday but things change so quickly on there I'm not holding out too much hope!

Is 10years younger too young?
I have a date tomorrow with someone who seems keen and interesting and is 42. But my friends are saying that he is too young and is just after a quick shag.

Might be true but so far it doesn't seem like that.
The men my age just seem so dull. And they rarely match with me anyway.

Hmm so after lots of chat Mr Repeat has disappeared. Swapped numbers, WhatsApp on and off all day and then he dropped of the face of the earth yesterday afternoon. Not even read the last message. It's only been an afternoon/eve but I always think it's a bit weird when everything just stops.

We'd arranged a date for next week so I am hoping to hear from him but who knows!

Yeh @bangheadhere40 I'm relieved you have come to your senses on Mr Not Very Straight. Have you deleted your chat and his number?

Always a no to no pics. They are hiding something.