Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Last post wasnt about Mr straight,it was about your new iron. Forget Mr straight!

Hoping new iron messages and you get to go on a great date.

@supercali77 yes if he was wondering he would get in touch, he is quiet / shy but it hasn't stopped him before, so he is capable, he just doesn't want to.

I agree with everything you are saying, it helps to get an outside opinion on this so much, so thank you.

Ok,well maybe a break is best.
Dating can take up all our head space when infact we all have other stuff more important x

@kerkya I would like the new iron too, if anything just to take my mind of this, plus he seems nice as well! I don't know if to firm up plans with him, I think I'm just going to leave it, as I am probably not in the right headspace. If he asks I will go though.

Fair point, tiger but i can't go on with the looks and the longing much longer. I'm getting splinters myself. I'll just suggest coffee, keep it casual. I know, it's my funeral.

@crazycatlady20 don’t say anything they may be separated and they just haven’t been very public

If he messaged last,then you could bring it up,but I would def leave it if you messaged last.

And if he appears the day before you're meant to meet,say you already have plans but how about another time?

@kerkya we had a brief chat 2 nights ago ( he sent the last message). It was the night before I asked him out and we agreed Friday and I said we would sort it out nearer the time. He's been on POF. I won't do anything tonight, might send him a message tomorrow asking how his week is going, and see if he mentions Friday!

This in droves

@shit do you mean the new iron I shouldn't message? or Mr Straight? or both! :-)

Just at this second Mr Straight messaged me: Hi Bang, just checking in, I'm fine, just got so much going on, hope you are okay xxxx

@bangheadhere40 he’s giving you nothing. That’s a none message stringing you along. It’s not going to be good for you to keep this up esp if you are checking if he’s been on POF or not. Either cut him off or give him an ultimatum (not ideal but you’ll know what’s what)

I don't check if he has been on pof, I meant the new iron has been on pof.

I just said yeah I'm fine thanks and left it at that for now. If he messages tonight I'm going to have to say something and put a stop to this one way or the other. I know he is incredibly busy but everyone has 24 hours in a day, and yes it's just a string along text, checking I'm still there.

@bangheadhere40 this is going to sound blunt, esp as I don't post much at the moment but fgs delete his number/block him. You need to move on. He's seen you once. He's not interested in a relationship and you are. Please! You will feel so much better quite quickly!

@bangheadhere40 I agree with @Jane1978xx

I'm so tempted to text an old iron just to take my kind off things. haven't heard from him since a new year txt. I know it's a bad idea but ....

I mean Mr Straight. It's doing my head in so god knows what it's doing to yours... I mean this in the nicest but sternest way possible.

Ah sorry on the Pof confusion.

I think I’d still be there messaging mr Friday from last year if I didn’t call him out and say either we meet again or we stop messaging.

To everyone else having a crappy time, Echo, Perfect, Jane, the Cat. I've missed people off. It's really honestly ok on the having a rest/no cock-cocktail bench. I'm feeling stronger, clearer generally happier. Dealing with stuff and the emotional fallout of trying to have a relationship is not easy. Dating is really not easy, it's a head fuck. Thank god for the thread. And roll on spring, eh Kerkyra?

Agreed bangheadhere just ditch this bozo. Whatever he is he is not a man who deserves a second thought on your part at this point.

@crazycatlady20 dont have an ending with one man who faded about just to go and restart things with another who hasnt been in touch in weeks.

Honestly the longer any of us waste on people putting in zero effort the longer we waste not meeting someone who's into us without being 'soooooo busy'

Faded about = faffed about

Agreed no cock cocktail bench is better than all the dicking about... though admittedly I have organised low drama (fingers crossed) cock

And now I want a real cocktail and flirting with random men whose names I'll forget the next day.

In reality I feel yuck, though.

Low drama dick. Now that would be acceptable. Trouble is all the drama trying to find one. Although I'm actually quite enjoying celibacy. Won't last...