Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

The height issue again.
Mr Too Far says he's 5ft10 on his profile. I'm 5ft8 and last night I felt like I was towering over him. And I didn't have heels on.

I've just had a message from someone who is 6ft8. Which might be too tall.

6ft and athletic would suit me

@echo...oh no, he must have lied about his height then! Never understand why men do this.

@Mylifestartstoday I know it’s no consolation but I’ve been single for a long time and things do get better and easier - the first RS after a LTR is always a hard one, you are still in a fragile place. And it is for the best to find out now rather than 7 months down the line when you have strong feelings. Don’t feel bad about yourself x

I will update on Mr Muddle at some point... but I am hesitant to because I’m breaking all the flipping rules and it’s a bit insane. Today featured sex, 12 red roses, sex, declarations of feelings (his) more sex then dinner with his parents then a terrifying drive home in the gale force winds
I need to read the rules again and do some kind of meditation
This has never happened to me and I don’t think him either so it’s new territory

As long as you are happy with the pace @menora you were rushed along by Mr Moving and from the outside it looks like you are being rushed along by Mr Muddle. Nothing wrong with taking things slowly.

@menora you seem to get them hooked on you, can you share tips? Is it because you aren't bothered 😅😅

Mr Dumfries has said great, he can make my slot of Saturday so he has offered to come to me.

It looks like he’s rushing me but he isn’t - it’s equal between us both. I am finding it hard to put it all into words.

So it’s like just the weirdest feeling obviously we have a lot of sex and that creates an intimacy but we sometimes have sex with no intention to have an orgasm goal and just be close. We cuddle a lot and it’s like... being home? We like so many of the same things even down to strange food combinations. We have a similar sense of silly humour and wind each other up a lot so we already have like ‘in jokes’. It kind of feels like someone you want to be best friends with
I also have always had an issue with eye contact and feeling uncomfortable even during sex I would feel weird about eye contact but we don’t have that barrier

We share a lot of ourselves with each other it’s like we are not trying to impress each other in anyway way it’s just like when you want to know things about each other, all the small things

@bangheadhere40

I think it may be the types I go for more than anything I actually do 😂
And if you spoke to me 5 years ago I was with fuck boys and all broken hearted all the time

Mr Moving was very insecure and wanted reassurance all the time
Whereas Mr Muddle just wants a cuddle and doesn’t actually ask for anything in return. He’s not trying to ask me to tell him anything or try get info from me in the same way.

@bangheadhere40 glad Saturday afternoon is sorted, bet it feels like ages away.

@Menora how was it with the parents? I’m sure you’d have picked up on something if they felt it was too fast?

Stuck

His parents are lovely
They think highly of him and really are close to him. His dad is worried about him (and it being fast) so I think me going round was in part to show his dad that I’m not some psycho 😂
When he went to the loo I got pounced on by them - and they said they had never seen him so positive and it was down to me as I am giving him the confidence to believe in himself - and they said that he had told them I was like a role model and I’m really independent and he admires me

I’ve just read back and seen saltysally has gone? Good luck I hope to see you soon sometime

And also Ant has had a huge revelation! How is it going?

And I don’t want to swamp the thread really with my updates 😂 it’s ok I think I know we are idiots and we are going to take a risk. No kids or money or moving in involved in the risk and we both are VERY clear on that.
The worst outcome will be broken hearts and disappointment. We live 25 miles apart so it’s still a commitment to each other finding the time but I’m prepared to do it and so is he. I feel like I need to see where this goes

I would like to still give advice to everyone though so I am not leaving!

@menora sounds good, and chat away 😀

Mr Dumfries said again the distance is worth it for the right person. I do struggle with it, I don't mind but I do worry they might.

Mr Dumfries is 1.5 hours away

Tonight’s journey home took me 1.5 hours 😂

Menora. It all sounds lovely. Go with it x

On another note I had to mention the 2nd date to mr Spain. He said we should work something out.

I think it can't be that difficult can it. Leave it him now to suggest

Mr museum who I met about a month ago def wants a fwb arrangement which I'm holding off on and making him wait. He's very keen

All early days 😉

I’ve got him a trivial pursuit add on if Harry Potter for V day as he loves games and loves HP

Just got back from weekend away with Mr Rough Diamond. It was just the best fun ever. Multiple times I ended up with stomach ache from laughing. We ate at a carribbean restaurant and had insanely good food and cocktails and a laugh watching all the people going in and out.

We also spent a load of down time just chatting and cuddling. He talked about his dad who passed away last year. I talked about my son who has some behavioural issues and whose schooling I'm struggling with.

If nothing else, spending time with him has highlighted some of the ex's failings in a way I hadn't seen before.... and made it really obvious how long I'd just been a housemate he had sex with, rather than an actual partner. It is so lovely, yet SO bizarre to actually be seen. It's just fun. And easy. I think my post last week was very intense because we were both very conscious that there was a lot of potential here, now we've discussed and acccepted there is potential, we're back to just enjoying each date and the pressure is off. It's just...fun :-)

@Menora and @nomore sounds like it’s going great for both of you.

I’m still in the smitten bench trying not to stress or look for issues where there aren’t any 😂

@Lovemusic33 I would say go for it and meet him, like Tiger I would probably be described as a bit posh, middle class family, good job etc, but that is most definitely not what I look for in a partner.
I am not bothered what somebody does for work, where they live or how much money they have.
I'm as happy in a tent in a field as I am in a snazzy hotel, but I do like to do both.
Don't assume he is looking for a carbon copy of himself, I certainly don't.

Update from me, I'm forgiven 👏👏
Not quite as easy as that obviously, but we seem to be back on track. Talked everything through and I definitely need to get better at communicating when anything is bothering me.
A lot happier than I was this time yesterday!

Ah bless you @Jane1978xx

I found something out today that I wonder is a thing for men? So Mr M was a bit clunky in bed to begin with, I put this down to it being a while and nerves. We talk during sex and I will know things he seems to like and He very quickly adapted to me. But I asked today ‘what do you like?’ And he didn’t know what I meant. I said in bed? He said no woman had ever asked him what he liked before. I had never thought that this was a thing for men and women really that people don’t find out. It seems so weird 😂

@Menora it all sounds very easy, enjoy it whatever happens. I keep thinking of your big tree.

@Ant330 Phew.

I'm thinking maybe I should go back onto tinder instead of looking backwards to Mr U. But the thought of it... and all the tedious messaging. And I literally don't have the time or mental space to make room for anyone. Aaargh who knows. I think I'll carry on doing nothing for a bit.

General question... How many people manage to meet up during the week? Do you stay over, and if you do what about commuting to work the next day?