Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@bangheadhere40 that sounds like a fabulous date and follow up, pleased for you 🙂
@menora I’m glad he showed you his sober side & you had fun
@Stuckinarut79- I have no words; what an arse
@flamingnoravera have fun...I’d get confused 😂

I’m heading over to mr boat in a couple of hours, were being ,at home tourists’ and exploring the city where he lives & then I’m staying over,
I have a jittery stomach!
I may bore you all with gazillions of updates 😬

Hairy 😜

@undecided have a great time, looking forward to the updates.

@undecided good luck....keep updating.

The only amber flag for me last night was he said he's not a big drinker, then went onto say about all these all day sessions he has ' mainly when sporting events are on. Too early to tell if an issue, reminded me of Mr Muddle @menora.

Some great date updates here.

@bangheadhere40 sounds promising.
@Menora a big old tree.. like mr muddle?
@Stuckinarut79 twat

I'm off to meet mr U. Not sure why but it's company for me and not really had a conversation with anyone in days

@bangheadhere40 he's Scottish. So his idea of a big drinker may not be yours. All day drinking at a sporting event isn't the same as all day drinking every weekend... I would've wary though but I hate drinkers!

Yes Mr Muddle is my absolute ideal type. I honestly even just find the size of his hands sexy. They are massive. He’s built like a rugby player and I’ve always ended up with men smaller than me weight wise and feeling like I might snap them in half if I sit on them 😂 whereas a big guy is twice the size of me I actually feel small 😂

I’ve only met Mr Muddle sober we have never got drunk together. It was more that I worried he goes out binge drinking a lot but he is still a bit of a lad who likes the pub but it seems to be a few pints down the local once a week not propping up every bar in town - I needed to work this our

So date 3 last night... he's nice we get on... i do fancy him. But. We started to get a bit heated last night and this sounds ridiculously shallow but he's got a very small package!!!! Smallest I've seen. I really like him but this did throw me a little bit!! Ugh it's not a big deal right?!

@mrshappen

I mean how small? I think it’s workable if he’s lovely - mouth and hands are just as good in the bedroom! I would never have an orgasm alone just from anyone’s package 😂

@mrshappen it wouldn't bother me if I fancied him, I don't think it's a big deal. Do you fancy him? Or just find him nice?

It does depend on what you need sexually.

Mr Muddle is average sized I would say, but it’s the overall experience of how attracted you are to someone, how comfortable, whether you like foreplay/oral and they also like it too. The actual PIV is not the entire experience. I don’t personally like getting banged away at for ages with a penis, I like hot/intense sensual stuff

@menora you make laugh!

' don't like getting banged away at for ages with a penis'

Couldn't have worded it better myself.

I did know a girl who loved getting ‘banged’ and I was so intrigued by how it worked that she actually enjoyed it 😂

mshappen I would like to say no. I had this convo with a friend last week. If a man was discussing a women having a bucket fanny I would be outraged, it’s the same thing really isn’t it? But then Mr Big is only average height (for me- I’m tall) so....

bang sounds like a great date and follow up message

stuck well at least you didn’t waste any time

unambiguous have fun with Mr U

Oh batshit me too. I’m crazy about him but he is very unemotional. Tbf we have been friends for a year and we have discussed his lack of emotion for anyone before. He loves his kids but had never been in love. I can’t change him and I feel emotionally needy. We message every day, we have lots of dates planned but he seems happy with once a week (if I can get a sitter) or a fortnight if not. I want him to want to be a bigger part of my life!

menora I love a good banging. 😂 I suppose we are all different

It’s too much over stimulation for me 😂😂
I do like it at certain points but I don’t really gain much from it myself

It is funny how different people are - that’s why it’s important to know what you actually need/like - I could never be with someone who didn’t have a good sex drive, was scared of touching my vag and only liked missionary 😂

@marlborough you certainly aren't emotionally needy, it seems he has the issue with his emotionless / unavailableness. If it's making you feel vulnerable/ insecure, and it's not enjoyable for you may be worth reconsidering.

So hard though when they make you feel like this. Going on about attachment styles again you sound secure, but him possibly avoidant. If he is seeing you as much as he can though things could get better, and doesn't sound like you want to stop seeing him.

Talk to him again and see what he says 🙂

Thanks bang I know the issue is his. I just worry that we can talk until we are blue in the face but it won’t change our attachment style, which are mismatched. When we are together it’s perfect but he isn’t warm in messages/ phone it’s all just matey banter

Isn’t it funny menora I’m not a big fan of oral. I like giving but receiving does very little for me.

Love this thread for all the varied things that get discussed in such an honest way.
Size of package is an interesting one. I think if it's too big it misses the right spot with me. My ex had a smaller than average cock but we had some of the best sex. It really is about skill and variety of stimulation not just simple penetration. I loved my late DH very much but I have learnt lots about sex with different partners since and when you meet someone who knows what they are doing and brings out the best in you it can be mind blowing. Sexual chemistry for me is high on my list. I would struggle to be with someone who wasn't particularly interested in the physical side of the relationship. But again this is all about personal preference.
Good luck to everyone on dates or meet ups. I am meeting Mr Photography this afternoon and Mr Smiley tomorrow, both for the first time.

Marl
I hate feeling vulnerable, I don’t think it’s you at all and you can’t change how you feel

Would you give Mr Fact another go? It might be worth exploring something there

Size depends on chemistry. ExH was tiny and he couldn't get me off any other way either, he was rubbish generally. But the best sex I've ever had was with someone with a teeny tiny one. Didn't matter, something to do with the shape or something, was incredible. Still remember and it was 25 years ago. These days I do like larger but that's because I have a saggy old bucket fanny myself... big babies, poor connective tissue, things aren't the way they used to be. And I do like to be able to feel it.

Marlbs don't rush to mr fact. Because then you'll miss big again and regret it. Try to stay with things with big for a bit and see how it pans out. It might eventually become obvious one way or the other but you have to stick with it to see...

@marlborough I agree about looking into mr fact, if you liked him but just never gave him a chance.

I think mr u wants to meet to tell me he's met someone. We'll see. I've got a cold so won't stay long anyway.