Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I hope nobody is misconstruing anything I say. But by my personal experience has been that black men are full of life, age better than most white men and have a charm and character that I am attracted to. But I realise that this could be viewed as a sweeping statement. I have certainly found the black guys in their 50s I am chatting to to be more personable and young spirited than other men of a similar age. To address the original question about having a type I don't think I do have a type but I may subconsciously be drawn to those who I may have previously connected with. My other big draw is white guys of Irish descent. The cultural and family views/background are those I grew up with and make me feel comfortable to be around

Hello...sorry no loo update, no time! Just got back after a 4 hour sober date!

He was really nice, we managed to talk for 4 hours sober. He even brought up the complexity of old ( who should message first, frequency of dates etc) and how it's confusing. I thought I have been asking the same questions on here 😁

I like him and we got on, but I'm not feeling anxious this time, just like I had a nice time.

He offered his surname, we swapped numbers so can communicate on WA and have planned to do something next weekend. He also said again distance no issue.

Sorry, not had a chance to catch up on others yet.

@bangheadhere40 that sounds like a good evening

Serious nerves over mr hot tomorrow!! It’s either going to be awful or amazing, I’d be really surprised if it was anything in between!

Mr scenery was much chattier than usual on text this evening and he asked if I’d like to do something with him in March!!

@stuck I hope it goes well for you, it's hard when you have an expectation, please let us know how it goes.....sounds like you have a lot to talk about with him and he's hot.

Just got a text, as it's always odd knowing if they are polite or like you but I presume he's keen....said:

Hi Bang, that's me home safe. It was a pleasure to meet you and thanks for a lovely evening. You are a really nice person, good company, and very easy on the eye. Good night, Mr Dumfries.

Better than the shit string along text from mr not straight!

@stuck is it morning coffee?

@bangheadhere40 that’s a good text to get, it’s nice when someone just says what they think no games. Glad you had a good evening.

Yes morning coffee, he’s a keen cyclist and we’re meeting on his training route, so not only is he hot he’s going to be in Lycra! But I’m aware that I’m worth more than a stop over on a bike ride!!

I have an iron. I will call him Mr Dimples. Just spent 2 and a half hours on a video call with him and going to sort out when we can meet up when we talk later.

@bangheadhere40 sounds like a great date did you find him physically attractive as well ?
@Stuckinarut79 my ex h was a cyclist and obsessed with it and being a stop on a bike ride is a big thing 😂 enjoy

@Dancerinthemoonlight sounds great I couldn’t speak to anyone that long even my mum or best friend I’ve know my whole life.

I don’t really have a type physically for men. Apart from not extremely thin, large or muscular and they have to be taller than me.

Last weekend I was down and miserable, not an iron in the fire, I posted on here about becoming invisible since I turned 58. This weekend I've got three dates and two more irons on the back burner! I have learned that you never know what can happen even when it feels like a date dessert. I'm really quite excited about my weekend.
Mr Rugby at 3- had to fit me in before the rugby starts- so I already know where his priorities lie. Mr Shibari at 6, he is into shibari and bdsm (luckily I am too) he sounds very exciting but not so hot on looks. And tomorrow, there's Capt Autumn who likes crosswords and quizzes (another love of mine), I can't remember the last time I felt so in demand. Even if nothing comes of them, it's done a power of good for my self esteem.

That was a lovely message to get after a date bang - it sounds like a great evening!

I don't think I have a type - I run a mile from men who are Irish because of my EA alcoholic exh, but that's understandable, I think! Although Mr BC is from Yorkshire, and I've dated two other men from there .... am a sucker for a slight Yorkshire accent. And a tall, broad (rugby player) type build ..

Marlbs I so want you to have a happy ever after with Mr Big ...

@Jane1978xx thank you, that’s really interesting and good to know!

bangheadhere40 great update and a lovely text to text after. It's good to know that there are decent men out there.

flamingnoravera wow, 3 dates in a weekend. Sounds great. I hope at least one is good and what you're looking for.

I like tall, active men who like wearing lycra. So send all your cyclists, runners etc to me, please 😁

@jane yes found him attractive......

And what's with the cycling! Mr Dumfries was telling me about a cycling trip he's booked as well.

The only thing was he was on the shorter side than I normally like physically....but it's not a deal breaker, I just wouldn't wear heels. Not massively over invested ( as advised on here) as you never know what can happen.

Text from mr hot not that surprisingly he’s admitted he’s married and hes gotten cold feet!! Rule number 5! I’m grateful he came to his senses now before it went any further!

@stuck what the hell!!!!! He is married....oh my god what an absolute jerk.

His poor wife! At least he told you but that's awful, is he actively on dating sites too?

You just don't know do you....I think someone down thread said never underestimate the amount of men married / not spilt etc 😡😡😡😡😡

I saw Mr Muddle again he’s just left

He came over I made him food, we played UNO, Trivial Pursuit together.. watched a film, walked the dog, stayed up till the early hours talking.... (all sober) had so much fun and hot sex and orgasm for me (he’s learning fast...)
We again avoided talking about feelings really, not in an awkward way but in a ‘let’s just not talk about those things’ kind of way
I do like that we are enjoying ourselves so much with zero pressure it’s just easy

@Stuckinarut79

What a dick!!

@Onesmallstep67 I certainly find most black men to be charming and age well. That's a very interesting point about being subconsciously drawn to men who are similar to those you have connected with before. I do find myself being draw to certain men more than others so maybe it's my subconscious

My ideal physical type is someone who is like a big old tree. Big arms big hands big feet, tall. Strong etc
I don’t even mind a wobbly belly - six pack not required. I like stubble on the face and a sex voice

That all sounds good bang, including the underinvesting!

Mr GN does bear a close resemblance to my XH - muscular, hairy, thick straight dark hair, amazing eyelashes, not a southern accent. That’s always been my type, thought I have happily diverted into tall, smooth-skinned baldies as a diversion these last two years.

Sexy voice

@menora my type is the opposite 😅

The only thing I like is dark hair, or gray hair....not too skinny, would rather a bit of weight than too slim. Also no six packs....or huge muscles.

And I don't fancy overly tall men. If over 6 foot 1 then that's too tall...would rather a little smaller.