Dating thread 183 - Know your worth, honour your boundaries

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hi all, I haven't caught up totally with the last few pages - can't get over how fast this thread moves on. Sounds like several people have had trouble with POF. Have to say I lasted about 6 hours on that one!! I couldn't stand all the suggestive unwanted messages I was getting on there - literally i had over 100 and it creeped me out so I deleted my account!
Lovely chat with Mr Mechanic last night - finally he confirmed a day & location for our 3rd date. I'm excited - but I'll likely be "on" so now I'm debating weather I need to tell him in advance - we have discussed wanting to get naked......

@Clovertoast I think the Sexting thing is remarkably common these days - I shouldn't over think it. If you enjoyed it - great don't feel bad, it can be fun and as long as you're happy there's no harm in it. If you didn't - just don't do it again. I have done it a few times - be warned it can be addictive

@clovertoast it sounds fine, and that he was checking you were ok with it, so all good there!

Mylifestartstoday I don't think it's that he is too good for you, he just sounds like a potential sex pest, so be careful.

@iamthrough - I would mention it yes, you don't want him to think you aren't interested, if you want to get naked.

Getting nervous about tonight, and no idea why! It's just a quick meet, just after the recent nonsense I've dealt with I'm feeling a little anxious. I don't want to meet someone who I like who doesn't like me...how sad is that. I might not like him anyway though. I hate OLD especially the early stages....and I only have this one iron in sight at the moment, which isn't helping.

If you do meet an iron you like and it's mutual, are second dates normally arranged after the first by message? as in not on the night? and what is a good pace ( once a week). Just for future reference!

Read all your thoughts I like what someone said about it being the hope it possibly of love at this stage. I'll take that. Hope and possibilities are good things :-)

In other news I experimented with personal grooming and am regretting it. Shaved my undercarriage and it's now uncomfortable the day after. How do you regular shavers deal?

Got a meetin with a friend today about setting up business together. Met him on tinder over Christmas. Not the sort of partnership I envisaged coming from a dating app but he's already sent work my way and he's a lovely friend so keep on a the OLD - it can lead to other things besides the possibility of love!

bangheadhere40 I've never had many second dates but I've usually arranged them by message after the first date.
I find it difficult to judge if someone really likes me or they're just been nice. So I'd rather message them when I get home and ask if they want to meet again.

Once a week would work for me. But it depends on how much free time you have

I think I am anxious because of the distance thing ( that even if they like me I will be too far away, again), rather than them not liking me. The one tonight is 1.5 hours from me and we are meeting in the middle! I can't meet anyone near me though so not sure what the alternative is.

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking. Aloe Vera gel with tea tree oil and femfresh moisturiser. Also new razor each time

@bangheadhere40 in my limited experience you or they might say at the end of the date see you again or similar but the plans are made after. Where do you live ? I’m in a smallish town but there seem to be 100s of men on old 😂

@jane - thanks, I live in a small town, but the nearest city with any numbers is 70 miles away ( over an hour's drive)......:-)

@bangheadhere I guess you keep looking as well and someone might come up. Is it the town you went to school in ? I live in a different place to where I grew up and I think if I went on old there I’d know loads of people 🤣 and not people I’d want to date

Yeah, I am back in the place I grew up in, and no one I want to date here.

Will see how tonight goes, he did say it isn't too far, and I am on quite a central route for the motorway, so even though in the middle of no where, it's quite direct to get to.

@bangheadhere40 I have always had second dates arranged by message after the first date - and that hideous waiting for who should/will message first and, what if they don't ask etc etc (I know i should grow a pair and just be more forthright!)
Mr Boat asked me to my face, which was a first; he was keen to arrange something, but I had an inkling he would ask as we had met for one drink...that lasted over 5 hours.
as to frequency - I would love to be able to see someone once a week, however once a fortnight seems more likely for me due to DD, and I guess that will have been a potential stumbling block - the ones i have seen for more than one date have had their kids EOW, too ( and lived at distance..) so they understood my position well.
Mr Popcorn lived about 90 mins away, but his job meant he needed to be within 30 mins of work for chunks of time which made it realy, really difficult to see each other , Mr Movies lived 2/2.5 hours away (which was far too far for me but he would have been happy to drive all the time); Mr boat lives an hour away, which i am ok with.
I live in a small city, with a big city about 15 miles away, and have met no one local that i clicked with..

@bangheadhere40
I always mention distance, too - and it sounds as if you have already...and he is ok with it
I hope you have a lovely time, as my dear friend says me to me, when in doubt 'use tits and teeth' (Back straight, smile, fake it til you make it) - he's lucky to be meeting you.

Re undercarriage. I always just use veet sensitive. Shaving is awful and grows back sharp

@undecided, thanks, fake it till you make it sounds good! Still no phone numbers exchanged....I always get a little jittery if they don't like to give out numbers as I wonder what they are hiding! TBF though I haven't asked for it :-)

@undecided that's great about Mr Boat, you must have a lot in common for a quick drink to last 5 hours!

@bang Good luck with the date! I wouldn’t worry about the number - probably half the dates I’ve had have been without exchanging numbers first. On the plus side you can be sure you won’t be getting any unwanted pics!

I always find it a bit awkward asking about a second date, although if you do want to see them again then I’d just say so.

Cat - Thank you! I must say I have never received an unsolicited pic, or any rude pic for that matter, not that I want on.... but it seems so prevalent....wonder why I haven't!

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking

That was me! I am always going to try to have hope, I think hope is and can be amazing. Hope can also be horribly devastating - it’s not the love part that hurts, it’s the hope. And it’s the hope now that is fuelling you. The hopes and dreams you always had. Just don’t let hope rule you too far into being blinded from anything you need to see!

I only shave in the bath so I am sure it’s very wet and soapy and seems to be ok. Clean razor too

Mr Muddle and I are probably on a feelings collision course of some kind - I can tell he’s trying to hold in all these bursting feelings BUT I know its just because he’s feeling so great right now (and has hope) so I am cautiously not indulging him in it. Hard as it may be. He’s invited me out for Sunday dinner with his parents this week and also for dinner on Valentine’s Day. He’s told his dad about me and we have spent so much time on FaceTime messing about and being silly, I’m just older and wiser that’s all 😂

@NoMoreWeepingAndWanking

I find lots of conditioner helps with shaving.
I'll be honest I only shave my bikini line with a razor, the rest I do with a hair trimmer on grade 0 which gets it really, really short and none of the itchiness or shaving rash.