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Original poster

In this situation would you message to ask if the date is on?

175 replies

WanderingWally · 29/01/2020 21:57

Been on about 8 dates, he went away for the week on Monday. On Sunday night we saw each other and he said oh it’s going to be a week before we see each other now... (I’m a jokey sort of way). I said we could see each other on Saturday afternoon when he flight gets in at 2pm. He said yes that would be good and I said let’s check nearer the time that it works for us.

It’s Wednesday and we’ve had one short phone call today but meeting Saturday wasn’t mentioned. We haven’t text while he’s away and I’m not about to.

I can’t assume Saturday afternoon is on as we haven’t arranged what time or where. But I’m not inclined to ask because I feel he should after I suggested it last time we met?

What would you do? If we don’t meet Saturday it will be at least another week before we can as I am working shifts from Sunday to the following Saturday!

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:16

I know I half cancelled but I wanted to make sure he didn’t feel forced into it! I mentioned it shortly after sex!

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:18

Who called who?

Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:19

He called me

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 30/01/2020 12:19

You're flibbering all over the place. He can't win right now.

Stop playing the silly games, and suggest things that you want to do, and then stand by them. He's an adult man, presumably, he's able to say yes or no.

Honestly, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed, and him up to fail. He has doing nothing to suggest that he's not interested. He's called you once while he's away, and sent photos of his trip...

He may well have not mentioned the meeting because you seemed to suggest it and then immediately regret it.

bangheadhere40 · 30/01/2020 12:21

When he called did he mention when you would see eachother again? or that it would be nice to see you etc?

Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:22

No nothing was said about it, just chat about the trip and the pool and the beach...that was basically it!

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:23

So, Sunday, you saw him and had sex.
Monday he went away.
Wednesday he called you and texted with photos.

Has there been any other contact this week?

Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:25

No that’s it, I’ve not contacted him as he’s on a trip.

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:28

That all sounds fine to me. Personally, since he's contacted you twice now, I would message him tonight, but only if it feels natural to do so. If it doesn't, leave it and keep busy.

HollowTalk · 30/01/2020 12:28

Can't you say something like, "I'm so glad you're back on Saturday. Let me know when you're free to meet up"?

Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:28

Hollow I feel like that sounds really full on!

OP posts:
damaged888 · 30/01/2020 12:31

I wouldn't ask. Wait for him to initiate which I think he will. Try and keep busy in the mean time.

baubled · 30/01/2020 12:32

Don't pull back if you like him, he wouldn't be ringing/sending pictures if he didn't like you too.
It's just one day out of potentially many and who knows, he might be waiting for you to mention it.

It doesn't need to be a big deal, casually text and ask- if anything it will stop the wondering.

SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:35

Just wondering off he needs picking up from the airport?

SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:35

off?

*if

Original poster
WanderingWally · 30/01/2020 12:38

Definitely not offering that! Surely that sounds crazy?!

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:42

It just depends where you're at. Grin

ThirtyAndASmidgen · 30/01/2020 12:47

I would definitely be pulling back in this situation. He sounds half-hearted in his interest and a poor communicator - it really shouldn’t be this hard.

SpoonBlender · 30/01/2020 12:48

Fucking hell, calm down, don't overthink and catastrophise, just communicate.
"Are we still on for Saturday or will you be knackered?" is all that's needed here.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 30/01/2020 12:49

You're happy to let him see you naked but think it's too full on to say you're looking forward to seeing him? Come on OP! You obviously like him a lot. There's no need for games. It's not too full on. It's nice.

TheJHD · 30/01/2020 12:53

Just ask him. No need for all the silly games and head fucks, after 8 dates I’d say he was interested enough so stop messing about and ask outright

PanicAndRun · 30/01/2020 12:56

Jesus, just text him "Are you still up forr meeting Saturday?" If he says yes set a time and place, if he says no/I don't know, then it's up to him to arrange the next date.

All this floundering and hand wringing...

Wolfiefan · 30/01/2020 12:59

I’m with spoon. This isn’t a big deal. Stop overthinking and making it one.

anotherdisaster · 30/01/2020 13:00

For goodness sakes..... Just message him tomorrow and say something like "Just been thinking about our plans to meet off the plane and if you'r anything like me you'll be tired so shall we arrange another time?"
Just get an answer to the question you have an move on with things.

PreseaCombatir · 30/01/2020 13:06

I don’t understand the people saying he sounds half hearted, if anyone does it’s OP.
He’s arranged all the dates, he said yes to meeting on sat, then OP said let’s confirm later. He called OP, she’s refusing to text him...
All very angsty and OTt tbh