Dating thread 182 - keeping our irons warm by the fireplace

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

**

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Sacked off Mr long distance for good. Self respect for the word.

"Hey. I was going to talk to you about this on video chat but since that doesn't seem to be happening.... I'm not sure it's worth meeting up next weekend. You really don't seem very interested in communicating and whilst casual dating is fine, uninterested dating is not.

I don't need essays every day, but someone who maintains radio silence for weeks - especially after what happened last time - it's not something I want.

Best of luck with the dating apps. I'm sure you'll find someone who's a good fit for you. Take care."

@Stuckinarut79 it's a good read enjoy when you get your WiFi back!

Psst I am on a date right now. AMAZING set of eyes on this man

@marlborough really pleased to login and see your update!

@menora...hope the date is going well.

Ok so we just said our goodbyes

He is really wrong for me with 1.5 million red flags - not a bad bloke but his life is messy

Obviously I fancy the shit out of him

I’m so cross with myself 😂

Whoop whoop @Marlboroandmalbec34 the smitten bench is where it's at!

MrM and I have had a fantastic weekend - fishnet hold ups anyone? Started with a lovely, chilled Friday with takeaway and wine then Saturday mocktails at TGI Fridays then cinema and then back to his for some fun, frolics and lots of gin! I've just left his and back just as DD was being dropped off. All is good in my world. Next week he's meeting my DS who doesn't live with me - we've been together just short of 4 months and although it seems quite soon I feel it's the right time. My DD has met him and they get on like a house on fire. It's only a matter a time before he's moving in with me (this time next year, he'll be living with me)

@undecided sofa in relation to your messsge at 11.09 what is wrong with these people suggesting to meet then when you actually suggest it they bail out. Mr B wasn’t from OLD either he was someone I met in person. Not sure if I can be arsed with it all OLD or otherwise when people are not genuine and can’t be honest you can’t see why some women on other threads CHOOSE to be single it’s such grief !!!!

Ok I’m home

I need a head wobble from you guys
What can you see in this that is not an issue 😂

He kind of told me (without slagging off his ex - he isn’t angry with her and wasn’t mean about her) - he has found out his wife ended their marriage for another man. She had initially blamed him taking her for granted and he had suggested marriage counselling and he would try harder and she said no it was done. But she’s seeing a man she met some months ago

They have a very small baby (he has 3DC)

He had been out drinking last night and was hungover on our date

In part he was nervous to meet me as he felt very anxious about dating

He’s signed off sick from work with stress (over his marriage ending)

He’s not looking for his next wife he isn’t sure what he is looking for

He has a good and senior job and despite the marriage ending he sees a lot of his DC and is amicable with ex for their sake

We clearly fancied each other immediately - I would have car park snogged him but I could tell he was tired and shy. I find him so attractive! Argh

And he’s just text me asking to see me again and says he finds me attractive

@Menora I’m no expert but too soon is my thinking!! He needs to give himself time, you have the option of being his shag to get over her but I’d say unlikely to be more than that. So shag or stay friends and catch up in 6 months?

Great update @Marlboroandmalbec34! I hope it continues 😊

@Stuckinarut79

I really gently talked to him about if it was too soon - he is very sure it is not. But I don’t know if this is try to prove something to his ex or for another reason. He also told me he has dated a couple of women of late but he didn’t sleep with them as he knew he didn’t really want to and he was honest with them. He seems emotionally intelligent and open - just I worry he’s in the damaged phase and hasn’t healed at all

If I go down the road of shagging him out of our sexual chemistry I don’t really then want to be the one hurting HIM. I think I’m ok - I’m sturdy 😂

Problem is you know when you meet someone and you want to lick their face? That 😭

We can’t be friends I don’t think.

@shitwithsugaron if it feels right then run with it! If you're both in the same page then it's not too fast at all!

@menora I think you need to take it really slow with this guy - he does sound damaged but then aren't we all to a certain extent?

I am only thinking with my vagina. I wish she wouldn’t do any of my thinking for me

I knew I was going to find him attractive - he’s got dark hair and really blue eyes but it’s like when our legs touched my mouth went all dry

menora that’s so hard, I meet so few men I fancy that I wouldn’t be able to say no.

I’m going to take it as it comes I think. He’s asked to see me again and I think I will meet him. I think as long as I keep it going slow and not rushing along into anything too fast and keep a bit of a distance perhaps it could be an excluding FB situation in our free time. That’s fine for me

*exclusive fuck buddy thing

@menora soooooo many red flags, lovely - a sea of them
At the very least, he doesn't know what he wants, and you are worth so much more than that.

KLAXON - car park snog here this afternoon. Mr Movies from last week messaged to see if I was free for a late lunch/drink...which I was...so he drove an hour and a half to take me out, snoggage after..hoorah
made me feel better after twattery of other irons

Oh menora the urge to lick... you have to see him again.

unambiguous who knows. We are both quite adventurous sexually, might swing properly. Need to see if we can have a proper relationship first but I might be open to it.

salty any way you can meet him before then?

shitwith log cabin sounds lovely

@shitwithsugaron then your only option is to enjoy it! Log cabin sounds awesome! MrM and I have just booked a trip in the summer to a campsite with the kids and my family!