Dating thread 182 - keeping our irons warm by the fireplace

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks @StealthNinjaMum. I'd never thought of it like that. It feels a bit mean though, like MrN is my dating experiment...

I forgot to say Mr Music and I have perfectly aligned interests in kinks too. 😈😇

Good morning, excellent to catch up with everyone, I'm off and on these threads but certainly feel they are helping me - thanks!

I have a first date at 11.30, we have talked for a couple of weeks, would have met earlier but I had an accident. Hmmm I'm nine months in with OLD and starting to feel
somewhat jaded but here's hoping, if it's a good date I will name him Mr Close - he is x military and works as close security for a family - not able to tell me who

@saltysally that website has made me feel like getting back on the horse again. Ooo errr. Lovely stuff

salty are you gonna have to name game to softy? So pleased for you lovely!

Is there a smitten bench at the moment. Can I park my arse on it?

@undecidedsofa and leave the lights on I just wanted to ask about when they let you down do they re arrange ? As I have had a similar situation recently I met an iron Mr B in RL and we chatted and swapped numbers. All good lots of texts etc arranged to meet up. Then about two hours before the arranged date he has cancelled saying something came up . It’s so hard to know if he genuinely had something come up or changed his mind. I feel a bit gutted as we got on so well instant connection just have to wait and see if he rearranges just wanted some advice really I m a very upfront person and I struggle when people aren’t as well

I'll still be salty with it @marlbs
Sit down and tell us about how your night please
Keep a space for me please

@unambiguousbeard I know the feeling!

@sploveslife34 I found the guys who needed to reschedule and were genuine pretty much did it at the time or as soon as they could of needing to postpone with no chasing.

I had to postpone Mr Music but when it happened, I told him why and offered a new date at the same time so he knew I was serious about still seeing him.

Marlbs 😊 tell us!

Waiting patiently for @marls update!!

Had an iron mr scenery cancel last week but it felt genuine and we’ve rearranged for this week, sometimes life gets in the way, how he handled it felt genuine to me.

I’m having a crisis of self esteem, it’s really hard this old as so much is based on looks, I know I’m overweight, not a beauty etc I’ve not had many relationships. I signed up for match in the hope as it’s paid there would be less of the creeps - there are- getting a lot of views but not many likes, and they aren’t messaging! Do you think if they are clicking on my photo that the profile that’s the problem? It’s a pretty boring profile, I hate writing those things!

@SPloveslife34
I have cancelled dates before but made it clear if I do/not want to see them at a different time. He cancelled and asked if I’d like to arrange a date for another time or not as I think he could have been anticipating me being miffed..he didn’t give an explanation though.
I’ll give him another chance I think, but when I’m free, and see if it fits..
How have you left it with MrB? Did he offer another meeting?

@Stuckinarut79 I was on match. I didn’t believe profiles mattered but rewrote mine one day on the advice of hairyarsedman and the next day got a much higher number of interactions, like maybe double? They weren’t huge numbers but one was Mr R and here we are 8 months later.

I think there are lots of factors involved that you can’t do anything about that will put people off. Some people won’t date someone who’s separated, widowed, has children, doesn’t have children, doesn’t have a degree etc so I tended to assume that was the reason for lack of interest or follow up rather than anything to do with me.

Waiting for marlbs update.

@saltysally yes you are probably right. People would say sorry can’t make it can we re schedule but guess it depends on why it was all very positive up until that point.
@ undecidedsofa no he hasn’t it was only yesterday and I asked if he wanted to call me to explain and he said no and it has been left like that no contact since . It’s a shame as I think it’s quite rare to meet someone in RL that you naturally click with and he did seem genuine I guess I probably won’t ever know

You tell her @shitwithsugaron @marlbs the smitten bench has a naught corner. Sit your arse down on it.

@sploveslife34 gently said, you may want to read the rules on the first page. Old can be such a mind fuck and we've all fallen through for people like that esp at the beginning. Sorry

Morning all! I had a lovely date 5 with Mr Joiner

@SPloveslife urgh - sorry to hear that. I'd probably just leave it then..?

@Marlboroandmalbec34. UPDATE PLEASE!!!

@Stuckinarut79
Im on match - when you go through the daily 'shuffle' or 'top picks' it shows up that you have viewed a profile, and as a new member you will be in lots of these...they see a photo, age and location and the first line, that's it ... I had the same, loads of views and then after a few days started getting likes and messages that sounded as if they actually would like to chat or meet me!
I'm overweight, too, with more than ample thighs it is based a lot on looks, but I have tried to tell myself that is how it would be in life too, if I were at the pub for example..
After a week, I made myself go and 'like' people and also completed the daily selection/shuffle thing as it means they see you have viewed them, and then reciprocate the view ...
Be kind to yourself

Woohoo! Guessing you joined up?

Can we tag @Marlboroandmalbec34 incessantly in the hope it pings her inbox mad? No euphemisms intended...

And admittedly @Marlboroandmalbec34 may not have notifications on but its worth a go

quick question, gurus...
chatting to Mr Boat yesterday til about midday when he asked if id like to meet for a coffee/tea sometime
I said yes, that's be lovely and then I sent a message asking when he had in mind...about 1.30 yesterday
Noooooo response. He's been online on match a few times since, and he viewed my profile twice - once yesterday and once this morning (I am like a bloody stalker -you can see everything on that app)
Do I just leave it or should I say I'm happy to carry on messaging or happy to meet, whatever best suits?? Bit desperate if I message again?

@Undecidedsofa thanks, that helps so it doesn’t mean they’ve clicked on my profile just seen it in the top picks, been if they swipe no? Well I feel a lot better now if that’s the case!! but will look at my first line again!

Jeez marlbs. Dont play hot and cold with us. Require deets!

salty yeah I'm ok. It was primarily a messaging relationship given his onshore/offshore life. So theres that. But I dont think dread is a healthy emotion when building a relationship. It was very erratic feelings for me

Glad you listened to your instinct @supercali77. Definitely not the way to begin any form of relationship, even a friendship.