Dating thread 182 - keeping our irons warm by the fireplace

[saltysally]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@rufflecrow you could unmatch them on tinder. they might still see u when swiping, but if u dont swipe right on them they wont be able to contact u.

for me it would depend how long we'd been chatting. I'd prob say something polite and say u dint want to waste their time. if they dont take the hint, ignore or block.

I usually unmatch, they can't contact me or see us anymore. This is because I'm not very comfortable telling people what I don't like about them. I've had so many just stop talking to me that I'm realising what a really shit thing to do that is and I'm so busy trying not to upset them by saying something negative that I'm upsetting them by going nc. I need to man up and just say it I think!

Good morning
@rufflecrow ...little girl is horrible 🤢🤮
@BooFuckingHoo2 I have sent messages such as ‘I’ve really enjoyed chatting to you but I’m not sure we’d click so well in real life. Best of luck in finding .....etc. When I’ve unearthed something that’s a deal breaker for me but not necessarily for anyone else..

I have a date later with mr boat- he’s the one who was chatting with me last weekend, asked if I wanted to meet & then went silent.
We live an hour away from each other so I’ve said I’d be happy to meet but it’d have to be where I am as I’ve other commitments today too ; he’s happy to come over & was glad I didn’t say no...so, we’ll see

Mr movie is getting a bit over invested I think- he said something like ‘I’d do the same for anyone I cared about’ kind of thing. We’ve had 3 dates ?? He’s travelling for work next week which could be a good thing. I like him, but not 100% sure yet.

Hope the future chat went well @shitwithsugaron

good to see the positive stories of the new / early relationships and also all the dates.

My relationship with MrG is still going well, I have no doubts in terms of communication and expectations etc. Last night he stayed and we didn’t dtd which I think is a big step in a way as it’s moving away from the sex being the main part. Nothing was wrong we just didn’t get round to it 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

Agreed @Undecidedsofa he's binned.

Does anyone else here see sarcasm as a negative trait? I keep seeing it on people's profiles as a positive, like "i've a wicked, sarcastic sense of humour" but for me it's a complete turnoff. If i wanted to date Frankie Boyle i'd proposition him!

@Jane glad its going well.

I normally find people who say they have an amazing sense of humour actually don't, usually turns out to be an over inflated ego 😁

I have a new iron, been chatting last night he sees nice and normal. I know it's not the done thing but he seems quiet so I asked him out and he said yes, and we will plan later. We will call him Mr Shopping (he is going shopping and I know little else about him). He is from Pof.

Another couple of chats on bumble but nothing really good. Quite a few where they don't ask questions so I'm binning.

@bangheadhere40 asking men out should be the done thing ! Hope you get on the date soon.

I agree bang, sarcasm is (as my DM used to say) the lowest form of wit. It’s unkind. I put a mark against someone who describes their own sense of humour. Much better if they convey it in their profile or pics - or leave it to be discovered in time.

Agreed @tigerdater.

And @shitwithsugaron you're right, there's someone for everyone, or so people tell me

Or banter is the other one I didn’t Like. People who say they love banter 🤦‍♀️.

Hate - banter, no drama, looking for a good home, no baggage, no crazy exes, so much I don't like 😅

I had another date last night (with Miss Accountant) - third one this week! It started off rather badly as I managed to get lost trying to find the venue I chose - in my defence there are several bars on different levels in the location, and it was dark! She found it quite funny though (I think) and gave us something to laugh about to break the ice.

She wasn't quite my type, and I don't think I was hers but we had a good laugh and lots of eye contact. Saying that, she said she felt ill after a couple of drinks so wanted to leave early and the cynic in me is thinking that was just a polite way to end the date early. I've just messaged her to say I didn't think I was quite what she was looking for, but I had a good time and would love to meet for a drink in the future.

I've got one more lined up for Monday (Miss Horse), and a few more irons I'm chatting to.

Also getting a bit nervous about meeting Miss Confusing tomorrow! I spoke to her briefly yesterday to confirm she's still on, and she said yes - and earlier in the day also sent me a photo she'd seen on Instagram of a place we had half-jokingly/half-seriously spoken about going to together quite a few times over the previous months.

So I'm really not sure how tomorrow is going to go - my biggest fear is that she just sees us as friends now, but I'm also kind of hopeful that all these little memories she sends me of things we did/spoke about previously are a sign she's still interested in more. Not quite sure how to play it - we haven't seen each other for 6 weeks, and haven't spoken about where things stand between us so I'm thinking I should treat it more like another first or second date than our 12th date, and let her lead the way with any kissing/contact etc...

I don’t even know what no drama means and do they mean them or you. Anyone I’ve spoken to who says no drama ended up having some crazy complications 😂

University of life is one I don't like

And I really don't see an issue with being asked out by women. I do try to suggest meeting for a coffee or drink within a week or two if we're getting on well via chat, but sometimes the woman has asked first.

I find Frankie Boyle really funny but he might be a nightmare to live with! My XH was sarcastic to people weaker than him like the DC and my DM. He could dish it out but he couldn’t take it, that’s for sure.

@jane no drama means they have had drama, probably brought on by themselves, along with the reason they have 'crazy exes', who aren't crazy at all.

That's good that men don't mind being asked out, at least at first.

@cat just try and go into tomorrow with no expectations....as if seeing a friend, and gauge her interest from there. Good luck.

I remember Mr Smile saying he had a psycho ex, that's a huge red flag for me now.

@Welsh yes I have seen that a lot recently!

Also own house, nice car etc....does this put others off or just me?

And own teeth wtf is that about??

Not just you @bangheadhere40

I'm not sure whether they're trying to say "i'm not a cocklodger". Or whether they genuinely think women choose men based on their accumulation of material wealth. And ability to hold onto teeth?!

Yes "banter" @Jane1978xx i'm all for establishing a natural rapport, flirting etc but i think 'banter' is something i'd only want with someone i knew and liked really well because then you know how things are intended.