Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

How have you lasted 18 months with this man? Good Lord.

If I cooked the first 2/3 times and received constant criticism...I would have ended the relationship.

Conditioning; having a former abusive relationship and then simply not wanting to be without A Man so she goes with, by her own admission, 'another plonker'.

Sadly, many people never learn how to be content with their own company and build a totally fulfilling life irrespective of being in a relationship so end up with dickhead after dickhead and dysfunctional relationship after relationship.

I am worried, OP and hope you are safe.

The fact you didn't bin him the first time he pulled this stunt means your boundaries and self-esteem are not in a strong enough position to date.

Ok, I’m sticking to Monday as I have arranged for my daughter and grand daughter to go to my mums for a couple of days so if the shit hits the fan and he brings it to my doorstep then they won’t be there and will be safe.

Stay safe OP

So he is asleep now. Snoring attractively. Maybe I’ll flump him on the head repetitively once or twice....He was stuck to me like glue this evening being very very nice Have only just managed to catch up with thread properly now.

I did stick to my guns and had my Thai and he had a subway (which was shit apparently and he is never having one again).

I’m so glad he is asleep now as I can plan my escape a little better. I’ve been on tenterhooks all night.

I think someone asked if he could access my phone, luckily he can’t. Face ID required, if not he would have to work out my 6 digit passcode.

Of course his Subway was shit - how could anything ever meet his standards?

Try and get some sleep now that you know he's not going to start bothering you.

I hope the weekend flies by!

Sorry but I couldn't seriously accept criticism about the food I'd cooked from someone who ordered theirs in good faith from fecking Subway of all places. Especially if that someone was surprised that the food from there was utterly shit. He clearly has no clue. Dump. Move on.

I'm astounded at the way he wakes you...the pillow thumpuck...shaking....pulling your hair and my jaw dropped open at the biting your arse.

He's insane. No normal person behaves like that.

I'm so glad you'll be out on Monday.

Good luck, OP. Please follow through and get away from this guy as soon as you can. I worry that he will get dangerous if he suspects you plan to leave him. Can you say you are going to the shops and just not go back?
Surely a few clothes are not worth staying with him any longer?
You will feel sooooo much better once you are away from him. You deserve better than this.

I’ve never met you OP but you sound fab and I’m genuinely excited for you about Monday.

I had a crap bf once.
The final straw was he criticised my sausages. I only made then because he said he liked them.

He pushed them round his plate and screwed his face up so I chucked him on the spot

I even get noises like tuts and chattering noises like a squirrel sometimes to try and get my attention if he doesn’t like it.

I know things have moved on from the food issues but OMG !!!

Good luck for Monday

Glad to read you're on your at out. He sounds vile. I thought the fussy eating was bad until I read the rest. Any one of those would be enough of a reason to leave, not that you need a reason to leave

You are 100% doing the right thing - will be thinking of you Monday.

We get into relationships we think we deserve. I think you deserve much better. Work on your self esteem and raise your standards (I'm working on this also). Good luck OP!

Hope all goes well Monday. I totally agree with Patellar tendonitis , he has been abusive and training you. Perhaps keep away from men for a while and work on yourself

So glad you’re leaving.

Fingers crossed for you OP

Please look after yourself, stay safe and get out of there.

Sending best wishes. 💐

The dishes you are preparing sound quite 'fancy' for some people. Have you asked him what he likes?
Maybe agree to eat separately some nights & find some meals you both like.
I don't think dinner would be something to leave someone over - unless there are other issues of course.

Just read back through thread & the waking up thing is weird! Agree there's more to this.

Glad you’ve seen the light OP. You deserve so much better. I had a BF like this, he was awful about food and also presents! Didn’t just want cash but then criticised anything you bought him Do look at doing The Freedom Programme. You can do it online for a small fee. It will help you to recognise abusive behaviours and compare it to what healthy behaviours in a relationship look like.

I'm Glad you're leaving @MellowMelly.

Just a quick note for you , be careful to not change the way you react to him too much before Monday. These types tend to be really good at reading people and might sense that the party is over and stay off of work to keep an eye on you.

Best of luck op.

He is still asleep and I’ve been up a while now. So I’ve had a look at the Freedom Project and will get that on Monday as I think I really need to sort myself out.

I was also looking at Passive Aggressive behaviour and it had a link in one article that led me to covert abuse and I think this is him!

Have managed to also message my best friend this morning and she will come and get me on Monday as soon as I’m ready.

My daughter and granddaughter will be picked up by my lovely Mum at about 11am on Monday so that is a massive relief for me as I just know this won’t be as easy as just leaving. I just can’t stand the thought of him turning up frothing and a little 2 year old being present for that. Best they aren’t there.

If he turns up at your house on Monday or after and won't go away , just call the police.

Also , make sure you don't leave anything important behind. You won't get it back.