Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

Scary stuff OP: basically violent to you when he thinks you are asleep.
Checking up on you all day = coercive control
Criticising you everyday (food etc)
So glad you are leaving. Stay safe

I don't comment on here much, but this post has really worried me. Please stay safe op.

He cooks his own food.

Why do you put up with him criticising? Who does that?

Each update was more and more chilling OP. I'm glad you've seen him for what he is and made plans to move out. That's why I love MN and it's questioning. A lot of the times a ridiculous situation is the cherry on the shit cake of abuse,manipulation and gaslighting.

If it's the safest and the easiest way and you can handle it(I wouldn't be able to be anywhere near him) you can wait until Monday. If not, either send him out on a lengthy errand tomorrow or have your daughter/a friend/male relative come tomorrow, calmly tell him it's over and pack your stuff.

However you do it,keep safe and good luck .

Have you any male friends who can come round ASAP and then you can just bundle up your stuff and go.

OR eat the Thai and then falke D&V. He will be so smug that you are sick that he might be in a good mood

Bloody hell. This is chilling !

Please get out safely !

My XP was fussy with food.

Nothing with cheese in, or cream, or eggs. Everything to be cooked until burned. Nothing exotic, or creamy, or in sauce or with 'lumps in'. No sausages, pies (unless it was one he liked), sausage rolls, dips, no picnic food, nothing raw (like smoked salmon). Nothing, basically, that you wouldn't serve in the nursery (except nursery pudding, he made 'sick' noises once when I offered to make bread and butter pudding).

The relief that he is an ex, and I don't have to scour the shelves for something suitable to cook for him! Irony is, he can't even cook, and just heats up frozen food for himself. He also had hugely juvenile attitudes to lots of things - it wasn't just food. He'd got mentally stuck at about eight.

@MintyMabel @Zaph
Rtft, it’s way beyond food

He makes fucking squirrel noises at you? And then I read your update: waking you up 5 or 6 times a night, biting you on the bum, pulling you hair - wtf? He is mental.

Glad you have decided to leave.

I suggest the Freedom Programme before you get into another relationship.

Rtft, it’s way beyond food

ODFOD

I stopped cooking for my DH. Great man in every other way, but has serious food issues.

Our dd shares his issues and she has actually been diagnosed with autism, so I no longer believe he is simply being difficult. I still won’t cook for him. Our marriage works better this way.

Yes, but apologies to the OP, there will be other people who pick up on the title of this thread and want to know what to do about their 'fussy eater OH'.

Leave them. Which is what OP is doing.

Somebody’s having a bad day 🙄🙄
Minty? Nippy be better 🤣
I was pointing out it’s not about food anymore way worse, but you carry on with your horrible attitude.

Sorry, I see this is much more complicated.

Haven't read all the replies but my advice would be to run. My dh is ridiculously fussy with food, at first I didn't really notice but now it irritates the life out of me. He won't eat rice or pasta nor none of the foods that accompany them, absolutely nothing from an Indian restaurant, only 3 things from the Chinese restaurant, no casseroles and has now now started to reject the breaded/battered chicken products he once loved.
He basically likes meat and 2 veg and pizza which he only started eating after we'd been together for 3 years. His favourite meal is stewed steaked, Smash, sweetcorn, mushy peas and frozen Yorkshire puddings! 😭
It makes me so sad that there's so few meals we can eat as a family and it's stressful going somewhere new wondering what he can eat.
It's almost certainly a control thing with him, he grew up with an abusive stepfather and the only thing he could control was what he ate but he hasn't been able to let go of this as an adult. Still utterly infuriating though!

You could say your DD is unwell and you need to look after your GDC

Good luck OP. He sounds completely unhinged and I’m glad you’re planning your escape. Leave him to scowl and tut at his own bland dinners, alone.

When i was a child and sat down at the meal table and criticised the food mum said "eat what you are given or go without". We always ate what was on the plate because there was nothing else to eat.

I'd dump him, highly annoying behaviour and just off putting.

How have you lasted 18 months with this man? Good Lord.

If I cooked the first 2/3 times and received constant criticism...I would have ended the relationship.

@Mellowmelly .. can he not cook? It feels like he is comparing your cooking to someone else's ? Either way if he can't cook he can fuck off with his comments about your cooking . He sounds vile !! Your deserve better !

After reading all your posts i see now that this mans behaviour has nothing to do with food. He is abusive. Im so glad you are leaving. All the best.

thank god you're set to leave OP.. this man is evil... please take good care this weekend and get out Monday morning...

The very fact you are waiting until your DP is out of the house to leave him indicates to me that you are frightened of him. The waking you up at night is abusive and he sounds controlling so I would not stay another night with him. Do you have a friend or someone who can come over and give you moral support whilst you pack and get the hell out of this mans life? Do it today. Otherwise you will have an awful weekend.

The thing is.... I would not marry or live with anyone who didn't share my love of food. I really enjoy experimenting ... every type of food imaginable, if I had someone making sick noises or faces, he would last 24 hours

Food's important to me

OP get out