Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

Well what a weekend your having.

I don’t know if it’s a good idea to have sent him a finality text message, along the lines of ‘I’m done. We’re over. Don’t contact me.’

If you’ve just disappeared in the night and blocked him he could legitimately contact the police and feign being a concerned partner of a missing person.

Yes I feel that he would just turn up especially if he can’t get hold of me, that’s why I wanted my daughter and grand daughter to be away if this happens. I now know he is a volatile character, especially after witnessing that argument with his own Mum. Telling her to ‘fuck off’ and all sorts. Never seen that side of him before!

Oh, blimey yes I didn’t think of that. Focus was on getting out. What shall I do? Unblock and text?

Yes, just something direct and unambiguous.

Don’t apologise. Don’t negotiate. You’re done, you want no further contact.

You can block him immediately after it’s been sent, and you then have any proof if the police need to be used.

I thought that. Yes I think you should tell him you have left and ended the relationship in case he is genuinely wondering why you disappeared in the middle of the night.

Definitely LTB. He nitpicks at you (something that will destroy your confidence over the time) and deliberately wakes you when sleeping! That on its own would have me running for the door. And you're only 18 months in...

@MiniMum97 have you considered reading OP's updates? Like the one 2 before your post makes it clear she has left.

I wouldn’t necessarily have blocked him until you let him know you’re finished with him.

Yes I would unblock
Send a short text just along the lines of
This relationship is over for me. I have left permanently. Don’t ever contact me again.

Take a screen shot of it.

Otherwise he can do all kinds of twisting it around. You don’t know what he is capable of, Which you don’t want.

Bemejiminnesota posted this good advice earlier

Leave now, send him a text "I have left you due to your abuse. If you come to my home or harass me in any way I will call the police. I want no further contact with you." Then mute him (don't block in case you need the text and call logs for a restraining order).

I have an email from him at 9.50 this morning.

Wtf? Where are you? Messages aren’t going through and I’ve tried calling. Have you blocked me? Wtf?

Haven’t responded yet, debating whether to communicate via email only

Well done!

Send a short text just along the lines of
This relationship is over for me. I have left permanently. Don’t ever contact me again.

This! He will NEVER accept he is an abuser. Don't bother. No apologies, excuses, justifications or any discussion. Block on email after that.

He comes round, ring the police.

Not at all surprised he yanked your hair to wake you again.

You are well rid.

Email is probably a good idea.
But do let him know.

Definitely let him know or he has genuine reason to just turn up.

Email telling him to leave your stuff outside for someone to pick up, not to contact you again and then block him on email.

I'm with @PatellarTendonitis - only do it by email. Short. To the point. Don't engage further.

Well done. You are a very strong lady.

Have just read the thread. I would honestly forfeit my stuff to NEVER see this bloke again. He's unhinged. You can pick up some great clothes from charity shops/ebay to tide you over. Underwear from supermarkets.

On a lighter note - I can imagine him chattering away like a squirrel to himself with rage now he's lost his 'victim'!

Yes, send a very succinct email saying Do not ever contact me again, we are done.

I would also look at your social media settings (and your daughters) and make everything as private as possible.

No doubt he will try and contact you via other numbers, so I wouldn’t answer (a genuine caller would leave a message, if you didn’t answer because you didn’t recognise the number).

Well done on leaving. He was already beginning to ramp it up. He was definitely heading towards DV and was already EA you.

Email would be the way to go, send them black his email address. I'd also forgo my clothes to never have to see him again

I think email is safest too OP.

OP you are amazing.

Well done, OP! I'm really impressed by your resolve in getting away from this nasty piece of work. Just be careful, as others have said , not to get drawn in to any mind-games he might play, such turning on the charm or, at the other extreme, threatening suicide, which he might well do...

In the words of the wife character in the movie Rita, Sue and Bob Too
"make your own fing tea