Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

I'd want to send a thumbs up emoji. Then block. I couldn't just leave it. But I have no dignity, i guess

Sorry you are going through this. Please don't text him. Try really hard.

Many years ago I was dumped, came home everything packed up and he was gone. I was devastated. I of course texted out of anger and I think I may have pleaded too made an idiot of myself. Bumped into him about a year later, we had a very brief chat and he actually laughed slagging at how I reacted over the break up. More devastation I then met another guy, but again was dumped, I ignored his dumping text and later found out from his sister that the silence really freaked him out, she said he kept checking his phone and asking if any messages had been left at his mother's house, tbh that made me smile I did end up then meeting my now dh and I'm so thankful that they both dumped me, otherwise I would never have met my dh. It was meant to be.

Oh and Garth Brooks song unanswered prayers got me through it.

You're doing brilliantly OP! I'm another who can vouch for silence as the ultimate weapon. After being fucked around for months I eventually went silent after an out of the blue 'we just feel like friends' text at 11pm (thanks for that you dick). A few times later he texted he missed me, how was I, had I met someone blah blah. Silence eats away at a persons conscience and ego more than any amount of calling them a dick does. Whether he does or he doesnt come poking around to try and find answers to his questions - the silence will get under his skin and frankly he deserves it

I'd want to send a thumbs up emoji. Then block. I couldn't just leave it. But I have no dignity, i guess

I have been imagining I would text back, "Oh, did you find out?" and then block, but I know I wouldn't really reply either! It would have got him puzzled, though!!

I think you need to try and get some amusement out the likely scenario that every time the arsehole’s phone beeps he will be totally irritated that every time it is never you.

Me again!
You are doing so well to have not contacted him. What advice would you give your daughter, sister, best friend? I'm sure you would say not to reply, because that is what you have done. It IS the best advice. This sack of shit has hurt you so much. If the injuries were physical he would be arrested and prosecuted. Remember that. Healing thoughts.

There's a line from the book Fried Green Tomatos at the Whistlestop Cafe:

'When you hear the phone not ringing, it'll be me that's not calling'.

Be the one who keeps on NOT calling.

I'm very impressed with you OP!

OP I was driving earlier and I heard a song on the radio that made me think of you. It was "You should be sad" by Halsey.

It's quite an empowering break up song. I've never heard it before and thought it might help if music is a good outlet for you x

You guys are all amazing, thank you!!!!
I swear I’m on the narrowest of threads at times, keeping myself from texting. Reading these replies really helps. I’m sorry I don’t know how to reply individually, but as a pp said, it helps to imagine him checking his phone and wondering. I’d rather that than him thinking ‘ oh god, her again!’.
I will look at the songs that have been mentioned as music is my thing, but will wait until I’m somewhere that I can blub alone.
Maybe I should count myself lucky that he even sent me a text, albeit a cold one, as so many of you seem to have been ghosted with absolutely nothing. To be honest though, if he had done that, it would seem so incomprehensible that he would do that, that I would have to contact him just to see if he was alive😕.
I didn’t sleep well last night, but am ok ish today (at work) and hope that means I’ll sleep better tonight as really tired.
Love the book quote from fried green tomatoes - I will endeavour to be the one who keeps on NOT calling 😉

I agree with the silence was there any other suspicions along the way when you look back that made you question or wonder ? It’s hard to see things when your caught up in the situation

oh Op, you're doing great

I’ve also got to stop thinking that he was perfect for me.
If he can do this, then he obviously wasn’t!!

Sploveslife - I’ve gone over and over things and all I can think of was it all seemed a bit ‘too good’ if you know what I mean. He was ( or seemed to be I suppose I should say now) loving, kind, generous, funny. The first few months it was actually a bit much - 5/6 phones a day. Flowers twice a week sent to me. All lovely, but had to tell him it was a bit much. I think I did it nicely and he seemed to take it well, but who knows

If I had mutual fb friends ect... I'd be tempted to shame him. Eg post on fb: 'so randomly out of the blue after a two year relationship, I got this text from my partner the other day screenshot. And now of course I am gobsmacked, I mean, how could I not know I was dating a psychopath all this time!? The mind boggles

Let everyone know what a weirdo he is.

On your page obv, not his. Keep him blocked! You're doing good.

Your latest update...sounds like he was 'love bombing' you. Which fits in with the idea that he was a walking cluster b personality disorder.

Keep strong OP
He doesn't deserve you

OP exact same thing happened to me a few years back.
We were about to move in together and were totally loved up. Then randomly he broke up with me as "he didnt love me and wasn't feeling it".
Completely out the blue. 2 days before he had bought me a tiffany ring 'just because' and told me how he couldn't wait to move in. Then he came over. Told me he didn't love me, got his stuff and his parting words were "dont be ringing me constantly, drunk texting me or crying".
Well i was in shock. So much shock i didn't even cry or say anything. Just said "okay then" and let him leave.

Anyway guess what? I never once spoke to him again. I didn't text him. I didn't ring him. I didnt demand an explanation. I literally have never spoke to him again.

You see his comment of "dont be ringing me.." really riled me. He obviously expected me to be a mess and in bits and begging him and wanting to know what had changed.
I was in bits.. In private. I rallied my girls around and drunk proseco and ate chocolate.

1 year later my ex happens to see me out in public at tesco car park. But somethings changed. I'm 2 stone lighter wearing a tight dress and heels with a rocking hot body getting out of a brand new Mercedes 4x4 with my successful boyfriend in his suit from work.

The look on his face!!!! He was looking worse for wear. I had upgraded my entire life massively.

I am so happy i never contacted him again after he dumped me. Literally my proudest moment. The last thing he said was not to go crying and begging him and sorry he had broken my heart blah blah blah.
Clearly expected me to fall apart and demand to know why.
Then he hears NOTHING from me ever again and he sees me looking fit as fuck with a successful businessman for a boyfriend a year later. Gets me everytime!

DO NOT CONTACT HIM! I wish every woman could experience my moment i had in Tesco car park. That experience taught me that never will i chase a man. I will just live better and do better!!

1 year later my ex happens to see me out in public at tesco car park. But somethings changed. I'm 2 stone lighter wearing a tight dress and heels with a rocking hot body getting out of a brand new Mercedes 4x4 with my successful boyfriend in his suit from work

Oh how I love this.

@Thickums I love that too! I hope you're still with the boyfriend and very happy

Op please don't start overthinking what you might have done wrong. This is truly him, not you.

Omg. I want a Tesco car park moment! Lol.
I do believe that the best revenge is to live your best life so that’s what I plan on doing ( in my stronger moments!).
Bit of a cliche, but I’m going to have my haircut and restyled on Friday 😎.

Thanks ladies

@user3575796673. Seriously. Do not contact him. It will drive him crazy more than it hurts you.

I remember all my friends and family being in complete shock and saying he'll coke crawling back. But i was done. Men like that are the type that will stand you up at the alter. Or will walk out on you with when you've just had a baby with no explanation. It happens to women everyday. At least we've had a lucky escape. I knew i would never be able to trust him again so why give him the satisfaction of knowing i was hurt/upset/confused. Me messaging him wouldn't fix the relationship or get us back together. Would just boost his ego and make me kick myself after.

I lived my best life instead and got my justice a year later in tesco.

And FYI me and suit man are still together!! And I'm still 2 stone lighter! I'm very happy. I can honestly say i handled the situation the best way possible and gave myself the closure i needed.

You can do it too!! Whenever you get the temptation to make contact just think of having your tesco moment!! It will come. I promise!! Xx

Sounds a bit like he lovebombed you tbh.

LOVING that thickums

In relation to your reply OP there’s a saying if it’s too good to be true then it usually is meaning it really isn’t . I guess we never really know someone however long we have been with them .
Well done OP keep it up let him squirm 😂

I know what you mean about “love bombing’ and I thought it myself at first. But surely that is usually over a short period of time at the start of a relationship? He settled down after I said it was all a bit much . To keep up the ‘pretence’ if that’s what it was, for 2 years, seems unlikely.
But I feel like I don’t know anything anymore, so who knows.