Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

Even the goodbye loser text is letting him off the hook. No text at all is definitely best. He’ll never know anything- he’s lost op completely. He doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook with an angry or hurt text.

I'd want to send this and then block. But probably wouldn't in reality. The herpes bit is a lie but hopefully a little germ of doubt might plant itself in his mind.

OMG that's hilarious, I had no idea what a shallow wanker you are. I don't feel so bad I didn't tell you about the herpes now. Enjoy!

I think you have done so well not to reply. There would not have been any point asking for an explanation because how could you believe anything he had to say?
I think he probably cannot get his head around the fact that you haven't replied. He is probably really pissed off that you have demonstrated how strong you are by not replying when he clearly is an absolute spineless shit. In my opinion, to not reply speaks volumes, that IS your reply. Fabulous. It WILL get better, (promise).

This is a perfect reaction!

I'm so sorry this has blindsided you, it's such a horrible feeling but it will get better and you'll be so happy you just cut him off. It will be infuriating for him, and is so dignified for you. I wish I could go back and give this advice to younger me a couple of times, but I'd probably not have had the strength and maturity!

Whenever you want to text the bastard post in here instead. As a team we will get you through it. He's a spineless bastard.

He slept with you on Friday knowing full well that he was going to leave you? Would you have agreed to sex if you'd known his plans? He is at best seriously disrespectful of your boundaries IMO.

You are doing amazingly and he did not deserve you.

DO NOT TEXT HIM.

If you respond with something to the effect of 'you're not the boss of me fuck you' he'll just roll his eyes.

If you respond with something along the lines of 'yeah me too' or 'ok' that's letting him off the hook.

If you try appealing to him it will boost his ego to think you still want him.

If you ask if there's someone else or if you need testing and he deigns to respond, it will be a vague response or outright denial.

If you rage at him he'll give himself a pat on the back telling himself he escaped an obviously crazy woman.

If you demand an explanation, you won't get one. Any explanation that may eventually come forth will be self-serving drivel. It will not satisfy you or help you understand what happened. Whatever he says will be said with the intention of making himself feel better, convincing himself that he's done the right thing in the right way, and making you feel like shit.

KEEP QUIET.

Yeah the fact is he is clearly lacking in empathy that he can just end a two year relationship by text, so there's no point trying to get closure from someone like that. They never give it. Because they want to end things without necessarily freeing you. On their terms. Chances are, as others have said, he'll come back at you with a bullshit excuse some time down the line whenever he is low on other supply for his ego.

Best to block his number.

The writing a f u letter thing and then burning it is something that worked for me in the past :)

I'd probably just text back.
'You cowardly fucking asshole! Your lack of respect is astounding. I hope you get knob rot and it falls off you fucking bell end. I am going to assume I need to get myself an STI check. Thanks for that!!!'
And yes, I really would!*

Yes!

Thanks so much everyone. I’ve got through most of the morning by being very busy and pushing any thoughts of him out of my mind. Will let myself sob later at home if I need to.
Azrail - your post really resonates with me. There is no good outcome of texting him for me, not to mention I will be checking frantically to see if he replies.
It was a shit, cowardly thing to do and he would know that.

You poor thing. What a shitty thing for him to have done. I too would be in the "stay silent" camp. There's not anything you can say. There's plenty you can do to make yourself feel better, once you're ready. Expect you need to adjust first.

When you look back at the past month or so, were there any small signs that you missed? Like days he wasn't in touch, or any odd comments? It's so strange

I’ve had similar except it wa my DF that ghosted me, I never ever texted him. There’s nothing to say anymore, really. When someone does something like that you realise you never knew them at all. Father, boyfriend...trust me, silence is golden, and you will really have, the last word by saying nothing at all.

I take my proverbial hat off to you, OP - I'd really like to think I'd have done the same as it's definitely the right thing to do, but .... I'm horribly guilty of those continual "I need answers!" texts, and the cringing humiliation and loss of dignity that follows. You are doing brilliantly!

He said he couldn’t believe how someone as beautiful as me was with him and that he didn’t deserve me

You're well rid of him. He knew he was about to leave you. He was letting himself enjoy your company one last time, with no regard at all for the disrespect involved in him knowing this but not sharing it with you. The bit about him not deserving you is an admission of guilt that he's a wanker of course. But I strongly suspect it's because he's sleeping with someone else. Dickheads like him don't move on from someone whose company - and sex - they obviously enjoy unless they have to. And that's not because he's decided you're just not compatible or want different things in life or anything that means anything. I'd bet good money it's because his hand has been forced because he's seeing someone else.

He's right though, on this at least. He doesn't deserve you.

At some point, it'll stop hurting, I promise, and you'll be glad to be free of him. What a tosser.

Ha! Bet he’s amazed you haven’t texted him!

I’m struggling this evening. Stupid little things set me off like seeing his beer in my fridge. It was like a punch to the stomach and I ended up on the kitchen floor sobbing . How can he just throw away 2 years with a short text message? I feel like a piece of rubbish thrown away.
I WILL be okay, just got to ride out these horrible moments. I have broken up with people in the past and I’ve been broken up with and it’s always painful but there has always been a logic to it iyswim. I can always think of ways we weren’t compatible etc but this time I’m in complete shock.
Reading this thread shows me, I’m not alone in this which is comforting in a way - although I’m sorry others have had to go through this.
Someone asked if I could think of anything that could have predicted this and the answer is no. I keep going over and over it but can’t think of a single thing.
The two friends I’ve told so far, plus my Mum and sister have all said his comment about “I don’t deserve you” was very telling and was his guilt talking knowing what he was planning on doing. They also all think he will contact me again at some point and I’ll need to decide what to say. I can’t even think about that at the moment.
It’s so strange not having a phone call from him and telling each other how our day went😞
Going to plan something nice for the weekend to look forward to.

Aw, I'm so sorry you are feeling like that, it's completely normal.

Please try and remember there is nothing you could have done here, absolutely nothing. You are doing so well x

Get rid of the beer. Pour it down the sink. If it's cans, crush them. If it's bottles, get them straight out to the recycling bin. Just get rid of him completely.

If he texts just ignore him. It doesn't matter what he says, you don't need closure from him. The closure is that you deserve better. It'll make him squirm. Remain resilient. You've got this!

You’re bound to have moments where you’re really upset. You were with him for a good while and he’s treated you in an absolutely disgusting way.

You know that even if he does contact you there’s no need for you to reply/speak to him. Just reply that you were absolutely disgusted at his behaviour towards you and you don’t want any further contact with him. Keep your dignified silence.

You’re doing so, so well. The man’s a fool in what he’s lost.x

What a worm. Write the fuck you letter then put it away. When you come across it in however many years, you'll laugh!

@user1471427667, what a horrible experience. Some people are complete arse wipes. But his actions tell you everything you need to know about him. Once the shock has subsided you will realise that he wasn't the right man for you because no one worth having in your life would treat you like he has. Dig deep. You can do this

Or you could just say. 'Hey arsehole. Did I mention I've got the clap? No need to reply.

Ok. Maybe not very classy. But what a cowardly clueless twat

Well said

You are doing amazing OP.
He is a coward and doesn’t deserve you!