Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

Ohh what a piece of work he sounds, your well rid. Well done for staying strong and not texting. Everytime you are tempted to text him sing this is your head “I mustn’t text I mustn’t snap, I wish him well with his dose of clap” haha worked for me. All the best with your future honey, your going to be just fine xxxx

How are you doing, OP?

Just signed in to read this thread again as having a bad day and it’s really helped.🙏
I switched my phone off most of today as I got really close to texting him this morning. I had a dream about him, nothing particularly good or bad, just us going about our life together. I woke up and really felt the loss. It was actually in my head to text him an apology ( and I don’t even know what for!). I was just going to tell him I’m sorry if my actions had in any way caused this and that I loved him and missed him.
Anyway, I didn’t, thank goodness, but came really close! It’s taught me that however strong I think I am, it can change in a matter of seconds.
Have deleted his number, know it off by heart so more of a symbolic gesture.
Trying to look forward. Having my hair cut tomorrow and then seeing a friend - have decided not to drink for the foreseeable future to help the no contact.
Thanks again for saving me!

Aaah op we are here for you!

Well done for not texting him, you’ve done better than what I would have been like in similar shoes!

you’re doing well OP. Stay strong .. whenever you feel the urge to text or apologise (for him being the biggest twat ever) just remember how he made you feel. These feelings are temporary and believe me you will look back and laugh about him. It might seem a long way off but one day it will just click in your head and you will not give a flying fluff for him anymore! We all have our weak moments when we feel sad and lonely (I’ve done this more time’s than I care to admit) and we focus on the ‘good bits’ .. we forget all the shit they put us through and tend to romanticise the relationship when in reality it was an absolute pile of shite. Stay strong .. we’re all here for you to rant moan cry and laugh with x

thickums 👏

Oh my god, thank goodness you didn’t go through with it!!!

Aw have been thinking about your today so thanks for the update. When I first read your post I thought no way would I not be able to reply and hoped that someone would come up with the perfect one. However on reflection the awesome power of the blank is the answer here so STAY STRONG and one day you too will have your Tesco moment! The man is ridiculous sending a text like that in the middle of the night.
I know it's horrible to suddenly find yourself single with no warning and of course you miss him but please don't give him any power by contacting him again.

Well done you.
Keep strong and you deserve better than him. X

Oh you're good, not replying

I'd have just sent "how cowardly" or "not classy" and then blocked. Just to try and induce a bit of shame for his shittiness. If people like that can be made to feel shame...

Sign up to online dating to distract yourself - the best way to get over someone is to meet someone new. If nothing else it will take your mind off him.

And please for the love of god don't text. The ball is currently well and truly in your court so whatever you do, don't put it back in his.

Feeling very relieved I didn’t text now! Amazing how it seemed such a good idea this morning!
Fromage - couldn’t think of anything worse than dating at the moment!

I have to say this is such a lovely and supportive thread and I really hope you are able to draw some strength from it OP. You come across as a really decent person and I hope you’re able to look back in months to come, having moved on with or without somebody else.
It’s just not acceptable for people to dump anyone by text, really bad form.
LOVE the Tesco car Park moment as well, bloody brilliant.

Ime, 2 years is just about the time when the mask slips, often coincides with the time when the relationship becomes "mundane" so he may have wanted a reaction from you. Did you know much about his past relationships?

Clickncollect - thank you. I hope In a few months time I can just shrug and think “what a loser!”
If he’d broken up with me decently, I would still be heartbroken but in time, I would have always looked upon him and our time as a good guy but it just didn’t work out. Whereas now, he will always be ‘that prick’
Techway - That’s interesting. I’d say we both got more committed around the 6 mth mark. I certainly felt very secure in our love for each other ( ironically!!) He said he could see himself being with me forever and we talked about children etc. We seemed to be on the same page. I am far from being pushy about things like that and I’d say he instigated more of that talk than I did.
He had one 8 year relationship with someone he met at uni. They gradually drifted apart as they grew up,according to him, and wanted different things. Then he was single and dating for a few years including a 10 mth relationship but he broke up with her (not sure if by text message or not!!)

Leaving at 4 today to have haircut ( fancy complete change!) then meeting friends in evening.
I wonder if he even thinks about me. It’s been 5 days since he dismissed me from his life and it still seems just as bewildering as it did reading that text.
Right, that’s my 10mins indulgence thinking of him. 10 minutes longer than he thinks of me, so enough of that.
I’m planning on organising/tidying my flat this weekend plus box set bingeing a few series.
Big thank you to you all again for this lovely thread xxx

I come on every day to see how your getting on!! Its so lovely seeing you being so dignified! You are worth so much more than he deserves and you will make someone guy very happy in the future!!!! You sound lovely xxxx

Oh @user1471427667 - I have just read this full thread - I cannot believe what a piece of work he is. No one deserves a text message after 2 years. I hope your hair looks lovely. Have a good weekend. You deserve so much better than that terrible cowardly piece of work!

Boxsets - yes!
Unbelievable was really good.
I binge watched Killing Eve last weekend. Highly recommend that.
Fleabag on BBC Iplayer is fantastic.
I really enjoyed 'Dead to me' as well.

You seem to be doing well OP.
It's gonna sting for a while yet.
A new look is probably just what the doctor ordered.
Go for it with your haircut.

Sansastark45 - ah bless you, what a nice thing to say! Believe me, I feel far from dignified especially when I’m sobbing on the kitchen floor or singing very loudly and out of tune to ‘our songs’ while preparing dinner and imagining the potato I’m chopping is his head!!!!!
But, if he is somewhere thinking my silence is because I’m a dignified, serene ice queen, then that is fine with me!👸🏻👍😊

Mumdiva - thank you. He is a coward, a selfish coward. No room for that in my life!
Hope you have good weekend too.

Hellsbells- we seem to have very similar taste. I watched killing Eve when it came out and loved. Watched it with ‘him’. Should have picked up a few tips of how to deal with him lol!!!
Loved fleabag too and watched unbelievable on Tuesday evening when I couldn’t sleep.
Will have to try ‘dead to me’ this weekend. Seems like an apt title.
A pp recommended ‘ the good place’ , so got a few things lined up.
Thank you x

Well done on keeping your dignity. What a fuckwad. He must, on some level, wonder why you haven't been in touch. Let him wonder. I can't believe he did this to you. As devastating as it is, you are SOOOO much better off without him in your life. And better he's done this now than another five years down the line. I know that doesn't help!!

Utter knob.

I watched 'Angels of the North' on BBC 3 last week. It's a fly on the wall of a Newcastle salon - surprisingly easy to watch. Especially when you have no long term concentration.

I also watch Responsible Child - a one off but absolutely outstanding TV.

imagining the potato I’m chopping is his head!!!!!

YEAH

The initial love bombers seem to me to be the ones that find it easiest to cut people out if their lives when they're finished with them.

I think he meant it when he told you not to bother replying. He genuinely didn't want the hassle as he's already checked out (and in with someone else- almost certainly). That's why he stared at you in bed and made the loving comment, because he knew he was off to someone else and had a nice final sentimental moment with you.
Although it's vile of him to dictate whether or not you should reply, I still think it's best you don't. No reply keeps your options open and will eventually cause him to worry and wonder.