Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

how are you OP ?

Good morning! It’s 5am and I’ve been awake for a couple of hours with thoughts of him consuming me, so have got up, made some tea and feeling comforted by reading this thread - like wrapping myself in a warm blanket of support x
Have actually had a good weekend, friends over Friday and spent the day with my sister and two nieces yesterday which was lovely - there is nothing like having two sets of chubby little arms around your neck pleading with you to get up and dance to ‘Baby Shark’ for the 586th time to make you forget any worries!
I’m on ‘project bedroom change’ today. Have a new headboard being delivered later today and have some new bedding to change things up a bit.
Just waiting for it to get a bit light outside so I can have an early morning run. By the way, if you read all my references to running, you could be mistaken for thinking I’m some sort of mega sporty honed athlete. I’m definitely not lol!!! Just find it really helps me. A pp explained it really well as it making you totally exhausted and have a physical location for the emotional pain.
Also, there seems to be a storm brewing outside by the sound of the wind, so even better!!!

Morning OP. I too have been awake early, a combination of howling winds and life generally, always trawl the relationship boards when feeling like this.

Have just read most of this thread. I think you are incredibly strong, and so so dignified in your approach. It doesn't matter what you do to get to grips with this, just don't relent and make contact. I completely understand the need to know why, but, he will, without a doubt, give you a BS 'story/reason', you won't get the truth. He undoubtedly has another, as IMO men rarely leave to be on their own, I've never known it.

Scream/cry/run/haribo whatever eases the pain, it will get better. You've dodged a bullet from a lying, cheating toad.

I REALLY feel for you OP..tight squeeze hugs (((()))))

Morning op - have just read the WHOLE thread from top to bottom. What a journey you've been on over the last 6 weeks.

He IS a total arsehole but has done you one massive favour. Through this you have discovered an inner strength, a survival mode, that will be with you for life.

Onwards and upwards, you wonderful woman, you! Enjoy your new bedroom. x

Enjoy today OP! You're doing great!
I was reading your thread yesterday & you've inspired me to do the same. New curtains and bedding arriving today!

A physical location for the emotional pain and exhaustion. wow. [lightbulb] That makes so much sense.

That's probably why I was so ''exorexic'' for years after I left my abusive x. I don't mean to be flippant about anorexia there, but I know I was obsessed. I worked out 5 or 6 days out of 7.

I’m still in emotional pain from a break up and gained serious excess weight due to eating my feelings. I’m inspired to download the couch to 5k ap and put my sadness into something more positive

I have kept in contact with my ex over a year after break up even though it mostly makes me feel like shit. I wish I had had your strength

Thank you all again, you lovely lot for all the messages, virtual hugs, poems, funny anecdotes, heartbreaking stories, psychological analysis etc etc - true ‘Girl Power’ in action!!!
Had the best run ever. Got soaked through and as well as letting the tears flow in the rain, at one point I shouted into the wind! Felt fab, although there were a few houses nearby so hope nobody was looking out the curtains at that point
Listened and cried to some Lady GaGa in the shower (bloody love her). “I’ll never love again” is like my crack cocaine of songs . I love it, but it’s sooooo bad for me.
My headboard arrived earlier than I thought, which is good. It’s in my hallway now and is sooooo heavy! Started to move it into my bedroom, but then in true Girl Power style, gave up and am sitting drinking tea and eating some hobnobs while reading this thread! 👍

@Nofoolfornoone . That sounds like a great plan - download it!!
Also, I would never tell anyone if they should keep in contact with an ex or not as it’s completely an individual choice and circumstances vary, but as you say it makes you feel like shit, then what have you got to lose?? It’s never too late to start 💜
@othervoicesotherrooms Hi, fellow bedroom transformer! Hope it goes well! I’m just about to get stuck into it again.x

@Nofoolfornoone. That’s meant to say “it’s never too late to start no contact”.

You are doing so well OP, I really wish I had had your resolve and dignity when I was younger! Has he tried to contact you again over the last week

@user1471427667
You're amazing. If only we could all meet up! Run in the rain! Oh how I wish I could do that now... I did used to enjoy it! After the vomiting 😂😂🤣
Where are you OP, south, north? Tbh I assume you prob want to remain anonymous! Xx

@Pippastrelle - lol yasss! What fun we could have running in the rain, crying, shouting into the wind and vomiting!!😭🤢
@Mikeymoo12. No, haven’t heard from him and don’t expect to now.
Bedroom is finished, all changed around and some new bits added. I’ve even opened the windows all day in there despite howling wind as I wanted all the air to be different in there too!!🤦‍♀️
Happy Sunday everyone x

Sounds like your new bedroom is perfect! I wouldn't be surprised if you hear from him again either a sob story or a rant or even a drunken ramble but keep your head high and keep healing you're a total queen

Thanks @Mikeymoo12 and everyone else for your good wishes. There is literally nothing he could say now which would make any difference. Maybe, possibly, at the very start, but not now. Knowing that it is over is truly gutting but I can now try my best to get on with healing.
Off to my beaut new bed 🛏😴
Night night xx

I think a point just clicks in you when you know you deserve better and whatever they say it doesn't matter!! I do wonder at people (because it isn't always just men) who think it's okay to treat people like this?! Do they actually realise they are been a total dick

Doing your bedroom is great.
Exactly what I did.
Just feels totally like 'yours'.
I've been away but caught up with what has gone on.
Jeez he's fucking twat.
Well done on remaining so strong.

I've enjoyed reading through the thread and finding you standing strong to page 9 (100 posts per page)! well done :)

Just needed a fix of mumsnet strength💪 So re reading this thread to chart the last 5 weeks.
I heard from him again yesterday. A long rambling text (well 5 texts) saying how he had passed a country pub we had been to a couple of times and then recounted a couple of things that had happened while we were there - one funny, one romantic. Sort of reminiscing- “do you remember when such and such happened” etc.
No apology. No mention of dumping me so coldly.
Arsehole!!!
I guess he is trying to soften me by remembering some good times.
I’m okay, just feeling hormonal today so needed to reread to assure myself I didn’t just dream the whole break up, because from reading his texts you would think none of it had ever happened!!!!

Yeah..he's trying to chip away there by his 'reminiscing' thinking you will crumble, sigh, and think back to when everything was supposedly perfect. Arsehole, indeed!

Can't believe it has been 5 weeks since this happened. Keep strong today. He is the weak one! x

He's really determined to get you to answer. He's trying a number of different approaches. As soon as you answer (which you won't as you are MIGHTY and PHENOMENAL) he will have the power back. I am so happy to know that this won't happen. I've had some devastating break ups but no one has ever texted me and ended it with 'no need to reply'.

The little shit is getting all he deserves.

He’s unexpectedly single Isn’t he? I mean he’s basically talking into a vacuum because you haven’t replied.

@PinkMonkeyBird.Indeed!! Of course I have thought back over these past weeks about good times with him, but more in a bewildering way as I can’t get my mind around the fact that the same person who could be so loving, charming etc could be so cold and cutting with his ‘no need to reply’ text.
Every text since with no apology, no explanation, no thought for how I might be, just makes me walk further away from him, sadly.

so needed to reread to assure myself I didn’t just dream the whole break up, because from reading his texts you would think none of it had ever happened!!!!

To me it's a sign there'd actually something wrong with him mentally/personality disorder. No psychologist but it's bizarre, extreme behaviour.

Is it just that his alternative plan didn't pan out, who knows.

He's just odd think you dodged a bullet there. Imagine if you had kids together and the games he would have played.

I would block him now. He doesn't deserve anymore head space.