Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

@OhCaptain - you should try it, it’s fantastic, should be on the nhs! X

I use dancing :) I think like running, it probably releases endorphins. And I think if you dance/run until you are exhausted it sorta gives you a physical location for the pain/feels and that is satisfying n kinda... comforting I guess. In a strange way.

I'm long over my jerk but when I feel low and mind wanders back to it i still stick some music on and have a good dance :)

@thingsaregoingtochange - that’s very kind of you to say but I’m just feeling my way through bit by bit .
Also, don’t beat yourself up for how your ex acted! Easier said than done sometimes I know, but HE was the one that disappeared . HIS actions are no reflection on you.

@Pinkbonbon - you’ve described it perfectly. Yes, it gives you a physical location for the pain.
I love dancing too, but every bloody song seems to remind me of him in some way. I need some new playlists as I used to play mine when he was here and we’d dance around the kitchen when cooking etc.
Glad it you found something positive that helped. I hope to keep up the running even when I’m long over him. I’d like to be able to say ‘ I got dumped by a jerk but it helped me get super fit!’

@Pinkbonbon do you do dance classes?!

@SalmonOfKnowledge thank you,. Strong is the last thing I feel when I’m sat on kitchen floor sobbing or running into the toilets at work to cry but hopefully that will get less and less.
Your post has made me want a cocktail! 🍸🍸🍸

You Will feel stronger and stronger it's just that old cliche it takes time but you are doing so amazing and you are a total inspiration! I wish when I was younger I had read this thread and saved my dignity

You’re doing so well, OP

Totally stand by for the drama msg, "I lost my job and didn't want to tell you/let you down" or "I've had a health scare and didn't want to burden you" blah blah, that's coming next. We done OP xx

Can't wait for text 5, this is an absolute master class. Well done OP for your strength and resolve.

You really are doing an amazing job!

@TripleSeptic I concur
There will be some embellished OTT shit. He will be trying to provoke you into a reaction so he has his pat ethic whiff of oxygen

ohcaptain
No I just put on the earphones and have a dance. It's not so much dancing as it is jumping around and spinning about like an airplane lol. I love emo music for it cause I can scream along to the lyrics. But plain old dance/trance music is good too if you dont want to be reminded of them.

My neighbours must be like 'what the hell is that loon doing jumping up and down the hall at 4am again?' Haha.

I love that! Good for you!

Yes have yourself a revenge body project!

When his text saying you were childish by not replying arrived, I would have been tempted to screenshot his original text with the 'no need to reply' highlighted, and send that back to him. Not technically replying to his text, but making the point he's being an arse by trying to turn it on you can call you childish. Then I'd block him completely.

You're great OP!

I love returning and reading this thread ❤️
What a great friend in RL OP would be

Just read the whole thread! OP you are my hero and a total legend 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Don't send him ANYTHING. You'll undo all your hard work!

Hi OP,

I have just read the whole thread and wanted to say you sound like such a lovely person. The kind of person I would love to have as a friend.
You have handled yourself with such dignity, I know you don't always feel that way, but you have.
You hold all the power whilst the weasel cowardly Ex has shown his true colours. The pathetic texts he has been sending you prove that. It may not feel like it yet but you've had a lucky escape.

Not replying to him was absolutely the best way to deal with him. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been so strong.

I admire you so much for exercising through the emotional pain. If this was happening to me I would be comfort eating my way through chocolate fudge cake, family size bags of Maltesers and tube after tube of Pringles!
Plus I would be hiding away at home and not going anywhere unless essential. You have continued to go to work, go out running, see friends and rebuild your life step by step. You are simply Awesome!

Keep bouncing your hair and hold your head up high!
Continue to plan lots of lovely fun things to look forward too.
I wish you all the luck in the world going forward. xx

@user1471427667 hope you’re doing ok

You are definitely better off without him.

You are actually quite inspiring!

I just wanted to add to everyone else's support by saying well done on being so incredibly strong, OP, and doing what you've needed to do for yourself. I read this full thread with my jaw on the floor, from the initial message to his follow up texts. I cannot believe his behaviour, and I'm sorry the man you loved turned out to be this person. You sound amazing, and completely capable of getting past this and moving on to better things and someone who deserves you!

You're amazing x