Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

He's so desperate to get you to show some anger so he can pin his guilt on you. Right now the answer to 'why did your last relationship end' is that shitty text that he sent you. Every time someone asks him he'll have to face it or lie or both. You are doing so well in not falling for it. Don't reply.

Keep all communications in case you later need evidence of harassment and then block him.

His punishment should be a literal lifetime of silence from you. Nothing says what you think of him or his relative worth like a forever's worth of cold stoney nothing.

Hi OP. I have literally only just read your thread and was utterly shocked. I wasn't able to ready everyone's replies but I wonder if your ex is somehow the type of person (narc maybe?) who actually ended things just to get a reaction from you? Its like the old game of pushing someone away to get them to cling on to you closer (if that makes sense). Look at the facts, he finishes with you so if he genuinely didn't want you anymore then he would just go about his life now. However, his little game didn't work and not only did you not beg and plead, you ignored him. He doesn't like this so is now trying to initiate some contact in the hope that you will respond.
I would put money on it that if you had replied, he would have eventually told you he had made a mistake. TOTAL LOSER.

No no no don't reply.

Your silence is so dignified and also it's killing his ego which is so deserved.

Nothing to be gained by replying. He would probably disappear anyway and just wanted to know you're there at the end of a string.

You cut those strings and you'll be so better for it.

Another one eith the rage on your behalf here. Wish i could punch him in the face on your behalf. Patronising mother fucker to boot!

Agree with previous posters who say he is trying different approaches to try and get a reaction. Don’t fall for it. Expect other tactics, perhaps he’ll try and get some sympathy by saying something dramatic, or maybe claim someone else sent the original message. Stay silent.
All this and he HASN’T EVEN APOLOGISED.
There is no reply you could send that would be more effective than silence.

Just read the whole thread and I think you're brilliant!

I don't agree with some PPs that he's realising what hes lost. He's lost a gem, of course! But I don't think it's that.

He just can't stand the fact that he didn't get a reaction from you. The absolute dick.

Stay strong! Silence is absolutely the most powerful response!

DO NOT REPLY.

He needs to learn a lesson from this. This is not the way you treat people.

He just can't stand the fact that he didn't get a reaction from you. The absolute dick.

Agree.

Just having a break and reading these messages is really helping. I’m literally nodding at every post on here, thinking ‘yes, exactly!’.
I did think at the ver6 start of this, he would message quite quickly after initial text and apologise and explain more. Not get back together or anything, just end it better. It was all so unlike the ‘him’ I thought I knew. Every scenario of someone taking his phone etc occurred to me - anything to fit the narrative that he was lovely and just wouldn’t have done this.
Then it all started to drop into place - him taking his stuff from my place that last weekend. Him staring at me and saying he didn’t deserve me the last time we made love .
We all make mistakes, do things wrong or handle things badly and then think “ shit, that was bad, need to try and put that right”. But of all his pathetic texts he has sent in last 4 weeks not one of them says sorry or expresses any remorse with what he did. ( To be clear, not the breaking up , but the way he did it).
He is a good looking guy. If he wants his ego feeding then he could go out and find someone easily. He wanted RID of me and he got what he wanted, so why the stupid games ( if that’s what he’s doing)?
This day is going soooooo slowly. Going to try and snap back into my new normal of not having him around and getting on with life.
Feel like I should pay you all £££ for the great therapy you are providing 👍😃.

Hey !
It is just great having someone that listens and follows the advice .

You are doing so well .

You are denting his ego by not be waiting all sad and lonely for when he deems to contact you.

Keep up the silence.

Silence says indifference and gives him the message that he is just not worth your effort.

He’s not contacting you in a fit of remorse, having regretted what he did. He is texting hoping to see you pining, or angry, or anything. But he’s getting nothing. Quiet, understated and dignified and utterly dismissive. Any reply to any of it would just feed his fucked up ego. Onwards and upwards, OP xx
He might try nastier still next, then move into a charm offensive. They’re so pathetically fucking predictable

You are denting his ego by not be waiting all sad and lonely for when he deems to contact you

Yep. Good looking you say OP? Arrogant I would say. Not all good looking people are arrogant btw ...

And honestly, I think the text and no need to reply, after 2 years, it’s beyond arrogant. It’s bloody cruel and icy. Little s*

I still think he is some sort of narc who ended it in such an abrupt way in order to extract some pleading and begging from you. He was deliberately cold in his text in order to get a reaction from you. Otherwise, like you said, he would have ended it in a nicer way. This man is not a nice person at all. He has some serious issues.

He’s not contacting you in a fit of remorse, having regretted what he did. He is texting hoping to see you pining, or angry, or anything

This. He valued your feelings at nothing. He thought he had the total upper hand and that was actually ok because, let's face it, the way you reacted showed you were....oh no....

Dignified? Able to gather your self esteem and move on? Someone who deserved better?

Damnit op, that wasn't his plan at all. I also predict nastier then charm offensive. Don't text back.

I’ve just RTFT and what a giant cuntpuffin he is.

How fucking DARE he accuse you of being childish! You’re amazing OP, far, far too good for that sad little wanker. Now you know what he’s really like I hope you can see you’ve dodged a bullet.

Sign his Mobile number up for everything you can think of so he gets lots of spam calls

Hi OP. I have been following your thread and like so many others have said I think you should feel incredibly proud of how you have handled this situation.

It seems to me his “no need to reply” message really meant “ feel free to reply and tell me how upset you are and how losing me has broke your heart but I call the shots and whilst you boost my ego by texting me that’s fine but I will not acknowledge my shitty behaviour nor give you an explanation and at any point I will disappear again on my terms”. He wanted control of the situation and by not responding you took this away from him.

So here he is back again throwing you crumbs as you did not stroke his ego. He needs a boost coz obviously everything is about him. And still you have kept a dignified silence so his last ditch attempt is to poke at your for a reaction. Cheeky fucker.

Right now you have control (even though it may not feel like it). I know you have so many unanswered questions and he has treated you terribly but please please do not give him the control back by answering him. I doubt you will ever get the answers you deserve and I am sure that if you were to reengage he would shut you down just as quick as he will have got the attention he so desperately craves.

Keep doing what you are doing. I think you are fab too by the way

He doesn't deserve you, totally outrageous that he would end a relationship of 2 years in that way. Thank god you found out what a d**k he is! I know it's a huge shock and adjustment to make but hang in there, things will get better and in time you will meet someone who values and loves you and be thankful of your lucky escape. Hope you have friends you can talk to, try and keep busy and pamper yourself. Really I'm just so angry on your behalf !💐

He's more than met his match with you OP. And we're giving you a fuck off standing ovation for a stellar performance. But do you have mutual friends? He will no doubt be planning his next line of attack via them. And you will need a plan...

This arsehole is so lacking in self awareness that I don't know if it's hilarious or excruciating.

I imagine him sitting looking back at the message thread between you over the last few weeks and it just being all him.

Must be crushing that ego of his. Yet he's still too dumb to think "I know, maybe an APOLOGY would be an idea".

I know it wouldn't make a difference now, but this twat doesn't even think to try?!

Urgh!

So proud of you OP on this turbulent journey of heartache.
My ex dumped me a few days after Dsis had announced her pregnancy. It gave me great satisfaction to keep the exciting news of DNephew’s arrival away from him & seemed to signify how dumping me had made him lose so much joy of being part of a massive family network. I bumped into him 17 years later & he asked about but just not his business. Silence is power. Well done, hang in there.

Isn't it ironic. The stone cold silence approach gave you all the answers you needed about this nasty little turd. But please have a think about any mutual friends and how he might try to rope them in. Ideally, it would be great if he asked after you and they just shrugged a dunno in response