Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

Well Done , followed this and you have been an inspiration to many I'm sure , wish I'd had mumnsnet during break ups in the past , great support and great updates! Enjoy your weekend

Not a hope he won't have contacted OP on Valentine's Day.

That text would be OK if he was someone you had dated once or twice (not a great way to end things, but at least you'd know and not waste any head space on them any more), but to end a 2 year relationship ? What an utter C* womble !

I'd advise NOT replying. If you reply and he doesn't even acknowledge your reply (which is probably what will happen as he doesn't want to 'talk' about it), then you'll just feel worse.

He's a dick head, and you're better off knowing now so you can find yourself a descent human being to share your life with.

How are you @user1471427667

Aaaah, typed out the longest message ever and lost it - does it time our?
Sorry, quick summary .
Got a message from him Friday. Thinking it would be a romantic declaration of love on Valentine’s Day, I braced myself to read it.....
“Hey (pet name). Why aren’t you talking to me? Not like you. Bit childish don’t you think?”
What a Prince !!!!! Needless to say, didn’t reply. Felt every emotion, none of them positive! To be fair, if he hadn’t have text that day, I would have felt crap and if he had said something lovey dovey I would have felt crap too. Just a bad day all round.
Came on the thread Friday night and read the encouraging posts which was so helpful you lovely peeps 😘. Just didn’t feel up to posting and talking about it and wanted to think of positive things like my weekend away.
Weekend was lovely - perfect. Spent probably too much time talking about him, but my friends were ace about it. Also did lots of running in very stormy weather, which was very cathartic, before stuffing Devon scones and cream!
Back to reality now and he had been quiet since Friday. That could have been his last ditch attempt to get some response. My friends think he will try the lovey dovey approach at some point though.
If it comes to it, I will change my phone so I can block him or get a new number if possible. For now, I’m okay though. In a way, I want to see what he says, in case he says he is popping over or something. I want to be forewarned.
I can’t actually believe I’m writing like this about him. 4 weeks ago he was the man I loved and trusted.
Hope you are all okay. Thank you again xxx

What an absolute pillock. His texts make me so angry! Glad you had a lovely weekend away, it sounds like you're doing all the right things and you are well rid of him.
If he was full of apology, remorse etc then I'd still say you were doing the right thing but the fact that he's now trying to turn it round and make out like it's YOU being 'childish' by not responding just shows what kind of man he is - and that's not one you need or want in your life EVER.

His ego will not be allowing him to believe that you could possibly move on so it sounds like he's still thinking you're playing a game and at some point will fall back into his arms. What a prat.

What an absolute twat. You've held your head high and not risen to the bait, he's the childish one and now he's clearly realising what he's lost and can't deal with it so he's deflecting to try and make it seem like you're being unreasonable (which obviously you're not).

HIM - No need to reply

YOU - Silence......

HIM - You're being childish not responding to my lame texts......why aren't you begging me back?

What a twat he is! you have taken back the power and he doesn't like it. Seems he's after an ego boost and whoever he dumped you for wasn't as shiny as he thought. Ha!

So glad you've had a good time! you're doing really well OP! you have strength you didn't know you had.

“Hey (pet name). Why aren’t you talking to me? Not like you. Bit childish don’t you think?”

As a detached observer from the situation, I can honestly say this gave me the rage.

He dumped his gf of two yrs by text, told her there was no need to reply (i.e. I don't want to deal with two seconds of your confusion, upset, anger etc., I just want you to go away without a word) and now asks why she isn't communicating with him and accuses he'd if bring childish!!!!!!

Wtaf? Had this guy got some kind of mental illness, personality disorder, something that makes you utterly utterly selfish, lacking in empathy, unreasonable, ridiculous. There are toddlers with more self awareness, rationality and less selfishness than this guy.

He would've been a shit partner, op.

He has been a bullet dodge. Imagine how he could've acted when you had eg mortgage and kids.

*her of being childish

I knew he wouldn't have been able to resist Valentine's day....the absolute cheek of the prick saying a bit childish not replying!! He is giving me the rage!! I'm so glad you had a lovely weekend and onwards and upwards you are doing amazing and you are so so much better than him! What's the getting he spent his weekend moping thinking well why isn't she replying....the idiot!! Love your strength said it before but you are an absolute queen

Word for word what @GilbertMarkham said!!

He sounds like a prize twat.
First he tells you not to respond and now he is name calling because you haven’t text him back (ironic much?!)

He is obviously desperate for attention. Laugh at him and know you are better off without this ManChild

@wishywashy6 - makes me feel sick that he thinks this might be all some sort of game! Does he not care at all that it’s heartbreaking for me! Obviously not.
He is an intelligent man so must (surely) realise how trying to turn this around onto me etc is never going to result in a mature adult conversation. The time for that was when he broke up with me!
I read a pp saying how reading this thread had made her think of an ex and how respectfully he had broken up with her. When I think back, all my ex’s have broken up with me (or me with them) in a respectful way. It makes me think back on them and our time together fondly.
I can’t imagine doing that this time. He will always be the jerk that sent me the “no need to reply” text in the early hours of the morning after 2 years🙁.
Even, when I start to think of nice memories we had, it’s quickly coloured by how it ended and how he has acted since. It’s like I’m remembering a different person who has died and been replaced with this cheap, manipulative cowardly version that I don’t recognise at all.

It's too painfully raw and sad now I'm sure but every text is showing you what a shit partner who would have been long term. It is sad but for the best he did this now. Some people like him actually leave their wives this way after decades. He is not a good person.

Keep on keeping on love!

He clearly has a personality disorder if he still hasn't the self awareness to realise that his original text followed by no acknowledgment or apology about how utterly shit that was after 2 years together, is the problem here. He is an embarrassment , you have absolutely dodged a bullet.

@user1471427667 either he's had half his brain removed and completely forgotten the fact he's treat you like utter shite and finished with you over text OR this is all a big game for him and he's trying to lure you back into responding to him so he can act the victim.
Either way, he's a prick and you're well rid. I think you're amazing 👌🏼

@GilbertMarkham. Great post, thank you, I needed to hear that. I know it’s true and would say exactly the same to someone else, but somehow when it’s you, you doubt yourself when you are in your darkest place.
I’ve gone from fury to bewilderment to questioning myself to sadness and now I find it faintly amusing .

@mcmooberry. I’m beginning to think you’re right. How could I not have noticed it though after 2 years together??
@Friendsofmine. I know. In my darkest times, I just thank God we didn’t marry and have children. I can’t imagine the pain

WTAF? Resorting to name calling because you aren't doing what he wants.

My friend's DH is like this. If he wants to go out drinking on a Friday and get smashed, and she comments that it might impact on their family day on Saturday, he calls her controlling and a nag and other crappy things.

You've not just dodged a bullet, you've dodged the whole bloody army x

Afraid just for pettiness' sake I would reply something along the lines of

"Wow are you a mind reader I was just about to text the same! Be happy!"

I would text back for closure, no need indeed, and tell him what I thought of him. Then block.

I honestly can't believe these updates.
You are incredible.
And he needs to come with a public health warning.

I think I would be tempted to reply along the lines of "My choice whether I reply or not. Thanks for letting me know by text. Didn't take you for a coward. Relieved you have shown me who you really are before things got serious."

But agree with others that it's probably best to remain silent!

What a prize dick he is saying "no need to reply" so utterly selfish and superior and loathsome all at the same time.

You deserve so much better op

Oh sorry, missed a whole page out there somehow and missed your update op! See that he is calling you "childish" for not communicating after telling you there was no need to reply.

.

Words fail me.
He obviously finds it totally impossible to see things from another point of view so you've definitely dodged a bullet.

Take care .