Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

How dare he?!? A question mark???
He hasn’t even got the guts to write you a proper message with an explanation and an apology.
I wonder if the question mark indicates he is starting to get annoyed. Which, if he is, is another illustration that he is not worth your time.
Don’t you DARE start to feel as if you have done anything wrong. You haven’t!
I feel like I am maybe too invested in this thread but I am so impressed by your dignity and just want to keep letting you know that silence is the best thing in this situation. Well done!

It's like going through cold turkey - weaning yourself off. Your strength and your resolve are inspiring OP. Well done for continuing to maintain an incredibly dignified silence despite how hard it is to do.

The sad thing is that he somehow thinks a limp hey and a question mark are all it takes to reel you back in.

I’m not saying he had to be as eloquent as Cyrano de Bergerac, but a hey, I miss you and a question mark. How low effort is that?

I’m so glad you haven’t responded. The silence is torturing him.

I cannot believe his audacity. How DARE he. His most recent texts are offering no explanation, no apology, no recognition of the hurt he has caused you. Just stupid question marks and words. Your strength is astounding OP - and I love the way every single poster on here is applauding you. You are a total inspiration and you deserve WAY better than this.

OP I followed this thread from the beginning and I'm so glad to read that you've stayed strong!

What an absolute plum he is, messaging you out of the blue as if you'll fall to your knees and be grateful!

Revenge is a dish best served cold and his pie must be tasting awful!

The very fact that he keeps messaging is proof enough that he is bothered by your silence. Let him squirm. I hope you are OK and I know it must be so hard.

Another follower here OP stay strong you've got this 💪 what a complete tosser he is x

I love that fact that the tables have turned and you now have all the power.

Well done on taking the advice of posters here and not contacting him. Can’t say I would have had that kind of will power.

He is getting a taste of his own medicine and he has no one to blame but himself.

And just keep in mind that you do not love THIS man.

You love a man who no longer exists. Mourn that man. But don’t confuse him with this one.

The absolute bloody cheek of the man! To treat you like that and then send you such pathetic messages!
It'll be driving him mad to get no response. More importantly though, It's the absolute best thing to do for yourself too - don't get drawn back in, just focus on yourself and getting your life back on track.

You are doing marvellously!

Hi OP. Well done for standing firm. Prepare yourself for a GRAND GESTURE from him as an attempt to wrest back control.

If it comes, before you respond to it just read back this thread from the beginning and remind yourself of what he is capable of without warning while acting as if he is deeply in love with you.

My friend is coming over after work to sort out my phone. She knows a way to stop messages popping up on my screen ( they still get sent, but I’d have to go onto my texts to look for them). It sounds good as I hate the shock of suddenly seeing a text pop up from him. I’ve deleted him as a contact but know his number off by heart so know immediately it’s him.
Friend is also bringing wine and I feel safe having a glass as she will be working on my phone and keeping it from me. I’ve also lost 8lbs (yay for the heartbreak diet!) so am a complete lightweight with alcohol now.
Meant to say before, so much of what you have all said rings so true. A pp mentioned the fact that rather it being me missing him, it’s me missing what I thought he was. That really helps get it straight in my head when I’m feeling low and missing him.

FFS! By the fourth text I'd have expected him to at least have made some sort of apology or said something of some significance (in his eyes). But a question mark? His arrogance knows no fucking bounds.

Send the thick arsehole a link to this thread. Shown him just how many people think he's scum.

No don't send him a link. It would be an invasive open door into the OP's thoughts and feelings at this time.

The brass neck of this nob - a question mark!

I am SO happy you haven't replied please please please don't be tempted to. At all.

I would probably block now because whereas earlier on he'd have taken that as a signal you care and are too upset to speak to him and I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction I think now it will feel to him (accurately) like he's being a nuisance, you're bored of it and the door is absolutely shut.

You've been a fucking hero the way you've played this.

Do.
Not.
Reply.

Is there a way of not letting your phone contact a certain number? Like a kind of reverse block? Just wondered if there's an app for that as it would then mean even in a moment of weakness you can't.

Keep going you legend

I agree that he is unbelievably arrogant not to make an apology and an attempt at an explanation by now.

That's why it was scored out. It wasn't a serious suggestion, just a nice thought of denting the ego.

Keep thinking of things to add( and I haven’t even had any wine yet!)
The killer punch was him originally saying “no need to reply”. It honestly felt like a punch in the guts - like I was an old piece of paper that he could screw up and toss away and not think anything of it. No conversation, just gone.
But that same phrase is actually what spurs me on when I’m at my lowest, so he shot himself in the foot there.
Wanker!! Love shouting that word out loud ..... WANKER!!!

Oh sorry, I always read scored out text as sub voce suggestions.

If it's WhatsApp he's using..

Add his name & no to your phone book. Go to whatsapp (as if you were going to text him). Click on his name at the top of the screen. It should bring up a menu that says "contact info"

Scroll down and the option for block contact is there. He will no longer to be able to ring OR text you on WhatsApp.

You are so amazing, I haven't commented before but I admire how firm you are being. I would not be so strong. Keep on keeping on OP

He is such a selfish dick. You deserve so much better.

He would be able to tell if he has been blocked on WhatsApp, and I still think no reaction at all is better than blocking (for now)
You can ‘mute’ a conversation in WhatsApp, so you don’t get notifications, the message is just there when you open WhatsApp but won’t pop up on your screen or anything. That might be an option.
I would leave him unblocked for now, partly because it’s no reaction, probably partly out of curiosity, and mainly because these messages continue to show his true colours, which as he’s being a tool will make you feel better in the long run. Plus if you block him he might be more likely to turn up etc.
If his messages become very frequent and annoying though maybe you might have to block. There are only my thoughts though OP and obviously you have to do what is right for you.

Ex told him that when he dumped me he never thought that I would move on and would always pine for him. He said he didn't realise that when he dumped me that that meant that I could move on. Mutual friend told ex that he was an idiot.

That is a special kind of fucking stupid.

OP, you are absolutely brilliant. Yes, you feel bad when he texts, but it is early days, of course you will. And I'm sure the thought of all these Mumsnetters pissing themselves as he sends his texts and getting no reply helps.

Imagine him - this is not how it was supposed to happen. Whether he's planning a re-dump or whether he just wants you to grovel so he can condescend to get back together with you, this is not not the way it was meant to go. I can almost hear him saying "yeah, but no, but yeah but......"

I thought of a quote from Blazing Saddles for if he did send you flowers on Friday: "Flowers? How..... Ordinary."

Stay strong and treat yourself to bubbly. It's what goddesses drink.

Yet another thought, every time he messages you, try and make his text sink off your screen by sending a lot of messages to other friends and family etc. Not only will it stop you seeing his last text every time you check your messages, but it will get conversations going with other people and take your mind off him a bit. I know it has helped me in the past!

You can block numbers from texting you..I have.