Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

Just wanted to come back and give you a massive hug. I hope you're feeling good today.

Thank you@Nomorelaundry for the hug and for the collective support from this entire thread.
I had a bad night last night. Couldn’t sleep again and got up at 2am . I did what a few pp had suggested and wrote down everything I wanted to say to the selfish cowardly bastard. Not sure if it helped or not, but my hope is that I can look at it again in months to come and realise I don’t feel that way anymore.
I actually don’t think I’ll hear from him ever again. I feel like I’ve lost a part of me.
Going to look through some of the other messages added to this thread since I last looked. Thank you again everyone x

I like your post @SmellyBeard about not questioning myself about HIS actions. I’ve gone over and over everything ( probably to an unhealthy degree) and I can be very tough on myself, but I know I did nothing to deserve that cruel cut off. That’s on him.
@P999. - Thank you for your comments. No, I don’t think he will contact me now and I want to get to a place where it doesn’t matter to me either way if he does or not.
@NRPDad - I understand what your saying, but at this point I don’t think he will contact me ever again. Either way, I need to try to not let that concern me and keep moving forwards. I have deleted his number, but know it off by heart anyway. I don’t do Facebook!

@EdieEllen09 - I’m sorry that happened to you, 5 years! I’m really trying not to do the torturous going over everything but easier said than done. In my more logical moments, I know his actions are down to him.
I think we have to get closure from within ourselves. I’m not looking to him to do that. I can’t explain it properly but I know it’s a process I’m going through and I will come to peace myself about it all one day whether he chooses to ever explain himself or not.

@user1471427667

Going to be honest;his behaviour:picking up his stuff,ending it by text,the distance etc I detect undertones of him taking advantage of the fact you aren't on each other's doorstep and may have been cheating and just doesn't have the balls to own up to it.

Dumping you via text and telling you not to text back and taking his stuff so he doesn't have to come back for it means he gets to dodge the "why" question.

You deserve so much better.

Interesting post @75Renarde. A couple of friends have mentioned him showing some narcissistic traits. However, I’m not going to ‘diagnose’ him. I’m also trying to move away from constantly thinking about why he did things, what happened with him, was he going through something etc etc. At the end of the day only he can really answer those questions. So, I could drive myself to despair overthinking every detail of our relationship ( and I have at times had to pull myself away from doing just that!) Or, I could try as I am, to concentrate on myself, on ways to get back on my feet and move on.

I know @popsydoodle4444. This is what hit me with full force in the early hours of this morning, which is when I got up and wrote down my thoughts entitled “ Dear Snivelling Coward” classy eh😂?!
The coldness of it all is what makes it all so hard. But again, that makes me realise I can’t be with someone who is capable of that.
Thank you for your honesty

I’m sorry if I’ve missed anyone out in replying. I do truly appreciate all of you taking the time to write on this thread. It is helping me more than you can know.
I’ve been on autopilot today at work, just sort of numb. Going to try a yoga class later . Hopefully I will reach a. Zen like state rather than sob into the mat !

Well done OP, i think the fact that you didnt reply would make him this you werent that bothered anyway... he probably wanted you grovelling to boost hid ego.

OP I would try as much as you can to prepare yourself for feeling shit for the next while. This may feel like worthlessness, emptiness, sadness, incredulity, depression. The natural thing is not to want to feel feelings like this, but it's important to let them in for a bit. Make sure you have a few things planned at the weekend to get out. Avoid boozing too much. All these feelings will pass but they take time.

Op I keep checking this thread, you are doing so well. Mumsnet is fully behind you

I keep reading this thread as well and well done you you are doing amazing and been so so strong. One of my biggest realizations has always been you can't control the actions of others but you can control your reactions to them and so you are reacting brilliantly. Do not reply and keep focusing on you and learning to love yourself again x

How are you user1471427667?

Op haven’t RTWT

But if you managed to not reply, legend

He has made his mind up and probably had someone else lined up
And you know that someone that callous is no major loss

Sit on your hands

Onwards

I really hope OP comes back and let's us know how she is

Two years is a very long time! Your worth an explanation, don't give him that satisfaction of trying to sort it out because he's completely disregarded you but you need closure otherwise you'll never not ask yourself why he never told you why, you'll always wonder the reasons. Good luck! x

Another one wishing the op all the best

Hey, I know how you feel my babies dad has just literally done the same to me 4 days ago. It’s been so hard to get my head round, I’ve done so much for him the whole time we’ve been together ( really put my self out thejr ) and then he decided to text me when he was at work ended it and then asked me to pack his stuff and drop it to his moms house. I can’t believe it! He’s told
Me tho he’s got no reasons for his actions and no explanation for what he’s done. These last 4 days I’ve tried so much to try and work it out, but in the process made my self look desperate and stupid because I’m trying to save my family. But I don’t know what I’m
Saving it from if that makes sense. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do, I’m not sleeping I can’t switch off how men do this to women is beyond me!

I hope you heal quickly and you get closure in your life as soon as possible ❤️

How are you doing OP?

Hi all,
I’ve only just looked at this thread again after a while and realised there are new messages on here. Thank you all for your support.
I’ve basically been trying to get on with my life as best I can. Some days I can get through without feeling as if I’ve lost a limb, some days, not so successful.
So, this morning, after over 3 weeks of silence, I get a text from him.
What, I hear you say, is the earth shattering message he wants to convey? What does he say that makes everything okay and explains why he dealt such a devastating blow to our relationship?
The text said.........”Hey”
That’s it. One word. Three letters. All this time, I was desperate to hear from him, but now I wish he hadn’t bothered. I would rather have heard nothing . I was so churned up seeing I had a message from him. ( I had deleted him as a contact, but still knew it was his no when it popped up). Then after seeing it, I just felt pure anger! I don’t know how I stopped myself texting him back to fuck off!
I haven’t replied, busy morning at work which helped, but he has been on my mind even more than usual. Came on this thread to give me courage again .

Sorry, it’s not a more upbeat update. My ‘Tesco car park moment’ seems farther away then ever!!!!

Do not reply or do anything.

Horrible horrible man.

I hope this doesn't set you back 😕

I honestly think he is just after the ego boost of knowing you still care, but that's it. Contacting him will just lead to more pain.

He's going to try and worm back in. He is pathetically testing the waters. Ignore him completely he is dreadful and you deserve better xxxx

I expect if you don't reply he will message again. You might want to block, if you feel able to.

It's natural to want answers but I don't he can give you one that won't either hurt you more or make his behaviour towards you to be your fault in some way.

What a fucking cock he is.
I would have replied 'fuck off' so well done for holding back.
Now block him!!!!!!

You could say, who is this? But I wouldn’t bother.