Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

Hey, don’t apologise for feeling how you do. It’s barely been a week since he revealed what a jerk he is & honestly I think anger is your friend atm. You’ve done so well not to contact the fucktard but unfortunately there’s no way of avoiding the range of emotions that comes with grieving the loss of what you thought you had. It never ceases to amaze me how men are able to be so fake & duplicitous when it suits them. It’s scary. I’m 5 weeks on from realising the man I loved is in fact a cruel prick & I’m still reeling, but know this too shall pass. I blocked him after receiving a couple of weak as piss texts (without replying). He is now emailing. Like you , I have been tempted to reply with something cutting but have come to the conclusion I would be wasting my breath & it would only give him an ego boost. As I cheer you on for staying NC, I’m reminding myself I’m doing the right thing by not giving him the satisfaction of knowing how I am. Would be nice to magic away the time it’ll take to look back on it with zero emotion wouldn’t it 🌞

OP I was dumped quite hideously and unexpectedly whilst abroad on holiday with him. Shocked was an understatement. I just couldn’t believe it and had to get through the rest of the holiday in a small apartment with him and then drive the prick home from the airport. I know the pain you’re going through. Try to keep yourself busy. And very well done for not replying to him. I sent my ex a ranty email when we got home. I really regret that now and wish I’d been more dignified. The pain does pass in time and not being in contact definitely helps.

So normal to be googling ‘how to get your ex back’ - I bought a load of kindle books on that subject when my ex asked us to move out . But, my god, I had so much power over him when I went cold and acted like I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care but I did care. So much. I had been so in love and so happy for our future. It was very traumatic when he asked us to move out. The shame I felt was indescribable. I went into a deep depression. It was hard to function and work and look after my young DCs.

I don’t understand how your DP could be so cold and unkind. How did he think you would feel? I’m shocked and I don’t even know you.

This guy was not for you. And I guarantee you will be happier in the long term.

I got my DP back (by being cold and living my best life) and he came back and wanted to get married. But it was never the same and I shouldn’t have wasted my time on him. I never got over the hurt and I was always preparing for another bombshell breakup.

You are grieving and in shock and all your feelings are so normal. Keep posting here when you need support. I guarantee your story will help others.

Ps Embarrassingly, I still stalk my exDP on SM even though it’s been years . I act so cool but at least now I can laugh at myself

PPS the engagement ring was gorgeous and I still have it

There will be ups and downs getting through this. But you will!

Instead of Get Your Ex Back videos on YouTube may I recommend this video (hope it works). I used it after a breakup that I instigated, but still listen to it before bed as it's so relaxing. It's gentle meditative / hypnosis, and I listened every day for months!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=BjeXSq_so84

I can't believe it's so common but I was dumped hideously years ago.

Had a year long LDR with a guy who decided to move to London. He found a job, flatshare and was going to college. We had a holiday booked, were planning to look for a flat together. He walked me to station after a perfect night (wonderful sex, lots of intimacy and "I love you's"). He kissed me goodbye, told me once again he loved me and that was it. Never saw him again!! He'd been on London for best part of a year, never mentioned any issues. He had friends here, had built a life? And he just left it all.

He did at least have the decency to call me [on my work phone!!] to tell me he hated London, was going home and had bagged up my stuff which I could collect from his flatmate . No real apology, no mention of going back to LDR, no real choice on my part. He was done.

I sat at my desk in a state of shock and got the delightful follow up text "sorry Crunchy, just to avoid any future aggro I'm not going to use this number going forwards and please don't turn up at my parents as I have younger siblings to think of" he obviously knew I would have torn him a new arsehole so was pre-empting me!!! I'd invested two years of my life with him and lost the holiday to boot.

This was before smart phones and social media and despite what he thought of me I didn't travel several hundred miles to harass him and his family!!

I did drive myself a bit batty by periodically trying his mobile number for some time after and it was always off #notproud

The lack of closure did really get under my skin but this was almost 20 years ago now and I have had a very happy life, no lasting damage (have been with lovely DP for well over a decade now!!)

Do not message or call him.

I cant believe so many of you have similar stories, some of them a lot worse than mine. In a way it’s comforting that I’m not alone, but in another, quite horrifying that so many cold seemingly heartless cowards exist.
I admit, I’ve had a real wallow today, but am trying to get a grip now. Have just had a shower and am going to get dressed and my sister is coming over later.
Thank you all for showing me that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Weekends are always the worse because you have more time on your hands. You will get through this.

I really hope you're OK.

I watch Dr Pimple popper when I'm down 🤦‍♀️ I don't know why. But it just makes me feel better.

I’m so impressed you haven’t replied! Good for you. A few things to think about whenever you are tempted to text:

1. That no response is a response. And it’s a very powerful one.

1. Imagine the smug look on his face when he sees your text and thinks to himself, “So she does still want me... Yeah, I still don’t want her though...”.

1. If you find yourself having convinced yourself that you need to text him, promise yourself that you will let yourself but you have to wait 24 hours first. I am pretty certain if you wait 24 hours you will change your mind.

All the best. I wish that, in my run-ins with these low-life men, I had conducted myself with half the grace and dignity you have.

Frothandbubble - really appreciate your message, along with all the rest.
Yep, already promised myself that if I get the urge I will make myself wait 24hours. In fact I’m doing that every day. I wake up and think, I won’t contact him today. If I had to think about never contacting him ever, it would hurt and seem impossible right now, but little by little, one day at a time, I’ll get through it.

Maddogcow. - thank you again. Your story sounds awful and you had children. I just can’t imagine how hard that must have been.
Interesting how you say you got him back but it was never the same.
I was thinking this while watching this YouTube videos today. It would never be the same again if he came back. Me, loving and trusting him 100% would be gone. Don’t get me wrong, my ego would probably like it and it would feel comforting for a short while, but how could I ever come to terms with the way he went about doing this and what it says about him?
It’s that thought that makes me the saddest. There is no hope of a happy ending. Well not with him anyway, and I don’t want to think about anyone else in that way at the moment.
Crunchymum - that is hideous what happened to you. It’s crazy how someone so close can just cut all ties, just like that. I wonder if this sort of thing has got more common since the mobile phone? It’s so easy isn’t it for the cowards to just send a text

what a coward. that is pathetic.

I have read and taken so much comfort from everyone who has replied on this thread, so thank you and sorry I can’t reply to everyone personally. My sister on her way over so must go.
Another day without contacting him - 6 days 👍😘

“New phone...who dis?”

I agree, fucking cheek of him telling you that you cannot even RESPOND to what is really shocking news.

He sounds an arsehole.

I would disobey him and take him down a peg by responding ''Agreed, not feeling it. Take care''

Oh wow, you went six days without responding. Well done!

OP on behalf of every woman who has ever been dumped, I applaud you, you are INCREDIBLE!!!
I can only think of two words to describe him and never use either of them.
Walk into your bright shiny future with your new bouncy hair and live your best life.
I'm sure the silence is tormenting him.
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 for you and well done !!!

I'd put money on him getting in touch, right when you couldn't care less either way so no use to you right now.

Keep on keeping on, you are doing so well!

Read through the thread and I think you're awesome OP. You're doing so well and not replying is definitely the best idea so keep at it. You sound so lovely in your posts so it's definitely his loss. I do think down the line he'll be in touch.
I saw a meme about men and women dealing with break ups differently. At first a man feels free, goes out with the 'lads' and turns off his emotions and buys himself a games console. At first a woman is sad, upset and struggling with the loss.
By the end of a month the man is crying and missing his ex, emotional to the max after cutting them off and wondering if it can all be repaired. The woman though is finally free, has moved on and has no desire to look back.
I don't know if there's truth to this but it once made me feel better.

Keep being strong. You are so much better off without him. He is such a loser and it's definitely his loss x

Another one who thinks you're amazing. He has treated you appallingly but you have held on to your dignity and not given him the satisfaction of him telling his friends how devastated you are at his loss etc etc.

Ignore him.he will.soon be back

Hope you are having a lovely evening with your sister.
You are doing really well.

Well done, you are doing amazingly ! I've had 2 men who rejected me (though not in such a cruel manner) 'come back' when I was well and truly over them and just did not care. I'm sure if he does come back then you will feel the same and will tell him where to go, or will have met someone better by then :)

Just read the whole thread OP and you are so dignified and strong.

I admire that so much.

What an idiot he is, letting somebody like you go.

But you are going to be just fine. You'll have your Tesco car park moment.