Man niggles.

[loveyoutothemoon]

What niggles would make you end a new relationship?

Going to get rid of this. Thanks everyone.

Does anyone think that I should give this man another chance?

Hahaha gawd no.

I'm glad you got his messages to you deleted, that was a bit cruel. But give him another chance? Are you having a laugh?

Thanks. A friend said she probably would. I'm not thinking of doing but wanted to see if anyone thought the opposite of everyone else on the thread.

I kind of felt sorry for him from his texts - he remained very civil, conciliatory and respectful while being dumped (though sometimes people are like that until they re sure there's no chance of not reconciling, then they get nasty) however his behaviour is weird and inappropriate (and creepy I suppose) and if he can just turn it off and stop doing it; why hasn't he in his previous marriage/relationships .. or with you (you said you asked him to stop more than once?) .. and you shouldn't have had to ask, because it's not normal.

It just seems so unlikely he'll just stop easily, totally something not normal, that he shouldn't have had to be told to stop.

Plus his idea if boundaries and intimacy seems to be weird - like you're close to someone in a relationship si that means you get your cock out and talk about it all the time at home - wtf?!

Even if he were to stop (??) .. would you still be turned off and unsettled etc by the fact that that was what his behaviour was like?

*no chance of reconciling

How does he/ can he hold down a job with his penis obsession? Is that why he's so strapped for cash?

Gross.. no. Just no. Nonononono no.. no.

@GilbertMarkham thanks for that. That's what's crossed my mind (a lot of what you've said), especially with feeling unsettled with past behaviour. I find him so strange. There's a side to him which I really like, he's interesting, great at conversation and a good listener. It's honestly like there's two of him, really hard to explain, like there's a reason for his immaturity. But at the moment I can't see me changing my mind.

Don't go back. Even if (and it's a huge if) he manages to rein in his obsession with thinking and talking about sex, you will constantly be wondering whether it's going to re-emerge (if you see what I mean!).

My XP has absolutely no idea (despite my telling him repeatedly) how offputting it is for him to constantly be mentioning his erection, how turned on he is by something, what he's thinking of doing to me. He genuinely thinks this is how people behave in relationships. Maybe I'm projecting, but he, for one, is unable to move past the juvenality and I don't think your ex, at his age, is suddenly going to grow out of doing what he's been doing for the whole of his past, even if you tell him how much it upsets you (again).

@Zapho I agree with all of that.

Are you in a happy relationship now?

Wonders if it could be my XH .......

@KitKatBox what makes you think that?

No don't. He is immature which is fine if you want to be around a man that has mentally stuck at 12 but he is an emotional pygmy too. His texts back to you are illustration enough of this.
He doesn't get it because he is incapable of putting himself in the shoes of someone that wants to interact with a grown up.
He is a walking Carry On film. Great for a wet weekend near Easter but not all the frigging time!
Although you have discussed boundaries and clearly stated you are uncomfortable with all the cock stuff, it's gone in one ear and out the other.
He doesn't give a shit about your boundaries because he is driven to vent this trait in his personality. He has carried on, knowing it gives you the heebies.

Don't be with someone you have to make such huge allowances for, right from the outset. This will be the EXACT reason he is single OP I guarantee it.
You want an equal partner in life, not a horny Jack Russell that can smell the bitch from Sunnyside Farm four miles upwind!

Thanks for explaining that. And funny that, I live at Sunnyside Farm too!!

JOKE!! 😂

In fact, analysing what he put in those texts, he was even sexualising your mention of boundaries by saying something about there being no boundaries between you both or some such shizz!

He looks at life through a pair of joke, straight off the pier at Blackpool, boob shaped spectacles!

Go back to him and you will lose all respect for yourself down there on Sunnyside Farm

I'm single now, loveyoutothemoon, and very happily so.

He actually put me off men. On our last sexual encounter, I was having a bit of pain (am post meno, so suffer from dryness and thinning skin, all that loveliness). I said 'ow, it's hurting'. His response? 'It'll stop in a minute...' as he carried on thrusting.

The aversion therapy was most effective.

Christ almighty Zaphodsotherhead that is shocking!

Makes you wish your bed had an eject button!

Glad you're happy. But that is absolutely disgusting selfish behaviour from your ex. I'm glad you dumped him!

I'm really happy being single. Not sure why I try with men!

I'm feeling quite flat and need someone to cheer me up. Normally, after I've finished a relationship I bounce back very quickly, not that I've had many in the past 8 years! Need to stop being so pathetic!

You could get glammed up and take some photos and try a little tinder maybe? Just for the rights swipes for the ego boost, you don't need to talk to anyone :)

Pink good idea thanks. I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself. Next time, I'm going to try my best not to get too excited about someone. It was the best I'd felt for years.

Lots of the time the excitement is the best part. Before they ruin it! Lol.

You should spoil yourself this week!
Do something you enjoy. Splurge.