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Original poster

Contact from the other woman

367 replies

FMO1976 · 16/01/2020 17:18

I have just received a text from the woman I suspected my husband was having an affair with - it arrived when we were in the car together and it was read out through the car speakers.

She said she felt that needed to tell me - people are gossiping at work, and she has told him to stop the contact. What should I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
FMO1976 · 18/01/2020 10:47

Arse this morning about insisting he has his full 2 hour gym work out and he yet to speak to the kids this morning as he had a lie in / ignored them.

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 18/01/2020 10:48

Each post maybe 30 secs

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GiveHerHellFromUs · 18/01/2020 11:45

You pretend your kids are the reason you won't leave but do you not think it's damaging to them that he clearly has no interest in them at all?

12elve · 18/01/2020 11:56

What do you want from this thread OP?

YasssKween · 18/01/2020 11:59

You pretend your kids are the reason you won't leave but do you not think it's damaging to them that he clearly has no interest in them at all?

This. I'm not sure this thread is going to do anything for you except keep your mind whirring when you clearly aren't anywhere near being ready to change anything.

Newschapter · 18/01/2020 14:09

What do you mean you think he was with the other woman when your child rang him.

Where did he tell you he was at? Did he just not come home?

I don't follow this - you seem very much a walkover who offers no consistency to your children.

By allowing him to treat your kids the way he is, you're every bit to blame.

BasilOfBakerStreet · 18/01/2020 22:36

This 'staying together for the kids' narrative is so tiresome.

Most relationships don't end too soon, most go on way too long.

Don't stay together for the kids, split up for the kids.

angieloumc · 19/01/2020 12:49

What are you letting your child ring him when you suspect he won't answer?

Elbels · 19/01/2020 13:05

At 11am on a Saturday your husband still hadn't spoken to his own young children and they were in the same house? I fail to understand how you think they are getting anything positive out of their relationship with their father and why that would be a reason to stay.

Also in your previous thread you said that you made six figures and he made ten times that, so I'm pretty sure also that your lifestyle is far from ordinary.

lilmishap · 19/01/2020 13:18

Has the other thread been deleted?

lilmishap · 19/01/2020 13:22

His view will be that he wants to have fun and enjoy his free time, and he can’t figure a way to do that with the kids

AKA he hates his family life and he deserves better, but he doesn't deserve the aggro of leaving & paying & being that cunt who walked out. In his head anyway.

Your kids don't deserve this bullshit. It's a shame you don't agree

notapizzaeater · 19/01/2020 13:30

You need to get angry, don't let him pull all the shots

TSSDNCOP · 19/01/2020 13:31

Anyone else thinking “fuck me, those poor kids?”.

lilmishap · 19/01/2020 13:42

@TSSDNCOP They're going to hate both their parents for this. OP can't be a great mum right now as she's bent over with her pants round her ankles crying and obsessing about some bloke who isn't even there anymore.

OP stand up and tell him to Fuck Off, put your kids first. If he knows his kids aren't at home waiting for him to drop in, he might miss them. He probably won't. But if he get's the fuck out, you might meet someone who isn't such a shithead. They would appreciate being the centre of the home rather than a hindrance.

Which they are, the whole time he's there and you're using them as an excuse to further the misery.

lilmishap · 19/01/2020 13:43

Oh and I think she knew you were in that car, she's pissed he's still with you too.

TorkTorkBam · 19/01/2020 14:41

I couldn't live with someone who found my children to be an irritant.

CalleighDoodle · 19/01/2020 20:01

How was the weekend op? @FMO1976

Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:19

@TorkTorkBam

It’s hard - but better than then being with him every weekend on their own as he does his ‘duty’

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:20

@CalleighDoodle

Pretty terrible!

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:20

@angieloumc

They ring about the same time each night before we read stories for bedtime

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:24

@lilmishap

Completely true. He hates the monotony and repetitiveness of family life - he has said it many times. All feels like a massive chore to him. And as a result he hates me and the kids I expect for ‘trapping’ him. Went off working overseas for the week again this morning (that’s definitely true). I did mention that he barely see the kids and he said I was with them all yesterday - partially true as he took the eldest to a party and worked while she did the activities (fair enough) while I tool the younger one out and then he took them to his parents in the afternoon and out for a walk. Think he deserves a medal!

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:26

@lilmishap

When I said what would you do otherwise he said go to the gym more (3 hours each day at the weekend) and work harder.

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Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 08:26

One day he’ll regret it all - I have no doubt.

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Gazelda · 20/01/2020 10:37

I think that you're going to look back with a lot of regrets too OP.

Original poster
FMO1976 · 20/01/2020 10:57

@Gazelda

From my perspective I am sure I will.

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