@RamonLark - I have to admit - My first time with someone new after a 15 year relationship I was so nervous I was basically paralysed. It was dreadful. Second time I was much more relaxed and it worked far better. If you feel like you want to try again then give it another go, but if you don't - don't bother.
OK. So I need some input please. A brief recap for those who are new/don;t remember.
Back in November, a bare 2 months after my split I briefly met up with Mr Long Distance (then known as Mr Beard). We matched because he was staying near me on holiday and met for a short walk on his way home. We clicked, there was chemistry and I felt something I really wasn't expecting.
We arranged to meet for a longer date a couple of weeks later. In the interim we chatted often, especially via video chat and really got on well. I was looking forward to the date, then he went a bit quiet, said he was struggling with some stuff (I think he was a bit low) and he would get back to me in a week. Fine. Except when he got back to me it was 3 days before our date and he wanted to cancel it. He'd been feeling low. He couldn't deal with a long distance relationship. He really liked me but it just wasn't right etc etc.
I tried to stay friends and just chat to him but a few days later he got a bit short with me and I decided not to bother and, with your wise words in my head, just blocked and deleted.
A week before Christmas I got a notification he'd been looking at my LinkedIn. Two days after Christmas a notification he was following me on IG. NYE he sent me a message saying Happy New Year and asking to call me in a few days. I gave it a week and was just thinking if he hadn't got in touch within a week he wasn't going to when he did. So he called and was really lively and chatty and enthusiastic. He told me he regretted cancelling our date and that he wanted to give things between us a chance. We set a date to meet up the first weekend of Feb.
I haven't gone overboard messaging him since then. If he messaged I replied and once or twice I've messaged him, but on those occasions chat has been brief and not led to a video chat (his preferred method of communication). I checked and the last message I sent him (after a lacklustre chat) was "Ok. Well I'll leave you to it then. Give me a shout when you're feeling chatty" to which I got a thumbs up emoji. It's basically put the ball in his court.
I'm honestly a bit divided here. I've not been over-investing in him because, let's face it, he cancelled on me so that's a mark against him, but then he's pursued me since then, so I assumed he was keen, but then hit or miss contact since...
Basically: do I go along to the date, see how it goes and if the connection is still there (because goodness knows there's a possibility it was all tied up with my broken heart and desperation to find love when I was so vulnerable, rather than genuine feelings)? If it does go well I would be having a serious chat about what 'casual dating' means to him (so we have no confusion) and stating that I need a bare minimum of contact between dates in order for me to want to continue dating.
Or do I just contact him and call it off now? I am curious about whether there's something there, but I don;t much like this half-arsed communication style. Even if it's caused by him being focused on his life and work and kind of... compartmentalising me as "well we have a date set, I'll see her and talk to her then" as opposed to not seeing me as important... do I want to be in this situation? I'm really divided and could use some opinions.
My gut instinct is to go on the date, but be prepared to draw hard boundaries and expect him to baulk at them. Yes?
I do know my worth and I need a man who doesn't make me doubt his interest or feelings. He's halfway there (having pursued me) but the lack of communication is an issue. I'd be happy with a once-weekly call, I just need to know I'm in his thoughts.
Sorry for long message. This has been swirling round my head for days now.