Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I think I’ll do a card for Valentine’s Day, possibly go out for a meal but maybe not on actual Valentine’s Day.

I’ve been seeing my iron for about 13 weeks, and apart from having to pull him up about shitty communication (which is now much better) I think I’m really falling for him. He makes me feel a way I’ve never felt before when I’m with him.

@sunshineandflipflops I've never been too in to it myself, def the overpriced stuff but dont think I'd like it to pass without doing anything. I guess cooking sounds good. lots of the cards can be pretty lovey dovey, dont wanna scare him off.

saw a funny card idea that basically rambled saying "i know we're not really together together, dont know why I'm sending this, it doesn't even have a heart so basically I'm just saying hi" but not sure if it's a bit late for that and dont want to be too flippant.

or do I want to say what I really think. aargh I'm a classic over thinker when it comes to relationships !

@crazycatlady20 I saw a Similar card saying I don’t know if we are at the card stage but this was cheap 😂

@jane1978xx ha I like that too. I think they're funny just not sure they'd be appreciated lol. I say that but if I got one I'd prob overthink and wonder why I didnt receive a soppy one. cant win 😂

I was thinking I’d just screen shot it and not even buy it 😂😂

Joining back in .....so I'm chatting away with 2 very nice looking fellas - one is a body builder and seems really nice , politics and outlook very much like mine . I'm meeting him later .
But I'm unsure- went in a date last night and bloke turned out to be really sleazy, hands all over then texts later which were a bit too much . Won't be seeing him again. He thought he was far funnier than he was . I didn't quite know how to put a stop to the touching all the time .

Just meeting mr muscle for coffee I think - he's seriously into competitive shows tho so very strict . Can't eat at certain times etc .

Other guy I'm chatting with is a boxer , and accounts manager . Also incredibly fit /hot

How I'm getting these conversations I'm not entirely sure! All nice at min , friendly banter no sleaze .

Only thing is I keep meeting them at the same place and worried I'm gonna get a reputation!

Not caught up yet but the conversation about @bangheadhere40 and her iron.

I think I need to untangle my life somewhat, stbxh moved out in October but we’d been over for 18 months by then, separate room for a few years by then.
I’m still listed as married to him on fb as I don’t want a load of questions from people I haven’t seen in years, he pays the mortgage I’ve told the council I’m the only adult living here for the council tax reduction does that mean it shows him not living here on the electoral role?
Looking from an outsider Prospective I probably look really dodgy, but it’s so over between us! It’s just complicated!

@stuckinarut79 electoral roll is diff to council tax you need to contact both

Thanks @jane

Question if I change my relationship status on fb to single is thus going to show up on everyone’s feed like when you go into a relationship? I know it’s silly but it’s more silly having it as married when we’re separated! I think I’m just a private person and not sure I want questions. Again I’m overthinking!!

@stuck you can change it, but also change your settings so it doesn't even show your relationship status, that way nothing will come up. It's in settings somewhere!

I don’t have mine showing at all

This tinder guy seems like he might be a bit of a head fucker

Every convo I try to initiate he doesn’t really give much back although he replies but he’s told me like 50 times ‘hmm that’s interesting’ or ‘you interest me’

I’m not a social bloody experiment

So we are back and forth but I feel like I am not actually getting much from him

Last Valentine's Day i hado been seeing Mr S for about 2 months. I got him a jokey card and he got me a card, flowers, a nice heart mug and chocolates. Then he told me he didn't want to tell his wife about me 😂

This year I will get Mr B a jokey card. No idea what he will do.

@stuckinarut79 no it doesnt show on ur timeline if you change it to single and as said can then totally hide it if u want. m.facebook.com/help/526974997467431?helpref=uf_permalink

I think a funny valentine is the way to go then and suggest cooking 🙂

and meant to say @notcoolmum really he had a wife?

Job done, changed to single and hidden it! Though my stbxh still has him married to me and no privacy settings on anything so if someone wanted to do some research on me I definitely look dodgy!!

@menora maybe just say do you want to meet? And you don't like endless chatting

Before this iron I had another that chatted for days, I said in the end can we meet up. His photo them vanished and never heard from him again. Probably married!

@bangheadhere40

I just don’t feel I could say that and not sure I want to meet him? I cannot make a decision on whether he is a dating prospect on this type of conversation I will give some examples

I feel like maybe the joke is on me?

@menora honestly I would say not, and he just likes the attention from that snapshot..

But all depends how long you been chatting, if just today might be different?

@bangheadhere40

That’s my feeling too. Yesterday he said he was cooking a big roast I asked who for? He never replied to that and changed the subject. That’s how I feel, like he just is getting off on me liking him - I really don’t know if I do at all. I’m not messaging him again and will see if he messages me

@crazycatlady20 a wife he had been separated from for a year before we met. But didn't want to know he was dating...