Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I can see why people let their standards slip though. I must be doing something wrong. I get into great chats that then just go dead 🤷🏻‍♀️. Another one today
Hence why I can see in the end you would just settle for someone who actually talks to you

@shitwithsugaron that's fantastic. I'm really proud of you.

All I have agreed with Mr Music is the time and station we are meeting at on Friday. I hope he will have considered where we are going for a drink but it's only a low key drink so will see what happens. I'm just leaving him to it though.

I will never settle again @menora. I would stay single over being in a relationship that doesn't give me what I want. It is all that sliding doors type stuff.

@saltysally i had a few family tragedies which meant I had a lot of anxiety with relationships, pushing people away because they would leave me anyway. I never do it with friends but certainly have with potential partners. It's certainly something I've worked on with FWB which is why I'm hurt at the loss of everything in one go. In a strange way, he helped me through a lot of grief by just being there and listening yet still finding me appealing as a woman too!

@eesha I hear you I promise. I went through the exact same thing and it's only been in recent years that I have been able to treat people as the people they are, not as reincarnations of my dad, and other family members and friends that have left me.

@shitwithsugaron Fantastic awareness and thanks for the good luck. I'm nervous about this one.

I love this. It is my 2020 motto.

Is anyone else struggling this weekend?

I'm so sick of being alone.

Yes I was a bit. I was very busy, I kept myself busy but I did most of the busy things alone by myself and it is just a shame I have no one to share them with. Took dog out for a walk today, came face to face with 5 beautiful deer. And I have no one to tell really or share the moment with (except lovely dog).

Yes a bit my anxiety levels are high so my brain is jumping around so I can't read or watch TV but simultaneously also feeling bored it's a strange state to be in really! Thankfully my concentration isn't so bad that I can't post on Mumsnet or message Mr Yorkshireman on WhatsApp so that's mostly what I've been doing today!

Update I have an iron mr museum!
Chatting and thought he was too posh but giving him a chance. I said I wasn't sure what I was looking for but happy to have a friend. He agreed then asked if as a friend do I want to go to the pics.

Arranged Thursday.

Let's see.

@Menora I did too.

Lots of busy things and I have a busy week. But it isn't enough anymore.

I am...

I think it was pointless seeing mr smile last night...it's just not right there, I thought it might be okay, but he isn't right for me, and I think my original love bombing senses are still correct.

Feeling low that the one person I really like I just can't see anything coming of, but I also don't want to go back on the apps just in case. Don't want to be hanging around indefinitely though either.

Off to drink some more camomile tea... I don't want to have to go back on medication that would feel like a backwards step I've been doing so well these past few years but yes being single certainly doesn't help but being with the wrong man would be just as bad or worse

@MyuMe

I am good at doing busy things. I am also sick of doing them alone. Cooking a nice roast for the DC who both are in their rooms doing homework revising and assignments and also I am very aware I can’t rely on them for company it’s not fair on them, they have their own lives and I don’t want to become my own mum. I like it when they come to me but it’s not often. I put a film on last night and one DC got bored half way though so I watched it alone and went to bed.

I am still able to see the good and the beauty in things, I just feel sad I have no one to share the lovely things with

@shit that's mr straight who I met on Friday and have been talking to for 3 months.

He has huge issues with his ex, full time dad, no time etc, lives 2 hours away.

I really like him but can't see anything coming of it unless something drastic happens at his end.

Horrible feeling though, I've not been this keen on anyone really. ☹

@Menora I don't even have any children.

And your mum sounds like mine. Relied on us for company and went mental when we dared say we wanted to go anywhere without her.

I'm struggling after the recent ghosting by my ex. I dont know why I went back there. There was just a small part of him that I loved to bits and I used to imagine a future with him. A perfect fantasy that would never have become reality unfortunately as he has too many issues. Need to give my head a wobble, but God I miss cuddling someone.

Cracking this open tonight I’m such a party animal 😂

@Menora are you doing dry January?