Dating thread 181 - into 2020 with finesse and strong boundaries!

[Menora]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

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Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

So what's the best thing to do when men message you and you're not interested. Ignore let them get the message?
Also after you've exchanged a few messages between on the site and your put off by something. How do you say thanks but no thanks. Or have I just answered my own question?
A nice bloke has given me his number and wants to meet tomorrow eve. We've not even chatted much. I said that pm was better for me which he has ignored and said 8pm text me! Should I message him again and say I can only do pm. Or text on phone. Don't really want him having my number

Sorry for questions but I know you lot have the answers

@bangheadhere40 a year, friends for 18months. It's not nice and I'm really trying hard not to message even though inside I'm so annoyed with it all. Thank goodness I'm out today.

@bangheadhere40 sorry for this drama with your ex, I remember hearing about this bloke who happened to say he saw his friends wife on one of these dodgy sites, turns out he was mad at her for helping his own wife leave him so actually set up a fake profile to shame her. Some people are just sickos

daisy I dont give my number out before a meet. This is mainly as I still have an old Nokia and cant block on it 😄 . But also,I like to meet first.

You have explained afternoon is better and he isnt listening. Mention again and of he dismisses it,I would leave it. No need for an explanation,just ignore

I'm good thanks shit. Loving that you have found someone who sounds great. Sometimes I wish I'd got straight back out there like you!

I think this is the year though. Quite a few single men in my large village...just got to be like you and go pub on my own one lunchtime( take the dog so I can at least talk to her!!).

@daisymat
If I am not interested after receiving a message then I tend to ignore - unless they have gone to loads of trouble referring to things in my profile and obviously made an effort then I thank them for a thoughtful message and say that I am looking for someone with/without.......whatever....... and wish them luck etc.
I have just stopped chat with someone on an app - he was sending loads of 'how's your day', 'have a good day' messages and not actually chatting, and he had asked me to meet.
I worded it along the lines of - that is had been good chatting to them but I felt we wouldn't really click in real life and wished them every success/happiness.
I can feel uncomfortable to do, but I'd rather receive a message like that than nothing at all I guess.
Re text v pm - do whatever you are comfortable with. If he isn't listening to you online, he probably won't in real life..

@bangheadhere40
If you can, please report this to your community police office or directly to the police. Whether it is your ex or not, you should not be having that done to you
Looking forward, can you disable those email accounts and set up a new account for yourself; I appreciate that is a pain in the arse to do though . Also, set up an account that is solely for communication between you and your ex - if this is then used elsewhere it would only be him that could be responsible for doing so; it also means all your communications are away from the rest of your life?

@daisymat It seems to be the norm for women who aren’t interested in chatting to me to just ignore me (and I guess the same happens with men who ignore women). It feels a bit rude the first few times but is so common on OLD we all get used to it. Although if we’ve been chatting for a bit it’s always nice to get a polite “thanks, but you’re not what I’m looking for” message.

@bangheadhere40 glad to hear your date went so well. Hopefully you can work out the logistics OK - my last LTR lived 200+ miles away for the first and final few years, and we made it work. Sorry to hear about your ex being such a d1ck too. Totally uncalled for, and definitely worth reporting him for it.

Thanks all. Just feels rude not replying. But if accepted that's ok I suppose

Nothing enticing me yet! 🤣

May I have some advice, please?
Mr Vegetarian - we have been chatting for about a week, have arranged to meet on Tuesday.
This could be me just seeing things that are not there...we have been talking on WhatsApp and he has changed his picture on there 3 or 4 times in 3 days (never pictures on him on it) And, he has changed his name on Match, too (kept the same picture though)
I find this odd, but not sure if that is just me or not...?

@undecided that is very very odd.

Can you ask why he keeps changing it and see what he says?

@cat thanks, but I don't think it's going to be a relationship with Mr Straight unfortunately , I just can't see it from his end being able to.

Date with Mr Sharkbite tonight.... at my local. I'm thinking the outfit I had planned last weekend might be good- black jumper, black suede skirt and black ankle boots?

@leave sounds a lovely outfit....

I take it he has been bitten by a shark 😅 have a lovely time.

@shitwithsugaron thankyou. So glad to see your updates btw- you definitely deserve some happiness 😊

I've got a feeling Mr Sharkbite is going to be too posh for me. A bit like JP in Fresh Meat if anyone watched that 😂

@Undecidedsofa I've noticed that on match constantly changing names it strikes me as weird too and who has the time to do that anyway?! I'm not sure what it's a red flag of but it feels like a bit of a red flag. @LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn I loved fresh meat!

@shitwithsugaron I've got to message Mr Spanners actually.... it's funny in person we get on well but messaging seems a bit dry? I'd happily see him again.

You sound a lot like me tbh 😂 I do admit I like them a bit more rough and ready. I mean last one was a proper valleys boy so.... 😂

@Stillsexystillsingle Fresh Meat was awesome wasn't it. I mean Tbf I kind of got why Josie kept shagging JP, even though she found it repulsive 😂

Advice please, matched with someone he’s asked a few questions, location, availability to date etc no real chat, not really answer anything when I’ve tried to start a conversation, he wants to meet, I said “oh I’ve passed the interview then? “ to which he replied “haha stage 1 yes” I get meeting quickly but I’ve no interest in meeting someone who seems so self involved, anybody thing I should give it a go?

I am still living in tumbleweed land. Pot belly photo wanted to meet but my heart is not in it

Ignore my previous post, I don’t need advice, it’s not a frigging job interview, I get a say as well, and so far he hasn’t passed my step one of being a decent human being!

@Stuckinarut79 is he trying to be funny do you think? As in funny ha ha not funny weird.. which is what he's succeeding at @LeaveBeforeTheLightsComeOn I would have shagged JP too I think jack Whitehall is sex on a stick... even though he's too young, too posh and too effeminate.. one of those so wrong it's right kind of men I suppose! He's very clever, very confident and very funny and that's very attractive.. which also explains why Pete Davidson can pull the likes of Kate beckinsale I'm guessing!

@Stillsexystillsingle I'd probably shag Whitehall tbf- he's way too posh but I'd do it cos he's funny.

I could really do with sex tbh... fantasising about Alex Turner far too much. Is it wrong I even find him sexy dressed up as a clown when performing Fluorescent Adolescent?! 😂 I'm clearly starved.... god I hope Mr Sharkbite is fit tonight 😂